“And you think opening a day-care center could be yours?” Trace asked, studying her closely. “You honestly think you’ll be happy staying here and looking after kids? Kids, who aren’t your own, that is. I think your mother and I figured you’d be settled down with a whole brood by now.”
Carrie shrugged. “So did I, but it hasn’t happened. I’m trying to find an alternative that will be a good fit, something I can be as excited about as Cait is about medicine.”
“It’s a big decision,” he reminded her, as if she weren’t already very well aware of that.
Carrie knew he was making his point only to be sure she wasn’t diving into something this demanding on a whim. Taking care of other people’s children was a huge responsibility. She’d seen that firsthand since she’d been working with Julie. And once she’d committed to it, it wasn’t something she could walk away from on yet another whim. People would be counting on her.
“I know it must seem as if this whole idea has come to me out of the blue and I can’t deny that a few months ago, it had never once crossed my mind,” she conceded.
“What happened?” Trace asked.
“You mean besides realizing that I was in a dead-end relationship and quitting my job with no prospects for another one?” she said dryly.
“Leaving Marc and that job were the smartest things you’d done in a while, if you ask me,” Trace told her, not even trying to hide the disdain he’d managed to mask while the relationship had been new and, she’d claimed, everything she’d ever wanted. “You were too good for him and that job wore you out. It didn’t make you happy.”
“I loved my job,” she protested. And at first Marc had been as attentive as she could possibly have wanted. It was only later that she’d realized that all that attention she’d basked in was nothing more than a jaded attempt to make sure she continued to do his bidding.
Trace regarded her skeptically. “Which part of the job made you want to jump out of bed in the morning? And before you answer, remember my history. I was dragged into banking by my father—a nice, stable career path I was supposedly destined to follow. It would have meant good money and stability for sure, but I hated every minute of it. It wasn’t until I convinced Dad that my sister was more suited to that career and I was free to continue with my design business that I was truly happy.” He gave her a long look. “So I know a little bit about how important it is to choose what you were truly meant to do and not let anyone or anything stand in your way.”
Carrie heard what he was saying. “Okay, it wasn’t the PR job I loved so much. It was Marc. You’re right about that. I wanted to impress him.” She shrugged. “And I happened to be good at public relations. There’s a lot to be said just for being good at what you do. Especially in that world, praise is seductive. And I wanted to do something that would make the family take notice and be proud of me.”
“Darling, we’ve always been proud of you,” her mother said, looking shocked.
“Sure, in sort of a you’re-our-daughter-and-we’ll-love-you-no-matter-what way. Mom, you and everyone else in our family set the bar pretty darn high.”
Abby sighed. “I suppose we did, and your grandfather’s certainly not above reminding everyone about his lofty standards. Still, we all know how that job worked out. It’s over and done with now,” her mother said briskly. “Tell us why you think opening a day care is what you were meant to do? How did you reach that conclusion?”
“I was talking to Luke about my options. We just started batting around ideas and he pointed out that half the kids in our family are in and out of my house on a regular basis. I’m good with them. I love being with them.”
“But that’s all pretty casual,” her mom said worriedly. “This will be a full-time commitment, Carrie. It’s not something to take lightly.”
“I know that,” she said impatiently. She reached in her pocket and pulled out the pro-con list she’d printed. She handed it over to her mom. “And that’s why I’m taking it very seriously. Look those over and you’ll see just how carefully I’ve been analyzing this.”
“Pros and cons?” Abby said with a smile. “This is something your sister would do.”
“Since I’ve been watching her analyze things to death practically since birth, I decided to give it a try,” Carrie said wryly. “And I’ve been volunteering, just for a few days so far, at a day care outside of town. The owner’s been in the business for years. She’s promised to be my mentor and guide me through everything I need to do, but only if I prove to her that I can handle the job. There’s no telling how long I’ll have to pay my dues before she’s convinced, so I definitely won’t be taking the next step impulsively. I’m even taking a couple of classes she recommended online.”