Holly winced at that, remembering what Alex had said to her last night. “Well, good,” she said. “But I still don’t get what you’re afraid of. I would have thought you’d be, I don’t know, radiant.”
Gina looked at her in disbelief. “You’ve never heard of wedding jitters? If I’m feeling this freaked out, I can’t even imagine what Henry’s going through. His best man is probably talking him down from the ceiling.”
Holly thought about it. “I guess I thought wedding jitters are for when you have doubts. And it doesn’t sound like you have doubts.”
Gina shook her head, exasperated. “I don’t have doubts. I love Henry. That’s what’s so scary. Haven’t you ever felt something for a man that knocked you on your butt and scared the pants off you?”
“Yes,” Holly answered miserably, causing Gina to jerk upright and almost knock her smoothie onto the floor.
“What! You have not. That was a rhetorical question. I’ve never seen you messed up over a guy. Who is he? Details, Holly. It’s your duty to distract me from my gut-twisting turmoil by telling me about yours.”
Holly played with her straw. “It’s Alex,” she said reluctantly.
She stared at Holly in delighted amazement. “Your son’s coach, right? The guy you’re staying with now? The guy who carried you out of the Bengal Bar?”
“That would be him.”
Gina sat back in satisfaction. “I am really, really going to enjoy this. Tell me all.”
Holly started to brush it off, to change the subject like she usually did when her personal life came up. But then she remembered last night, and closed her eyes, and realized that this time, for once, she really did need to talk to someone.
“You remember him, right? From the bar? He’s got this body…”
“Believe me, I remember. I wanted to start at his toes and nibble my way up.”
“Well, living in the same house with him has not been easy. It was really only Will’s being there that kept me sane. And when he went away this weekend—”
“Will took off? Left you and Alex alone together?”
“Yes.”
Gina smiled. “Smart kid.”
Holly’s eyes widened. “You don’t think—oh, my God, you don’t think he did that on purpose? Trying to push us together or something?”
“I hope so. I’ve always had a lot of respect for Will’s brains.”
Holly shook her head quickly. “No. I’m sure Will wouldn’t do that. But the fact is, the very first night we were alone together…”
Gina leaned forward, eyes sparkling. “Take your time with the play-by-play here.”
Holly sighed. “It was incredible. We were coming in from the rainstorm—you remember how it poured last night. And we—we barely made it inside. We had sex in the front hallway. On the floor.”
Gina blinked. “Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“Well, this is a side of you we need to encourage. Good for Alex.”
“You have no idea. I never felt anything that intense before. It was…” Her hands moved in the air as she searched for words.
Gina nodded. “You’ve gone nonverbal, which can be translated as off-the-scale fantastic. But this is good, right? I don’t understand where the angst comes in.”
Holly slumped. “The sex was great, and the friendship part is great, too, but I don’t think Alex is boyfriend material.”
Gina looked at her in disgust. “What is wrong with you? Who cares if he’s boyfriend material? Just enjoy yourself, Holly. Have some fun. You’ve earned it. You’ve spent fifteen years being responsible and competent and a mom and a financial planner. Why don’t you enjoy being a woman for a change?”
The thought was so tempting Holly had a sip of smoothie to settle the butterflies in her stomach. “I can’t do that,” she said finally.
Gina threw up her hands. “Give me one good reason.”
“Will.”
“Right. Will. Tell me, Holly, how do you think Will would feel if he knew you were using him as an excuse not to be happy?”
“That’s not what I’m doing,” Holly argued. “It’s just…I can’t have a wild affair with his coach. Alex is important to Will. They’ve…they’ve bonded.”
“You’re important to Will, too. Why do you think he left this weekend?”
“If, and this is a big if, but if Will did leave because he was playing matchmaker or something, then it’s even worse. What if he gets his hopes up? How will he feel if—I mean, when things don’t work out? He’ll be devastated. He’s already been abandoned by his father. He doesn’t need to be disappointed like that again.”