Windburn(79)

I do not know how long I will have where my mind is fully functioning. I pray this will pass, but I fear it never will. I fear the damage done is irrevocable.

He paused and dipped the pen again, the sound of the tip scratching on the thick paper the only noise in the room.

I loved your mother, more than any other woman in my life. You need to know that. I knew she was a child of Spirit. I knew she would give me half-breed children. I didn’t care; I wanted both you and your brother. I loved you and your brother for everything you were. Beautiful, sweet babies who were mine in a way Cassava would not allow me with my other children. I tell you this because I remember the things I have done. The words I have said, and I see how they have torn at you. How they have broken you, and it pains me beyond all I can describe.

They were not my words, daughter. Never have I seen you as less than the rest of our family. You have always been the one I pinned my hopes on. Cassava believed Bramley was to be my heir, the one my throne would fall to.

But she does not know the truth.

You were the one, Larkspur. You were always the one with the fire in your heart, and the power in your soul. From the time you took your first breath, you were the warrior Fate decreed would change our world.

I name you as my heir, Larkspur. Should I fall, or should my mind break, you will be the one to see our family through. There is none other who can do this; the mother goddess has made it clear you are the choice for the Rim.

I love you, daughter. No matter what happens, know my love for you is true. You have always been the one I loved the best. The one I pinned all my hopes on.

Again he paused and dipped the feather, but this time he stopped with the tip hanging over the paper. The black liquid dripped off the tip, leaving a blob on the bottom of the page that spread in a shape he knew all too well.

The raven’s wings spread wide across the page, and he shook his head. “No. I must finish this. Blackbird, be gone from my mind!”

I wobbled, even though I was on one knee in the Traveling room within the Rim. The memory would have brought me to my knees if I hadn’t already been there. Claws dug into my leg. I turned my attention to my familiar. “Peta, did you see—”

“No. I felt things that were not you.”

“What are you two talking about?” my father demanded.

The doors burst open and several guards poured in.

Everything jumbled together. The journey, the destruction of the Eyrie, the death of Aria, my father’s memory, the oubliette. I slumped forward to my knees.

“Father, Vetch tried to kill Bella and me. The guards will corroborate,” I said.

The guards nodded one by one.

“Why would your brother try to kill you?” His eyes were filled with confusion.

“Because he thought he was the named heir. Because Cassava set him on us.” Slowly I pushed myself to my feet, though I was anything but steady. “I need to rest. You need to name an heir.”

I walked out of the Traveling room, Peta right with me at my side.

One of the guards, Arbutus, caught up to me. “I will see you to your room, Princess.”

I snorted. “Where is Raven?”

“Gone, missing for the last week.”

“And Blackbird?”

Arbutus shrugged. “I don’t know who that is, but none with the name has been here.”

I stopped. “I need a message sent to Bella and Ash. Tell them the queen is dead. And give Bella this.” I took the small leather pouch from my side and turned my back to Arbutus. I pulled the emerald stone from my vest and dropped it into the bag. It was the best I could do with what I had at hand.

I gave it over to Arbutus.

He bobbed his head and turned back the way we’d come. “I’ll take the message myself.”

I should have been happy, but the truth was, I knew Blackbird was far from done. Likely he was licking his wounds and preparing some new trap for me. Then there was my father’s memory I’d seen. It tore me up from the inside out. Knowing he knew he was losing his mind to the damage Cassava had done.

We reached my room and I slipped inside, closing the door behind me.

I’d lost my father, just as I’d found him within his memories. A rough tongue flicked over my cheek, swiping away a tear. I dropped to the bed, then rolled my head so I could tuck my face against Peta.

“Lark, what did you see?”

Carefully I pieced the words together. “The letter, I’m sure it was the one he sent to me in the Pit. The one Blackbird took. He’ll have destroyed it by now.”

“Of course.” Peta stretched out further, yawning. “He’s not a fool.”

I closed my eyes, feeling like I was missing something. Something out of reach that if I could put my finger on everything else would make sense.