He sat down at her feet, so large that his eyes were almost on a level with hers, even in that position. “Are you worrying about cleansing the trench? That should be a piece of cake now.”
Beka laughed. “I don’t know about a piece of cake, but I spent most of the night looking through some of my basic spells and figuring out how to adapt them for this, and prepping something special to use to contain the radiation. I’m actually feeling pretty confident.”
Chewie raised a furry eyebrow. “Well, that makes for a nice change. And it’s about time. So what’s the matter?” He cocked his head and gazed at her in the diffuse light of the single lamp she’d left on. “You look sad. Are you sad?”
She clenched her fingers together, feeling foolish, and stared at the floor instead of meeting his eyes. “You’re going to think I’m crazy,” she muttered.
“So what else is new?” the dog asked, head-butting her knee until she met his eyes. “Spill it, sister.”
“You watch too much TV,” she said. “Listen to you talk.”
“Hmph, Listen to you not talk. Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or not?”
“It’s about being a Baba Yaga,” she said.
Chewie dropped to the floor with a thump, hiding his head under his paws. “If you’re going to start in on that bit about not knowing if you are good enough, or thinking maybe you don’t want to be a Baba anymore, I swear to Belobog, I am going to gnaw off my own ears so I don’t have to listen.”
“Nice to know I can always count on you for sympathy, big guy,” Beka said with an ironic chuckle. “And in fact, no, that’s not it. Kind of the opposite.”
“Huh?” He picked himself up again, apparently done with being a dragon drama queen for the moment. “Color me confused.”
Beka didn’t blame him. She was confused as hell herself. That was part of the problem.
“If I’ve learned anything these last few weeks, it is just how much I do want to be a Baba Yaga,” she said. “Coming so close to losing it really made me see that this is what I was meant to do. As much as I’d like to have a child of my own, I realized I can help so many more children if I am a Baba. And I even think I might be good at it, with a little less avoiding trouble and a little more practice.”
Chewie snorted. “I don’t think you need to worry about avoiding trouble. It always seems to find you if you’re a Baba Yaga.” He tilted his head. “You’re not still worrying about the Queen taking away the job and giving it back to Brenna, are you? Because last I heard, Queen Morena still wants to ask her some pointed questions about the possibility she was working with Kesh, and no one has seen hide nor frizzy hair of her. Besides, you’ve already cured the sick sea people and captured Kesh. Once you cleanse the Merpeople and Selkie’s home in the trench you will have done everything the Queen asked of you. You should be fine.”
Beka took a deep breath, feeling as though her heart were breaking in two. The air felt too thick, and gravity too heavy. “I don’t think I’ll ever be fine again, Chewie. I’ve done something really stupid.”
His eyes widened. “You didn’t lose the freaking Water of Life and Death again, did you? I’ve only been gone for a few hours!”
Beka laughed, sniffling at the same time. “No, no. The Water is safe and sound, locked up in the cupboard where it belongs.”
“Holy Hekate,” the dog said. “If I weren’t immortal, you probably would have given me a heart attack. So what have you done that is so stupid?”
She bit her lip. “I fell in love.”
“And this is bad how?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Beka kicked him lightly with one bare foot. It hurt her foot, as usual. You’d think she’d learn. “I’m in love with Marcus. I realized it earlier, when I saw him coughing up blood.”
“How romantic,” Chewie said sarcastically. “You’re even weirder than I thought.”
“You know what I mean,” she said. “While the fight with Kesh and his followers was going on, I was mostly too busy trying to stay alive to worry about Marcus. Besides, he’s the toughest guy I’ve ever known. It mostly didn’t even occur to me to be concerned until after it was all over, and then he seemed to be okay, other than some relatively superficial wounds.”
Beka gritted her teeth, remembering the moment when she’d looked up and seen the ominous sign. Even now, her stomach flip-flopped in horror. “Then I saw him coughing up blood and knew he was really hurt. And it hit me that I couldn’t even imagine living in a world that didn’t have him in it. I love him, Chewie. I love him so much it makes my heart hurt.”