The overhead light blinded me for a minute until my eyes adjusted. Luke stood in the shower, facing away from the spigot, letting the water beat his back. One of his hands was on the wall, supporting his weight. The other was on his cock, thick and long and clearly right in the middle of something. Something dirty, something private—I couldn’t look away.
His eyes were shut, his entire face tight in concentration. What did he think of? Who?
He moaned again, and it was so clearly a sound of pleasure. How could I have missed it? Maybe I had known all along. Maybe I had come here to see this, to press my nose against the window and dream of the future.
He fisted his cock, slow and easy, and I found myself storing that information away for a future when I would use it—this was how he liked to be touched.
His whole body glistened, his chest and arms adorned with glimmering droplets while swaths of steaming water ran down his back and legs. I wondered if the water slipped between them, caressing his tender sac as a warm tongue might do.
As I would have, if he had come to me. And yet I couldn’t be bitter, not to watch this. Like watching a tornado, so self-contained in its strength, so natural in its glory, and I wanted it to sweep me away. I wanted him to let me in. I wanted so badly to know what he was thinking.
“Shelly,” came out on a breath.
At least I thought he said my name. It wafted to me on the thick, moist air. I couldn’t be sure if it was my wishful thinking, until he said it again. He mumbled it this time, and I imagined it was more than a fleeting thought, that he was looking at me, speaking to me. My gaze snapped back to his face, but his eyes were still shut. If he saw me at all, it was in his mind. A specter with my body but none of my issues, one who didn’t freeze up when a man stood by the bed. It was that Shelly he spoke to, that one he wanted.
He stroked himself faster, and my body responded with heat of its own, dampening and softening as if he were already inside me, preparing my body so that his size and his speed wouldn’t damage me. The human body was an amazing thing that way. The mind, not so much. As he came on the tile wall, my body twinged, but all I could think was—not for me.
He wanted me enough to speak my name, but he’d chosen the fantasy of me instead. Smart man. Self-disgust curdled any lingering arousal.
Returning to the plush comfort of the bed, I listened as the shower squeaked off, as he brushed his teeth and dressed. The bathroom door opened all the way, draping yellow light over me before he flicked it off. I waited for his footsteps to move away, to settle into the couch in the next room. Instead his dark silhouette remained in the doorway, leaning against the frame, arms crossed.
Had he detected me outside the bathroom? Maybe he would demand an apology. At length I realized he wasn’t waiting for anything. He was merely watching me sleep—a voyeurism of his own.
I spoke into the darkness. “Hi, Luke.”
“Shelly.” He returned the greeting without hesitation, apparently unsurprised to find me awake.
“Can’t sleep?”
“It’s the adrenaline rush. After a situation like that, it’s not uncommon for me to stay up half the night.”
“Oh. What do you usually do on those nights?” I had meant watching TV or reading a book but mentally kicked myself, because I had just invited him to tell me about his sex life.
He sounded amused. “That’s a little different. I’d usually finish out my shift, fill out paperwork. If we made an arrest, there’d be processing and questioning. I don’t usually go straight home.”
I tried to match his light tone. “This was your first time doing something illegal, then? How does it feel to be a criminal like me?”
His voice lowered. “It wasn’t my first time doing something criminal.”
“Really?” I sat up a little. “Did you once run a red light? Never say so.”
“Nah. Not without the flashers on.”
“Did you abuse your badge?” I teased. “I can see it now. You pull her over. Oh, Officer, I had no idea I was going so fast. Next thing you know, your belt is around your ankles, and she’s out of a speeding ticket.”
“What a flattering portrayal of me,” he said drily.
“Well, I’m out of ideas. I really can’t imagine you breaking the law at all, with the exception of…you know, punching and choking the guy earlier. That was probably illegal.”
“Probably.”
“That was different, though. He was totally baiting you. You had a good reason.”
“All criminals have a good reason.”
I considered that. “I don’t. I did it to get money. That’s hardly a noble cause.”