But if it was back, they hadn't beat it. Not really. "I feel fine," she said breathlessly. Well, she had. Now she felt devastated. She'd found true love, true happiness, and her body had betrayed her again.
"It might be nothing. Let's do the biopsy and see what we have to deal with before we talk about treatment options."
She nodded and somehow found the strength to climb to her feet and shuffle out of his office. The nurse told her where she should go for her biopsy, and then she went to find Eric in the waiting room. He looked almost as nauseous as she felt.
"What's wrong?"
She shook her head. "I need another test," she said breathlessly. She couldn't tell him why. She just couldn't.
"Why?"
"Because," she snapped. "Doctors like to stick long, thick needles into my body, that's why!"
"I have something long and thick I'd like to stick into your body."
She knew that he was trying to cheer her up, but it wasn't working. "Just shut up, Eric. I'm not in the mood."
He looked like she'd slapped him. "Sorry."
She squeezed her forehead between both hands, trying to stave off a threatening headache. "Let's just go get this over with."
They made Eric wait outside while they used some kind of machine to direct the needles they jabbed her with while collecting their samples. When they left her alone, she laid there on the examination table, staring at the ceiling to fight threatening tears. They told her they'd have the results of the biopsy soon. Didn't want her to leave in case they had to poke her some more. Her doctor had ordered her biopsy evaluation STAT, and there was a qualified pathologist on duty. At least she wouldn't have to wonder for long.
The door opened and Eric appeared in the doorway. "Are you decent?"
"Unfortunately," she muttered.
"I'm supposed to say that," he said, settling beside her on the padded table. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. They sat there silently for a long while. "Are you okay?" he asked finally.
She shook her head, blinking hard, her lips pursed.
"Tell me, baby. Not knowing what's going on has to be worse than the truth."
"Worse than the cancer being back? I'd rather not know."
"It's back?" he whispered.
"I don't know. They found a suspicious spot on the MRI so they did a biopsy to see if it's cancer."
"Everything will be all right, sweetheart," he said.
She glared at him. "If the cancer has relapsed, nothing is all right, Eric. Nothing."
"I'm here," he said. "Okay? You beat this once. You can do it again."
"I don't want to go through chemotherapy again, Eric. It makes me so tired. I'll be all sick and skinny. All my hair will fall out. I won't be beautiful anymore." She squeezed her eyes and swallowed. "Or sexy."
Eric cupped her face in both hands, his thumbs stroking the tears from her cheeks. "Look at me, Rebekah."
She forced her eyes open.
"You know I think your outer package is perfect," he said, "but what's beautiful about you is in here." He pressed the fingertips of one hand to the center of her chest over her aching heart. He moved his other hand to the side of her head. "What's sexy is in here." He kissed her forehead, her temple. "I said I'd love you forever, baby. That doesn't mean I abandon you when you're sick. If you're too tired to get out of bed, I'll carry you. If your hair falls out, I'll … " He grabbed the long strand of purple resting against his collarbone. "I'll cut this off and tape it to your forehead."
She laughed, picturing herself with one long chunk of purple hair taped to her bald head.
"If you're sick, I'll take care of you. If you're skinny, I'll feed you every flavor of scrambled eggs you can imagine."
"Okay, you've gone too far with that one."
"What I won't do is let you give up. I won't bury you without a fight, Rebekah. And you're going to have to do all the fighting, sweetheart. You have to be the strong one. All I can do is hold your hand and stand beside you."
A movement behind Eric caught Rebekah's attention. Her mother stood there with tears in her eyes. Mom grabbed Eric around the neck and hugged his head against her ample bosom. Rebekah laughed at his startled expression.
"How long have you been here?" Rebekah asked her mother.
Her mom smiled. "Long enough. Doctor Palmer told me you were down here and could probably use some support while you waited for your results." She grabbed Eric by both ears and pulled him away from her chest to look at him. "I'm sorry I didn't realize how much you love my daughter. I get … confused sometimes. I can see you now." She ruffled his wild hair with both hands. "Not just the crazy hair and the tattoos, but what's inside."