Barbara looked at Beka, studying her demeanor and posture. “And I’m not buying that ‘I’m fine’ shit, just in case you were wondering. You look terrible.” She bit her lip. “I mean, you look tired and depressed. Liam says I need to be less blunt with other people, but you’re a Baba—I’m not sure that counts.”
Beka choked on a laugh. She didn’t get to spend much time with either of her fellow Babas, but she liked them both. Barbara’s sharp tongue was part of her charm. And at least it meant you didn’t have to play any games with her.
“I’ll admit, things have been a little tough,” Beka said. “This is my first big solo job since Brenna left, and I’m kind of feeling like I’m in over my head. Brenna actually came to visit me recently and suggested that I resign and let her take over.” It was the first time she’d said the words out loud, and they sounded weighty and final, like a heavy door closing with a thud.
“Did she?” Barbara said. “That explains a lot.” She chewed on fingernail thoughtfully. “And are you considering it? Resigning, I mean.”
Beka shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I’d already been thinking that maybe this wasn’t the life for me.” She pointed down at the water, where Babs was splashing around in the shallow waves on the shore, a faint smile adorning her normally solemn face. “I keep thinking that I’d like to have a kid of my own.” Her heart contracted at the sight, feeling as though there were slivers of jagged rock piercing her to her core. “It will be years before I’m advanced enough to be training someone like you are.”
“That’s true,” Barbara said. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to have children in your life. Every Baba’s path is different. To be honest, I put it off as long as I could, thinking I would be as bad with kids as my mentor was. But as it turns out, I really like having Babs around.” She gave a rueful grin. “Of course, it helps that I have Liam. He’s really great with her. With both of us.”
Beka stifled any thoughts of Marcus, trying not to picture him in Liam’s place, laughing and playing in the sunlit waters. “I’m really glad you found him,” she said.
“Me too,” Barbara said. “Is there anyone special in your life?”
Yes. No. Maybe. “It’s complicated,” Beka said.
Barbara snorted. “You’re a Baba Yaga. It always is.”
They sat in companionable silence for a moment, and then Beka asked, “Did you ever consider walking away before it was final? Being a Baba, I mean.”
Barbara gave her a startled look. “And give up magic? Never.” She narrowed her amber eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re really thinking about quitting—that’s crazy.”
“Brenna said—”
“Screw Brenna,” Barbara said, scowling at her friend. “She was way out of line saying you should resign, and you know it.”
“But—”
“There are no buts here, Beka,” Barbara said, “other than the big, fat, hippie butt I’d like to kick into next week. For one thing, retired Baba Yagas don’t ever get to come back. There’s a reason they retire, and it usually has to do with them being too old or too crazy to do the job anymore. Or too dead, I suppose, but that’s another issue. For another thing, all Babas struggle with their first assignments on their own. I did, and Bella did; that’s the nature of the job. You’ll do fine in the end, I promise.”
A tiny blip of hope felt like a hiccup in Beka’s chest. “Really? You felt overwhelmed by your first task too?”
Barbara threw back her head and laughed so loud, Liam glanced up the beach at her and smiled quizzically. She waved at him before turning her attention back to Beka. “Honey, during my first solo task, I blew up a volcano. The very volcano I was supposed to stop from erupting, in fact.”
“Holy crap,” Beka said, feeling perversely better. “What happened?”
“After it blew up, it stopped erupting,” Barbara said. “Problem solved. There was just a bigger mess to clean up than I’d planned on.” She put one arm around Beka’s shoulders, awkwardly but kindly. “You’re going to be fine. I don’t care what Brenna said. She wouldn’t have chosen you to train as her replacement if you didn’t have what it took to be a Baba Yaga. You just need to have a little faith in yourself.”
Beka sighed. “That’s not always easy.”
Barbara shook her head. “If it were easy, everybody would do it. And you’re not everybody; you’re a Baba Yaga. That’s way better.”