William in Trouble

CHAPTER 1





WILLIAM AND THE EARLY ROMANS


WILLIAM and Douglas and Henry and Ginger, commonly known as the Outlaws, were coming home from school together. There was violent excitement in the village. A real, true Archaeological Society was excavating down in the valley and had discovered real true traces of a real true Roman villa. The Outlaws had decided to watch operations. Douglas and Henry were thrilled by the stories they had heard. William and Ginger were incredulous and rather contemptuous.

‘An’ they’re findin’ bits of broken pots an’ things,’ said Henry.

‘Not much use if they’re broken,’ said William.

‘Yes, but they stick ’em together with glue, I bet.’

‘Pots don’ hold water stuck together with glue,’ said William scathingly. ‘I’ve tried ’em. I don’ see what use findin’ bits of broken pots is anyway. I could give ’em lots of broken pots out of our dustbin if that’s all they want. Our housemaid, she’s always breakin’ pots. She’d’ve made a fine ancient Roman, she would. Seems to me these ancient Romans wasn’t much use spite o’ bein’ cracked up so – spendin’ all their time breakin’ pots.’

‘They didn’t,’ said Henry, exasperated. ‘The pots only got broken with bein’ buried.’

‘Well,’ said William triumphantly, ‘think of that – buryin’ pots! ’S almost as silly as breakin’ ’em. Think of a race of men like what the ancient Romans is supposed to have been, spendin’ all their time buryin’ pots. . . . I always knew there was something fishy about those Romans. Their langwidge is enough to put you off to start with – hic haec hoc an’ stuff like that – fancy talkin’ it – an’ then we’re s’posed to think ’em great an’ all they did was to bury broken bits of pot . . . I’ve never liked ’em. I’d rather have pirates or Red Injuns any day.’

Henry felt that William’s eloquence was taking him, as usual, rather far from the matter in hand.

‘Well, they’re findin’ money, too,’ he said, stoutly defending the reputation of the departed race.

‘Real money?’ said William with interest. ‘Money you can spend?’

‘No,’ said Henry irritably. ‘Roman money, of course – they’re findin’ it all over the place.’

‘Breakin’ pots an’ throwin’ money about what other people can’t spend,’ said William with disgust.

But he went with the others to watch the excavations. They were not allowed near, but from their position behind the rope that partitioned off the site of the excavations they had a good view of operations. Some workmen were digging in a trench where they kept stooping down and throwing pieces of pottery or coins on to a little heap by the side. A little old man with a beard and spectacles wandered up and down, occasionally inspecting the piles of coins and broken pottery and giving instructions to the workmen.

The Outlaws watched for a time in silence, then boredom settled upon them. The Outlaws did not suffer boredom gladly.

‘I bet,’ said William, slowly taking his catapult from his pocket, ‘I bet I could make every one of those coins in that heap jump into the air with just one knock.’

He took a small stone from the ground and aimed. He missed the coins, but got the little old man in the small of the back. The little old man threw up his arms with a yell and fell head first into the trench. The Outlaws fled precipitately from the scene of the crime, not stopping to draw breath till they were in the old barn.

‘I s’pect you killed him,’ said Douglas the pessimist. ‘Now we shall all get hung an’ all your fault.’

‘No – I saw him movin’ afterwards,’ said Ginger the optimist.

‘Well, he’ll write to our fathers an’ there’ll be no end of a fuss,’ grumbled Douglas.

‘It’s all those beastly ancient Romans,’ said William gloomily. ‘I never did like ’em. Well, who else in the world’d have a langwidge like “hic haec hoc”?’

The nest day was a half-holiday, and most of the school was evidently going to watch the excavations.

Benson minor had great hopes of seeing the Roman soldier who figured in the illustration that formed the frontispiece to Cæsar IV. dug up whole and entire, and Smith minor thought that with luck they might come upon a Roman eagle. Smith minimus accompanied them under a vague impression that the ghost of Julius Cæsar was going to arise from the earth at a given signal. The Outlaws would have liked to watch the excavations too. It was a hot day and there is a great fascination in standing in the shade and watching strong men digging in the heat.