Willow Brook Road(119)
“Are you sure? The idea holds a lot of appeal to me. I thought you were as frustrated as I am.”
“Believe me, I’m plenty frustrated,” Sam said with heartfelt emotion. In fact, if she kept wiggling around, she was going to discover just how ready he was to take the next step. “I’m trying to play fair. You’re not the kind of woman a man just ravishes without thinking of the consequences.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Are we talking about condoms?”
This time her expression was so filled with disbelief that Sam resisted the desire to laugh. “No, we’re okay on the condom front.”
“Then what consequences?”
“Carrie, what does sleeping with me mean to you?”
“It means what it would to any woman,” she said impatiently, “that we’re getting closer, as close as two people can be. And, believe me, I’m aware that it doesn’t always mean the same thing to men. I learned that the hard way from the very man who tried to entice me back into his life earlier this morning.”
“And that’s why I want to be sure you and I are on the same page before we take that step. It would kill me to think that I’d hurt you the way Marc Reynolds did.”
“You couldn’t possibly do that, unless you’ve been secretly seeing some model I don’t know about.”
“You’re the only woman I’m seeing, the only woman I want in my life,” he said with complete sincerity.
“Then you’re making this a lot more complicated than it needs to be,” she said.
Sam knew what he was about to say was likely going to get this sexy, wonderful woman not only out of his arms, but likely out the door. Still, he had to be honest with her. Cards on the table, and all that.
“If I were remotely ready to take the next step,” he said.
“You mean sex?”
“I mean marriage.”
Her eyes widened. “When did marriage enter into this?”
“Right now, or at least it should have. You’re the kind of woman who deserves to walk down the aisle in a gorgeous white gown with your whole family looking on. I want that for you.”
“Okay,” she said slowly. “But?”
“I’m not sure I can be the guy who’s waiting for you at the front of the chapel.”
She was on her feet in a heartbeat, just as he’d predicted, looking glorious in her anger.
“Have I said one single word about marriage? Have I hinted that I need a ring on my finger? Or that you’d be the man I want to put it there? No, I have not! I’m no more ready for that than you are.”
She started to pace. “How could I have done this twice?” she asked of no one in particular.
“Done what twice?” Sam asked, confused.
“Fallen in love with a complete idiot.”
When he stared at her in shock, she waved him off with an impatient gesture. “Oh, don’t go getting yourself all worked up. I might love you, but I’m not some clinging vine who needs hearts and flowers and romance every minute of every day. I need a partner who values me. I need a man who wants what I want, who knows the importance of family. I thought that might be you. Maybe you’re not the one who’s an idiot. Maybe it’s me, after all.”
“You are not an idiot,” Sam said forcefully. “The jury’s probably still out on me. I’m just trying to do the right thing.”
“Yeah, you want to be fair. You don’t want to take advantage of me under false pretenses. I get it. You’re noble.”
She made it sound as if that was the worst thing in the world he could possibly be. Since, at the moment, it was keeping her out of his bed, where they both wanted to be, maybe she was right.
Chin held high, she leveled a look at him. “Call me when you decide you’re ready to take the next step. If you’re very, very lucky, maybe I’ll still be available.”
And then she was gone, just as Sam had also predicted. He’d done the right thing just now. He knew in his heart that he had. He’d been honest.
So why did it feel as if it had cost him everything he’d ever wanted?
23
Carrie opened her kitchen cupboards, which were filled with family castoffs, and tried to choose a dish she wasn’t overly fond of, something dispensable, something she wouldn’t regret smashing into a thousand pieces.
Her gaze fell on a gravy boat. Who needed a gravy boat? Not her, since she hadn’t cooked a meal requiring gravy even once in her entire life. Gravy was Nell’s domain, as were the mashed potatoes and everything else that tasted better when covered with rich, flavorful gravy. Her attempt to make gravy under Nell’s tutelage hadn’t gone all that well. She doubted she’d repeat it.