“I trusted you, Leo.” The way her face scrunched up in sadness and anger was like a punch to his gut. “You let me trust you.”
He stood from the bed, shoved his hands in his pockets so he wasn’t tempted to reach for her, and walked toward her. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I see…”
Her lip quivered, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and comfort her, but he knew she wouldn’t allow it right now.
“So you willingly planned to seduce my cousin and ruin her chance for a decent marriage. What was the wager?”
“First man on top won my breeding mare from the Americas.” He cringed at his own wording for that. There were a million other more appropriate ways to phrase it.
She came forward and struck him across the face so hard with her open palm that his head whipped to the side. He’d seen it coming, but really, how could he dare stop her? He deserved that and so much more for the damage he had contemplated doing.
“How dare you,” she said. “How dare you lie to me all this time. I can’t believe I trusted you. How stupid am I?”
He couldn’t keep from touching her, he reached out to hold both her arms in his hands, but she yanked away from him. “Have I done you any wrong so far?”
Looking into her sad eyes, knowing he was the cause of her sorrow, he felt as if his heart were pierced in two.
“You have,” she said.
“I meant everything I said to you yesterday. Everything, Genny.”
“I can only imagine what you thought on seeing me again. You probably thought to have a good go and get the better of me, didn’t you?”
When he didn’t respond, she said it more loudly, “Didn’t you!”
“Believe me, Genny, I never wanted to hurt you.”
Tears flooded her eyes again. “But you have.”
He watched as she fought to keep those tears at bay, her mouth quivering and on the verge of sobs.
He had done this to her. He had made her a miserable wreck.
Was there any way to make her change her opinion of him? He doubted it as he watched those damnable tears finally spill over the rims of her eyes and slide down her cheeks.
He had been the sole cause of her sorrow. Her hatred.
And he deserved it.
She turned away, giving him her back as she wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her robe. “How did I ever trust you? For even a moment, how could I dare let my guard down?”
It wasn’t a question she wanted an answer to; yet, he needed to give her more. “I asked you to trust me, Genny. What reason should you have not to?”
“Because…” Her voice caught on another sob. “Because you made me believe that there was more than just a liaison between us. That you genuinely cared about me.”
“Tell me how I can fix this?”
She turned back to him with tear-swollen eyes, her cheeks damp. “You can never make this better.”
When he reached for her to pull her into his arms, she stepped away.
“There has to be a way.”
“You have to leave, Leo.” She shook her head back and forth. “I can’t see you ever again. I never want to see you again.”
“There has to be something…”
“There is nothing between us now.” She pulled the ring and chain off over her head and balled it up in her fist. “I don’t know how you thought I could forgive you for this. I can’t. Not now. Not ever.”
“We have three days left.” That was three days to convince her that his feelings for her were genuine and that he would make up for the wrong he’d done for the rest of his days if that was the only way she could forgive him.
“If you respect me, have any feelings toward me … you’ll go back to London and leave me to live my life out alone.”
He shook his head. No, he’d never leave her. “Because I care a great deal for you, I cannot abide by your wishes.”
She wiped away the wetness on her cheeks with the back of her hand. “You can and you must.” She held out her fist with the ring he’d given her.
“It’s yours.” He didn’t want it back. Taking it from her meant a life without Genny. He stepped away from it. “It’s my promise to you.”
She turned her hand palm down and let the necklace and ring fall to the carpeted floor. “You are nothing to me.”
He did not believe her harsh words when they were accompanied by a fresh deluge of tears.
“You have ruined any possibility of a future between us.” She sounded broken.
“Genny,” he said, feeling more helpless as the minutes wore on and he made no progress in convincing her to stay and work this out with him.
“Don’t.” She held up her hand and visibly swallowed back another torrent of tears. “I don’t want to see you here in the morning.”
“You’ll feel differently after a night’s rest.” She was understandably upset right now. But she’d told him she loved him—that had to count for something.
“How dare you think that I would so easily brush away a plot against my cousin! All you have proven is that I’m a fool for ever trusting you again.”
She stormed past him in a flurry of rage, but he caught her arm before she could turn the door latch to leave without giving him so much as an option to make this better. He needed to fix the wrong he’d created.
“Genny … you can’t leave like this.”
She pulled out of his grasp, glaring at her arm and his hand as though he’d burned her with a hot iron.
“I never want to lay eyes upon you or your friends again. And if you are here come morning, I will take it to mean that your intentions to play with my cousin’s feelings and life are still strong. And that I simply cannot abide. We are no longer lovers and certainly no longer friends, Barrington.” She put her chin up defiantly. “From this point forward you are dead to me.”
He was clenching his jaw so tightly that it cracked. “I refuse to give you up so easily.”
“I will find a way to publicly expose your deed if you don’t. And I will make sure that your friend Jezebel is never invited to another social event so long as I am in London. I might only be a lowly paid companion, but I do have friends in high places that can make life difficult for your friend.”
“I understand that you are upset, Genny, but at least give me time to make this up to you. I couldn’t be honest before now. And after everything we’ve been through these past few weeks, I had hoped that you could at least forgive me my transgressions.”
“To forgive you would mean that I condone your behavior, but I would never tolerate any actions that could intentionally harm another. You don’t know me at all if you thought that this could be easily brushed under the carpet like yesterday’s dust.”
He put his hands up in surrender and stepped away from her. Nothing would be won tonight. Not when she was this upset. He’d find her in the morning and try again.
“Tell me what to do, Genny?”
“I want you gone from my life.” The defeat was so palpable in her voice that he barely managed to take her in his arms to offer her any comfort he could.
He searched for any possibility of forgiveness in her eyes. There was nothing there but disappointment … sadness, too.
“I will not leave.”
“If you ever cared for me … if you ever loved me, you’ll do as I bid.”
She turned away from him again and walked through the door without so much as a look back in his direction. Leo followed her into the hall and made sure no one watched her enter her private chambers.
When he was sure she was safely ensconced in her room, he leaned back against the inside of his closed chamber door. He’d known she would be angered by his deception. Why he’d expected anything less than what had just transpired between them was beyond him.
He still had tomorrow to convince her that he hadn’t meant to harm her or her cousin. He would find a way to make this up to her.
Leo’s head lightly thunked against the door behind him and he rubbed at his face with a heavy sigh. He’d really messed this up. He wasn’t sure how to make it better, but he had to because he loved her.
Chapter 20
What do you suppose will happen if you toss a debutante, a man with only his charm and his father’s undistinguished title to rely upon, and a distinguished member of high society all in a bowl as if they were a sticky, messy, commingling trifle? What a love triangle you create.
The Mayfair Chronicles, August 5, 1846
What a terrible muddle this was. How had she ever trusted him, or given in to him, or ever adored and fallen in love with him? She flung her arm over her eyes to block out the light from the morning sun.
A very small part of her stupidly wished he’d ignored her explicit wishes yesterday. What was wrong with her? The man had set out to ruin her cousin’s chance at marrying a decent man with a decent title. Thank goodness he had told her before anything more serious could develop in their budding relationship.
Who was she fooling?
Something very serious had happened between them. They’d promised themselves to each other. They’d made firm plans to marry.
She let out a frustrated groan and covered her face with both arms. What did she have to be ashamed of? She’d done nothing wrong, aside from sleep with and fall in love with a man she promised herself years ago that she would wipe from her memory. She needed to pull herself together.