He laughed sharply. “Some good that did you.”
“Hey, things aren’t so bad.” As I spoke the words, I realized they were true. This cottage felt like it was a million miles from civilization—and from danger. In the whole world, there was only the two of us. The darkness and distance wove a cocoon around us, keeping the scary predators and unkind world out of sight and out of mind.
“How long can we stay here?” I asked.
He shrugged. “From my talk with Todd, it’s clear Henri has gone to ground. I have a few people who can help me with tracking him down, but I can coordinate that from here. It’s a secure location, completely untraceable. We can stay here until we find him.”
I thought of Henri’s new hideout, the Barracks. But if I told Luke, we would have to leave. If I told him, the cocoon would dissolve. Henri would still be there a week from now, but I would never have this chance again. Of course, it was selfish. This wasn’t just about me or Claire. Luke wanted to take Henri down for reasons of his own. He might finally get closure on his sister. He certainly wouldn’t thank me for withholding information that could help. But I couldn’t make myself say the words. I couldn’t destroy the one thing I had longed for.
I looked away, as if the lie of omission were written in my eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “You didn’t get hurt in the fight, did you?”
I swallowed my guilt. “No, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”
He stood. “Sure, let me show you the bedroom.”
He led me to a small room, which had a large bed and an oak side table and dresser. Across the bed, a ruffled bedspread with large white flowers was both ostentatious and humble at the same time. Matching drapes covered the windows.
“It came with the place,” he said from behind me. “In case you were thinking of mocking me.”
“It suits you.”
“I have always felt that about magnolias.”
“I meant the ruffles.”
“Thanks. At least the bed is comfortable. The bathroom is down the hall, so I’ll let you use that before you turn in. I keep spare toothbrushes and everything else in the cabinet.”
Exhausted, I only planned to wash up in the sink, but the prospect of a bath was too alluring. The tub was bare, no shower curtain and no drain stopper. I indulged in a hot shower instead, spilling water over the side and feeling guilty for using this much hot water. I cleaned the greasy residue from my hair, reveling in the bitter-soap scent I recognized from Luke. It was harsh stuff, the kind that took my skin off as it cleaned, but I appreciated its strength. The residue of my sins went too deep for regular soap.
A small pile of neatly folded clothes waited for me outside the door. A man’s white undershirt and a pair of boxers. Well, that answered the boxers-or-briefs question. I rolled the waist until it promised to stay on me, while the shirt draped over me. Luke didn’t look like a large man from far away, mostly due to his leanness. But up close he was tall and filled out with muscle. His was a deceptive power, which made me adore him even more.
I found him in the bedroom, turning down the thick blankets. He stepped back when I came inside. Would we have sex here tonight? Almost as if I had voiced the question, he answered.
“I’m sleeping on the couch.”
“Oh.” I slipped past him and climbed into bed. It was a relief, the lack of expectation. So why did my stomach feel so hollow?
I thought for a moment he might tuck me in, maybe even sit on the bed, and I realized with alarm that I might fall apart if he did. Already, with him just standing beside the bed, my heart rate had increased. Heavy blankets, in the dark, couldn’t breathe.
He turned and left without a word.
My eyes slid shut. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea. My clothes and makeup and sultry sarcasm were all part of my armor, but here they were stripped away. Just me, as lonely and scared as I had been at sixteen, desperate to get out of my father’s house.
From the bathroom, I heard the shower turn on. I imagined him under the spray, rivulets of sweat and dirt running over roughened skin. I pictured the pleasure on his face as hot water soothed the tension in his muscles.
I stared at the little dots on the ceiling, wondering how I could have been so tired before but so awake now. How just knowing he was naked had drained all the sleep from my body.
I heard a groan from the bathroom. Or had I? It was hard to tell over the rush of the shower. What if he had been really hurt? He might need my help.
Chapter Fourteen
Pushing the covers back, I slipped from the bed. The carpet was thin and brown, as if I walked on a soft dirt path. The bathroom door was open a crack. I pushed it a little farther.