“You write screenplays?” Tina’s interest rose for a moment. “Have you written anything that was made yet?”
The only thing Evan hated more than that follow up question was the answer that he had to give to it. “No. Not yet…Why do you ask?”
“I work in film too,” she replied.
Given Tina’s original reluctance to discuss what she does, Evan concluded at this point that she was either 1) a disgruntled actress who was stuck at the bottom of the totem pole, grunting away on some low-budget film production with the hope that her travail would someday pay off in the form of a film job that would be less embarrassingly exploitative than her current one; or 2) a soft porn actress who bore her flesh in those late-night cable TV films that had too little sex to qualify as true porn and too little story or character to qualify as true cinema. Either way, he thought it best to change the subject.
“You know, I don’t even know your name yet,” he tried.
“Well if I tell you what I do, then I certainly won’t tell you my name, so you’ll have to choose: my name or my job.”
Now he was almost positive that she was a soft porn actress, and knew that a discussion about her job should be avoided at all costs. “Your name. I don’t need to know what you do. But I do need to know your name.”
“That’s too bad, because I’ve already prepared myself to tell you what I do, and now I’m feeling the need to share it with you.”
“Because I write screenplays?” he said, trying to feign ignorance and still hoping to change the subject.
“No. Because I trust you for some strange reason. There’s something honest and reassuring about you.”
“There is?”
“Yeah…Like you mean well – even if your delivery needs work…So here’s what I do.” Tina looked away for an awkward moment.
Evan felt even more uncomfortable now. He knew that this conversation had grown too serious too fast and there was no recovering from it now. There was only a graceful exit strategy to be devised as quickly as possible.
“I’m an actress…” Tina started. She made eye contact with Evan for a moment, and then looked to the side a little. “I work mainly in skin flicks…I mean, I work in skin flicks right now…Nothing really hard core…There’s no actual intercourse involved and it pays really well…”
Tina tried a forced smile at Evan, and Evan looked at her acceptingly.
“I ran away from home when I was sixteen, and I needed something to pay the bills and then get myself through college…Then, I guess I just kept doing it…But I want to get involved in other films – you know, normal films – one day soon, I hope…”
Evan sighed at the end of her confession, and – still clueless about how to respond but painfully aware of the need to say something – he reverted once again to autopilot. “I think that’s really cool that you can admit to that. I mean, it makes you real. Someone who knows her issues and has dealt with them.”
“I guess,” Tina replied distantly, with a self-reflective gaze that suggested she might not have even heard what Evan just said. Evan hoped this was the case because he had no idea what issues he had just referred to in his compliment.
“And I think it’s really cool that you’re so comfortable with your body and with your sexuality…I mean, not everyone can look natural on camera…And a lot of people are very inhibited about their bodies and their sexuality.”
“Are you?” she asked, suddenly focused on this question.
“Well I could never…” He tried to think of a polite way to describe what Tina does, but preferred to stay away from that topic. “I mean, I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, but…Well, I don’t know…Women tell me that I’m definitely comfortable with my body sexually. And I’ve never really felt uncomfortable in bed, so I guess – ”
“Women tell you that?” she asked, somewhat intrigued. “So have you been with a lot of women?” There was a genuine curiosity in her question that gave Evan some hope.
“Actually, I’ve been with my fair share, for my age.”
“And you’re what – twenty-seven years old?”
“Thanks. But I’m twenty-nine.”
“So what’s the body count?”
“The body count?”
“You know: how many women have you slept with in your twenty-nine years?”
Evan wasn’t sure whether to overstate the number to look sexually impressive to a soft porn star, or whether to understate the number to look less promiscuous and more like the responsible, clean cut, solid-boyfriend type. Since he still hadn’t quite figured out what Tina was looking for or who she really was, he decided just to tell the truth.