Wicked Beat (Sinners on Tour #4)(111)

As if she could forget how unattractive he'd made her feel. "But that's not because I'm not sexy or because my body feels weird inside, it's because … " For the first time, she realized her body wasn't the problem. It never had been. She jerked her hand out of his and jumped to her feet to glare at him. "How could you do that to me?"

"Do what?"

"Make me feel so sexually unappealing! Talk about a major mind fuck, Isaac. If it weren't for Eric, I'd still think I had nothing to offer a man in the bedroom. I thought there was something wrong with me. That my body was disgusting."

"I thought there must be something wrong with you. I wanted to be attracted to you, Rebekah. I just …  wasn't. And I couldn't …  I couldn't force myself to have sex with you after the surgery. I tried. Mentally, I had convinced myself that I needed to. Physically? I couldn't even maintain an erection. I really did think it was because of your surgery."

"It never occurred to you that I wasn't the problem?"

"Did that occur to you?" he asked.

She lowered her eyes. "Well, no, actually. You've always been so …  so …  well, perfect."

"That's a pretty hard label to live up to."

The turmoil in his eyes made her cringe. She wasn't even mad at him anymore. She emitted a loud sigh. "You must be struggling to come to terms with this. When did you realize?"

"Last night."

"Thank you for confiding in me. I'm sure that wasn't easy." She sat beside him again and wrapped an arm around his back. He leaned against her for support, and they sat there for a long while, silently offering strength to one another. He'd done this so many times when she'd been sick. Just offered his presence so she never felt alone. She was happy to offer him this bit of comfort in return.

"Rebekah?" he said quietly. "I need to ask you a favor. Will you do something for me?"



       
         
       
        

She stroked the loose waves from his forehead with one hand. "Of course."

"My father is having a big dinner party next week. All the physicians from the clinic will be there. The entire staff too. He didn't say specifically, but I think he's going to ask me to join the practice full time. In front of everyone." He took her hand and clung to it. "I was hoping …  would you go with me? We could pretend … "

"Isaac … "

"We could pretend that we're still a couple, and then after he makes the announcement, I'll tell him about … " He took a deep shuddering breath. "I need time to come to terms with this, and if you're there, I won't get all the regular questions."

"The regular questions?"

"When are you going to settle down, son? Are you ever going to get married? I already had two kids by the time I was your age. Don't you think you need to start having a family?" he said in a pretty good impression of his father's deep voice. "You know. The regular questions."

She understood exactly where he was coming from, and she was tempted to say yes, but she wasn't sure how Eric would feel about her pretending to be Isaac's woman. Even if it was only for one evening. "I have to ask Eric," she said.

Isaac cringed. "He hates me. He'll never go for it."

"You have been acting like an ass lately," she said. "Can you blame him for not understanding how we can be friends?"

"Sorry."

She kissed his temple. "I forgive you. This time."

"You're good to me, Reb. Sometimes I wish …  Sometimes I wish you were a guy," he said.

Rebekah laughed. "I've always been sort of a tomboy. Maybe that's why you thought you loved me." She glanced at the clock radio beside the bed and her heart sank. "Oh crap, I was supposed to meet Eric an hour ago. He's probably worried."

She pulled out her phone and found that it was turned off. She tried to turn it on, but the battery was dead. "Shit. He's probably been trying to call me. Can I use your phone?"

"Of course."

She climbed to her feet and kissed him on the temple. "I'm here for you, you know. Just like you were there for me when I needed you during my treatments."

He groaned and fell back on his bed. "Stop being so nice to me. You're making me feel like a complete jerk." 

She chuckled. "Good. Maybe you'll remember that the next time you act like a selfish asshole."

He chuckled. "When did you become so blunt?"

"Recently. And I like it."