Maybe she and I could ease into dating. I could just keep taking her to these fundraisers, like practice dating, with no expectations and no pressure. And in the meanwhile, I could find out what the rules were. There you go, just go slowly. That was a plan. Good thinking Mark. Okay, thinking about Beth again…
Saturday 12:30 PM
“So you went home alone again,” Adam said, squeezing some lemon into his iced tea. We had gone out to grab lunch at a local Italian place.
“Can you die from sexual frustration?” I poured some dressing on my antipasto and signaled the waitress for more water.
“You’re not going to die, but you might get carpal tunnel. You can’t go on like this anymore. You won. You were the last man standing. Now, give up and date the woman already.”
“I’m twenty-eight, not twenty-one. I see how happy you guys are.”
“So, what’s the problem? You’re not worried she’ll shoot you down, are you? It doesn’t sound like she has really high standards.” He laughed.
“The problem is that I’m flying blind. Women have all these rules when it comes to that shit and I’ve never had an interest in riding that rollercoaster before.”
“If you’re that worried about it, just start off quietly until you get used to it.”
“Oh yeah, just don’t mention it. Because Braden would be so grateful that I spared him any awkwardness by dating his sister behind his back.”
“It wouldn’t exactly be a shock if he found out. Don’t you remember yesterday’s conversation? He knows. Everybody knows, man. The cleaning lady asked me if the two of you had gotten together yet, and she barely speaks English.”
“Yeah, I remember. He said, ‘just do it right.’ But what does that mean?”
“It means date her rather than just fucking her. Women have rules, but they’re subject to interpretation, and half of them don’t even follow them.”
“What if I forgot myself and accidentally put my hand on her ass at some public event? It’s like you said, it would probably wind up on Twitter and Braden would just love that.”
“So, don’t forget to only put your hand on her ass when you’re alone. What, were you raised by wolves? Just make sure you do everything by the code, man. Treat her like you plan to see her in the morning, that’s all. For example, do say something like, ‘I would love to spend the night with you.’ Do not say something like, ‘that was great, baby. Do you need cab fare?”
“Since you brought it up, how do you handle the afterwards? How long do you have to, you know, hold them?” God, it was freaking uncomfortable discussing this. It felt just like when my dad handed me a copy of What a Boy Needs to Know and asked me if I masturbated.
“You’ll figure it out. You’ll be surprised how naturally it comes when you’re motivated. And the rest is the standard stuff. Just stick to the code. If she’s on the pill by the way, you’ll finally know what you’ve been missing.”
“Stick to the code. I can do that.” I chewed thoughtfully.
“Good. Now, let’s talk about something else before I grow a vagina.”
Chapter Five
Beth
Saturday 6:45 PM
I checked myself out in the mirror one last time. My blonde hair was tied back in a chignon and my diamond earrings matched my necklace. I had on evening make-up and five-inch heels. I was five foot eight barefoot, so in these shoes, I would be almost as tall as Mark was.
I turned around, admiring my white Elie Saab chiffon gown that tied at one shoulder. It had a gathered waist, and a light, flowing floor-length skirt, slit up one thigh. It showed off my long legs, which I thought were my best asset.
“Not too shabby, Beth,” I said with a smile. Great, now I was talking to myself. At least the Chihuahua was a separate living being. Maybe I should get a cat. Oh God, that was the first step toward being a crazy cat lady.
My buzzer rang and my confidence waivered even more, but I took a deep breath and reminded myself that he wanted me too. I crossed the room to the call box.
“Hello,” I said, pressing the intercom button.
“Hey, will you buzz me up?” Mark’s deep, rich voice made my tummy flutter even filtered through the speaker.
“Sure. I’ll see you in a minute.” I pushed the door lock button and waited nervously. I caught myself twisting my fingers together and I fisted them at my sides, which only served to make my palms sweaty. “What is wrong with you, Beth? You know how to keep your composure.” I paused. “And stop talking to yourself or people are going to wonder about you.”