Wicked(116)

"It's okay. You need to stay in this bed. Just for a little longer. You were hurt pretty badly, Ivy." His hands lingered.

"But . . ." I glanced around the room, seeing that we were alone. "But the knights—the prince, they got out."

He shook his head. "Strangely, it wasn't the giant apocalypse that we thought it would be. The Order—what's left of the Order—has been on patrol every night since then. We haven't seen a single knight or that motherfucker. David and a few are heading to Flux tonight, but I have a feeling they aren't going to find anything there."

My thoughts were sluggish, trying to follow what he was saying. "That doesn't make sense."

"No, not really, but wherever they are, whatever they're doing, they are in hiding." He smiled at me, but the act didn't reach his green eyes. "We were able to get the gate closed again."

I let that sink in, but what stayed at the forefront of my thoughts was what he'd said. What's left of the Order. "How many did we lose?"

Ren cast his gaze to the side, the muscle along his jaw working. "Sixteen."

Oh my God, I couldn't even . . . I squeezed my good eye shut. The rising sorrow nearly made me wish I was still swimming in that darkness. "Have you all found her . . . Val?" It hurt even saying her name.

"No. No one has seen her either, not even her family."

God, what had she done? My thoughts roamed back to seeing her at headquarters. "She was carrying something, Ren. She went there for a reason. She had something covered in black."

Ren nodded slowly. "I know. Remember Merle mentioning some kind of crystal? David had one stored in a room on the third floor, among other weird shit. I don't know what the importance of the crystal is." He looked away, his shoulders rising with a deep breath. "David hasn't said what the hell it is, and I have no idea."

I thought about the room that David never allowed anyone in, but how had Val known it was there? To be honest, I'd forgotten about the crystal the moment I learned about halflings.

"I figured Merle might know, but I haven't . . . well, to be honest, I haven't really cared about that right now. I've only cared about you," he said, and my gaze drifted over him. His brows furrowed as he wrapped his hand around my left one and squeezed gently. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I want to kill her for doing that."

Yeah, I didn't want to hear that.

"You could've died and I—" He cut himself off, and when I reopened my eye, he was staring at the space near me, at the monitor. "I wouldn't know what to do."

My breath hitched. "I'm . . . I'm here." It sounded lame, but it was all I could say.

His gaze flicked to mine. "You are, but you should have never had to face the prince—any of that. What were you thinking?" He swallowed. "Going after him was like putting a loaded gun to your head."

"It was my duty."

He shook his head slowly. "It was suicidal. You're incredibly brave, Ivy. You're strong and courageous, but that was insane, and I wish you never had to face that."

I wished that too. My thoughts floated back to headquarters, and I wondered if I'd ever be able to walk in there again and not think about fighting the prince or what he said.

Halfling.

A shudder rolled through me. Did the prince think I was a halfling? There was no way—no way. An ancient had been near me when I bled before, but . . . but the prince had been right on me when he sensed it.

He'd tasted my blood.

"Hey, let's not talk about any of this." Ren brushed his lips across my temple. "Okay?"

But I had to ask. "Do you think she was compelled? Val?"

"I don't know, Ivy. It's possible, but . . ."

I suddenly wanted to cry. The likelihood of her being compelled was slim. Compulsions didn't last forever unless they were feeding on her, and if that was the case, she was probably already too far gone.

She was already gone.

Without asking, I knew orders to bring Val in had been placed by the Order, and it would be a dead or alive sort of thing. Mostly dead. Because other Order members would be gunning for her ass. Her betrayal hurt just as badly as the prince opening a can of whoop ass on me.

Ren swept his thumb over my hand, and I forced a smile even though it wasn't the most pleasant of all feelings. "How bad do I look?" I asked.

"You never looked better."

"You're such a liar. I can feel how much of a hot mess I am right now."

He raised my hand to his lips and kissed the center of my palm. "You're here. I don't care how you look. Not when I thought I'd lost you."

My heart expanded in my chest, and I almost—almost—said those three little words. Our gazes collided and held. "Did you think you'd get rid of me that easily?"