He studied her face and saw the Susie he’d fallen in love with, the one who almost always let hope and optimism outshine despair. “Are you sure this is what you want, even after what you’ve been through? I know I’ve been encouraging you to consider adoption again, but this mom, you know she could be a bad risk when it comes to sticking with her decision.”
“Mack, I want so badly to hold a baby in my arms. I want us to have a family and this is our chance. I think this was meant to be. I have to believe that.”
“And you’re strong enough to deal with it, if it turns out you’re wrong?” He pulled her close, rested his chin on her head. “Because I can’t lose you over this, Suze. You’re my world.”
“And you’re mine. You always have been. I think we can make room in it for one more.”
Mack saw no way around it. As terrified as he was of a repeat of the last time, if this baby was what Susie needed, he’d put his own fears aside and move heaven and earth to see that it happened. He thought of the face in that tiny photograph and the powerful pull he’d felt as he’d stared into those solemn brown eyes.
“I’ll call Connor,” he said. “Why don’t you open the windows and get a little fresh air into this room?”
While he made the call, he watched as Susie opened windows, then moved around the room, touching the mobile over the crib to set the little bunnies into motion, then taking a ruffled pink dress from the rack inside a white wardrobe and holding it to her face. She picked up a pale yellow onesie next, then a stuffed bunny, all the while with tears streaming.
Mack disconnected the call and went to his wife. “Connor thinks he can make the arrangements for tomorrow.”
Her gaze shot up. “That soon?”
“Soon?” he said. “It feels as if we’ve been waiting forever.”
“You’re right, but an hour ago we didn’t think it was possible. Now we have to be ready by tomorrow.”
Mack looked around the perfect nursery. “I think we have pretty much everything we need.”
“But I need to call everyone. We’ll want to have the family here to meet her,” she said excitedly. Then her face fell. “Or maybe not.”
Mack knew exactly what she was thinking. “It won’t be like last time, Suze.” No matter what he had to do, he would make sure of that. This time they would bring a baby home.
“Still I think we’d better wait before planning anything,” she said, her apprehension plain.
Her expression had lost a little of its spark. Mack could understand that. His own stomach was in turmoil. If it was possible for hope and dread to coexist, that’s what was going on inside him right now. And if he felt this way, it would be quadrupled for Susie.
Please, God, let it work out this time, he prayed silently. Since his communications with God were pretty rare, he was tempted to call Nell and get her on the case, but they’d just agreed to keep this news to themselves a little longer. Hopefully his heartfelt plea would be enough just this once.
Sam watched warily as Carrie wandered around his living room, straightening this, examining that. She was clearly on edge, though he had no idea why. She’d already told him she’d sent Marc Reynolds on his way a couple hours earlier, so that was behind her. Was she having second thoughts already?
“Bobby’s in school?” she asked eventually.
“He left a couple of hours ago,” Sam said. Surely she already knew that, given it was midmorning.
“Then we’re alone?”
Suddenly he understood her nerves. They were alone with no likely interruptions. “We are alone,” he said, walking across the room to join her.
“And you don’t have to be at work right away?”
“Not till much, much later,” he confirmed. “You?”
“If I spend another minute going over the same papers for the hundredth time or checking the supplies, I might lose my mind,” she admitted. “I’m as ready to open as I’m going to be.”
“Interesting,” he said, running his finger along the curve of her jaw. “Here we both are, all alone, at loose ends. What do you suppose we should do?”
Her gaze held his. “If you don’t come up with an idea pretty darn quickly, you’re not the man I thought you were.”
Sam laughed and scooped her into his arms, but instead of heading for a bedroom, he sat on the sofa, Carrie snuggled in his lap.
She regarded him with obvious disappointment. “Seriously?”
“I am not going to drag you off to my room to make love for the very first time just because we both have some time to kill,” he said. “That’s no way to treat a lady.”