Wicked Beat (Sinners on Tour #4)(39)

"But he was backstage with us the entire time. I saw him."

In her gut, she knew it had been him, but she was sure Eric wouldn't lie about seeing Marcus backstage. Eric didn't lie about anything.

"Can you recover the file?" he asked.

"Yeah. It will be damaged and I'll have to do some repair, but I think I remember the program and can fill in the missing code."

She had worked up a sweat by the time she was satisfied that the file was not corrupted and would work as it was supposed to when the time came for Sinners to play the song.

"Got it?" Eric asked. He'd stood there patiently the entire time, tolerating her swearing tirade without protest.

"Yeah. I'm not moving from this spot until the concert is over," she said.

Eric turned her to face him and brushed her hair from her face. "I was already impressed with your work this morning when you set up the sound equipment. Now I'm utterly amazed." 

He sought her lips and kissed her deeply.

"You're incredible," he said into her mouth. He drew her closer. Kissed her more deeply, stroking her tongue with his and sucking her lips with tender abandon. His hand cupped her breast and squeezed. This was totally the wrong place, but she wanted him fiercely. And she wanted to be straight with him. To tell him about herself. If he was going to keep coming back for more, she felt she owed it to him.

"Eric," she gasped and pulled away. He bent to nibble on her earlobe. She shuddered violently, her fingers digging into his hard chest. "Eric, not here."

"This is what I want to do to your clit right now," he whispered. He sucked on her earlobe and stroked it rapidly with the tip of his tongue.

"Oh God," she panted, her clit swelling in response.

"And your pussy." His tongue dipped into her ear.

Her pussy pulsed in response. "I need … " Oh, wow. "I need to tell you."

"Tell me?" The husky timbre of his voice had swollen, pulsing parts throbbing incessantly.

She nodded, still clinging to him and not really wanting him to stop his glorious assault on her ear, though he really should. They were standing in the middle of a stadium making out on a soundboard.

"About my s-sexual problem," she said.

"I don't see any problem. I sure as hell don't feel a problem."

"L-listen. O-okay?" On the verge of tears, she took a deep shuddering breath. "T-this is h-hard for me." Damn it. Why did she always stutter when she was upset? She hated it.

Eric stopped and gazed into her eyes. She really did feel like she could tell him anything. They'd known each other for less than two days, and yet …

"I have cancer," she blurted.

The blood drained from his face, and he swayed against her. "What?"

"I'm in remission now. Maybe it won't come back. Maybe it will. I can't know for sure."

"I think I need to sit down."

She pressed on. "I went t-through treatment. I'm not sick anymore. I fought it. I won. But … "

"Are you going to die?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"No. No! That's not why I'm telling you this. I'm fine. Really. I …  The reason … " She took a deep breath and forced herself to push on. "I don't feel comfortable having sex because …  I'm missing things. Inside."

"I don't understand."

"I had a hysterectomy."

"To save you from cancer?"

"Y-yes."

He hugged her until she feared her ribs would crack. "Good."

Good? There was nothing good about it. "I can never have children."

"So? As long as you're here, who cares about that stuff?"

A tear slipped down her cheek. She had to tell him all of it, because she knew for certainty that she wanted him-Eric-in her life. "It feels weird inside. For a guy, I mean. Isaac said … "

"Who's Isaac?"

"My boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend," she clarified quickly. "He wanted me to marry him, but I made him wait to propose until the cancer was gone. He stayed by my side the entire time. Through the treatments and the surgery. The radiation and the healing process. He waited for me to get better, and then afterward, when we tried to, you know … " She blushed. Talking about ex-boyfriend sex with your hopefully new boyfriend was beyond weird.



       
         
       
        

"Do the horizontal mamba."

She laughed. "Yeah."

"But it was horrible, right?" he asked hopefully.

"Appalling," she said truthfully. "He said it felt weird when he was inside. It was so unsettling for him that he couldn't even keep an erection. He said he couldn't bring himself to do it with me anymore. Ever again."