Wild Dirty Secret(56)

Luke had viewed the whole exchange with the mild amusement typical of a lowlife watching a girl fight, though I didn’t know if that was genuine or part of his act. He stepped forward. “There’s no need to get upset,” he said in an oily voice I hadn’t even known he was capable of. “Nice-looking girls like you two deserve to party. I’ll bring you guys in, get us a table.” He leered rather convincingly. “I’m sure you can think of some way to repay me.”

With a flurry of rushed excuses, Striped Stockings dragged her friend away, out of the line and out of sight.

Turning back to the bouncer, Luke shrugged. “Their loss.”





Chapter Nine





Inside the door, we handed over the IDs to another bouncer who examined them under a bright light. A cold line of sweat ran down my back as I waited. There was no way they would catch them as fakes, and really, they would have known within two seconds. It was almost as if the extended wait, with the guy glancing from me to the card, was designed to elicit a reaction, the telltale heart of underage clubbing.

Finally, he handed back the cards and stamped our hands with Xs. I plunged into the sweaty mass, eager to blend in. Luke was right behind me, his slick fingers entwined with mine. Everywhere I looked, people laughed and frowned, flirted and fucked with their eyes, their words, their hips against hips. Too many people, too little space. We reached an empty back wall, and I melted against it, sucking in the air at the edges of the room.

Luke’s body closed in on me from behind, and we could have been fucking like this, except for the kindness in his touch.

He murmured into my ear. “What’s wrong? If you’re pretending some sort of overdose, it’s very convincing.”

I shook my head. Even the wall shook with the effort of holding this many bodies, but then I realized it was me moaning. Underwater, unable to hear the sound of my own voice except for its vibrations in my throat. Unable to hear anything at all except the rush in my ears. I let the currents pull me, the too-tight grip on my arm like a hook yanking me out of the water. We stumbled together into a bathroom. I staggered back, supporting myself on the ceramic sink. Luke grabbed a dirty mop and slung it through the metal handle, keeping everyone out.

He turned on me. “What the hell happened out there?”

“Sorry,” I muttered. “Freaked out a little.”

“Yeah, I got that. Want to tell me why?”

“I don’t know. So many people.”

“There were plenty of people at headquarters, and you didn’t lose your shit. So tell me why.”

“I don’t know. Those girls, the way you looked at them.”

He seemed genuinely puzzled. “How did I look at them?”

“You know,” I choked out.

“Like I wanted to smack them for being little idiots. Is that what you mean?”

“No, no. Like you wanted them.”

Understanding dawned in his green eyes, and with it, bright shame within me.

“I didn’t want them,” he said gently.

The kind of soothing tone you use with a child. It’s only lightning. It can’t hurt you. But I had seen the lightning and the lustful light in his eyes. I had felt its burn and knew well how it hurt.

“I know you didn’t.” Did I? Oh shit, I was losing it.

“Breathe.”

The low command penetrated my haze, drew me back to the surface. I breathed. When his face came into focus, it was concerned. That part would have been fine. The part that really sickened me was the kindness. Poor Shelly. She can’t help what she does. This was all predetermined years ago. No way to change my course.

“I’m fine,” I said. “Got a little derailed, but I’m fine.”

He looked doubtful. Extremely doubtful, and I worried if I didn’t convince him soon, he would abandon our entire mission.

“Look, I’m okay. See? I’m standing all by myself, breathing without you having to tell me. Very mature-like.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“And I realize I’m jumpy, so as a gesture of good faith, I’ll let you hold on to my gun for me,” I said magnanimously.

“I’ve already got it,” he said, reaching back to where he’d stashed it in his belt. He swore as he came up empty.

I handed it to him. “Sorry. But not really, because you had no right to take it from me in the first place.”

“I had every right. Do I even want to check the registration on this?”

“Only if you want your worst suspicions confirmed.”

“No, thanks.”

“This way is better. I’m giving you permission to hang on to it. Because I trust you.” My emphasis on the last few words could not go unnoticed.