Over.
It was really over. There was no one to find me and force me back into the life. No one to hang over me like a heavy cloud. Even if they put me in jail for my part, I would have felt nothing but gratitude.
That wouldn’t happen, though. The cops and the doctors veiled their pity behind professionalism, but the letter V might as well have been stitched across my hospital gown.
Victim.
And well, maybe so. I needed to take responsibility for every trick I had turned. It was the only way to stay sane. But as much as I would have wished it, I couldn’t deny the truth of my father’s words. He had trained me, and I had performed like an obedient bitch—so was it a hapless struggle or a choice? The way of the world or a sin? I wasn’t sure it mattered anymore. I would never again have that pause outside a hotel room door. I would never again hear those unwelcome footsteps pause outside mine. Over.
Well, shit. “What the hell am I going to do now?”
Allie laughed, a little watery. “You’ll think of something, and I’m sure it will make me want to pull my hair out, but it will be awesome.”
“So basically I’m three years old like Bailey.”
She nudged my foot through the sheet. “You are like my kid. And other times you’re like my mom. That’s what best friends do.”
I lowered my lashes, and she gave me the moment I needed. Looking away, I said, “Speaking of kids, how’s the girl? Did you visit the kennel, take her out for a walk?”
I was referring to the email asking her to keep an eye on Claire. I trusted Philip, but a little oversight never hurt anybody.
Her face screwed up. “Not exactly.”
“Not exactly, you didn’t check on her?”
“We didn’t just take her for a walk. We took her home.” At my alarmed look, she reassured me. “Nothing happened. They were driving each other crazy, and Philip asked Colin to watch her. So she came back to our house. It was completely safe. No one even knew she was there. You know Colin wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”
“I’m surprised he wanted to help Philip. Or that you did.”
“Hmm.” She paused, thoughtful. “I would have said I was doing it for her. But the truth is, I felt bad for him. I think he is really desperate for someone to love him.”
I glanced at Colin, who stood just outside the room, visible through the half-raised blinds. “Yeah, well, he can join the club.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Is that a confession I just heard? Do not give me that professional-working-relationship crap. Something must have happened between you and Luke.”
The corner of my lips tugged up.
“See? I knew it. Details. I need details. Let me just give Bailey to Colin, and then–”
“Wait a minute. If you have Claire, then where is she?”
Allie rolled her eyes. “She won’t come in. I think she’s scared, but of course she won’t tell me. Also, remind me to send Bailey to a convent when she hits puberty. Teenagers are exhausting.”
“Send her in.”
“I’m telling you, she won’t come.”
“Tell her if she doesn’t get her butt in here, I’m going to come out there myself. I have stitches and a hangnail here, so basically I might die. Does she want that on her conscience?”
“Okay.” Allie dropped a kiss on my forehead and dragged a disgruntled Bailey into her arms. “You know, I expected Colin to be annoyed, having a teenaged girl around, but he doesn’t seem to mind. I think he even leaves little stashes of cash for her to find. When she pitches a fit, he just shrugs it off. And then I realized he does the same thing to me.”
I snorted. “Trust me, he does not see the two of you the same way.”
“Oh, I know. I’m just saying, men will surprise you if you give them the chance.”
“Subtle.”
“When someone’s as thickheaded as you…”
“Yes, all right. I’m working on it. See, I’m not denying there’s a possibility for me and Luke. We could be together. Stranger things have happened.” I grinned. “Though I can’t think of any at the moment.”
“Not strange,” Allie said. “You’re not Shelly’s past and Luke’s job. You’re just a man and a woman in love. Love is the great equalizer.”
I was quiet for a moment. “That was deep. Oprah?”
She shrugged. “Saw it stitched on a throw pillow.”
Allie left the room, and a few minutes later, a waif dressed in black lurked outside the door. Finally, Claire slunk inside. She looked nice in jeans and a loose sweater. Her hair had been cut so it didn’t fall into her eyes, though she tried to reproduce the effect by hanging her head. I admitted to myself that Allie had been a better caretaker for her even if I hadn’t wanted to involve her. Claire wouldn’t meet my eyes.