At night, she fell asleep alone, but some point throughout the night he’d join her. She’d wake in the morning with his arms wrapped around her. Lacey hated how much she loved sleeping beside him. She felt like a traitor to the club if she gave into him. The Savage Brothers deserved something better than her giving into Whizz.
He stopped you from dying.
She cut all thought off. Thinking about Whizz and what he did left her feeling thankful as well as guilty. Her club should have known to get out of town. Instead they waited for her to do what she always did, and look what happened. They’d died because she needed to see Whizz one more time. After they ran out of the town hall she’d gone back home with Dalton and Danny. She’d packed her bags but then headed to the door. For some reason she couldn’t bring herself to leave Butch at the mercy of the club. She’d been there long enough to see The Skulls’ anger directed at the brother. Dalton had begged her to walk away, but she’d told him she couldn’t. Butch had been one of them at some point, and she couldn’t leave him to take the fall.
Both men agreed to wait until she got back. After she told the truth she’d waited for Whizz, followed him back to the clubhouse. Her own selfishness was what killed the club. She had needed one more chance to see Whizz. If only she could have one more glimpse of him, and for him not to hate her then she would have been fine. What she wanted, needed, had killed the club.
The guilt was unlike anything she’d ever felt before, and she’d been through a lot of crap to get to where she was today. Her pussy was on fire from Whizz’s touch. She hated him yet craved his touch as if she was starving for it.
Standing up, she moved away from the bed going through to his bathroom. His bathroom was covered in black tiles. The only splash of color was from the light and silver of the fixings within the bathroom.
She flicked the switch, lighting up the bathroom. There was no window for her look out of. The bedroom only had one window that overlooked the front of the compound. She’d stood behind the curtain watching the kids play when they’d been at the clubhouse. Eva spent a great deal of time at the clubhouse as did the other women. She was surprised by how much of a family they were. No one was turned away even when the sweet-butts appeared. Her club never had a clubhouse or sweet-butts. She wasn’t a fool. She knew Dalton and Danny, along with all of the other men, took their pleasure in the women on the road. They’d moved around so often she couldn’t even think of a place where they put down roots. Fort Wills was the longest time they stayed in one place. She’d not celebrated Christmas since she was a kid.
Lacey stared at her reflection. Dropping her head forward she saw her natural brown hair was starting to show through. She’d have to ask Whizz to get her a hair dye.
Pushing hair off her face, she stared at her reflection. With Whizz knowing the truth she didn’t need to cover the ink that decorated her arms.
Glancing down at her wrists, she touched the mark on her left wrist. It had been a pathetic attempt, but when she’d been digging into her skin, she truly wanted to die.
She released her hands to hold onto the edge of the sink. Closing her eyes she tried to force all the memories out of her head, but it wasn’t going to happen.
****
Lacey, age sixteen
Opening her eyes to the beeping of the machine, Lacey groaned, turning her head this way and that. Lifting her hands to her face, she frowned as they felt hard to the touch. Pulling her hand away she saw they were bound in white bandages.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Dalton asked, drawing her attention to beside her bed. He sat in the chair with his hands clasped together in between his legs.
“What?”
His eyes were red as if he’d been crying. Dalton was tall and had yet to fill out. She always felt that, when it came to him, a good wind would knock him over.
“You know what. What the fuck were you thinking, Lacey? You were just going to die on me?”
Guilt ate at her. The truth was, she hadn’t even given him a thought. She just wanted it to end. Night after night she went to sleep dreaming the same thing, remembering the same pain. She couldn’t have kids because of mistakes her parents made and those of the Savage Brothers.
“Do you even care about me at all?” he asked, standing to his feet.
She didn’t want to deal with this. “Where’s Danny?” Her throat was so dry her words came out croaked.
“Why? So you can get him to get rid of me? I’m not going anywhere, Lacey. I refuse to.” He lifted her hand up for her to see. “You could have died.”
“So?”
“So?” Tears filled his eyes and started to fall. “What do you mean so? You can’t mean that.”
“It hurts all the time, Dalton. I can’t sleep through the night without waking up in fear. The door knocks, and I get scared. I pass men who walk like they did, and I get scared.”
“Do you think I don’t get scared? I was there. I saw what those fucking animals did to you.”
“It’s all you see.”
He reached out to touch her face, but she couldn’t handle his touch.
“Lacey?”
“I just wanted it to stop.”
Dalton touched her face, forcing her to look at him. “If you take your life and I’m not there in time to save you, I’ll follow you.”
She gasped. “What?”
“You heard me. If I can’t save you then I’ll join you.”
Lacey shook her head. “You wouldn’t.”
“I would. I’m not going to live this life without you. I carried you to the hospital. I helped bring you back. I’m responsible for you, and I’m not going to turn my back on you.”
****
Pulling out of the memory, Lacey collapsed to her knees on the floor. She couldn’t do it if it was reversed. Lacey was weak as she didn’t want to die enough to join the man who’d saved her at every turn. At thirty years old, there was no one she loved, yet she craved the touch of a man who’d taken it all away. She covered her face, shame consuming her, and she curled up in a ball in the hope of keeping all the bad memories away.
Chapter One
Whizz entered the kitchen to find Angel standing at the stove with Eva working around her. Six children sat at the large table throwing food at each other. He ducked as a maple syrup covered pancake was launched past his head.
“Tabitha, stop it,” Eva said, going red in the face.
Miles started laughing, as did Anthony. Simon, Tate’s son, was avidly watching the chaos unfolding.
“You said they’d eat the pancakes,” Angel said, looking guilty.
“I thought they would.”
“Simon!” Tabitha screamed the name.
“What’s going on?” Whizz said.
Michael, Alex’s son, was sitting in the corner eating his pancakes. The little guy looked so sad. Alex sat beside his son trying to talk to him. No one answered Whizz’s question. Seconds passed with the noise getting louder than ever. Whizz was just about to leave when Michael scraping back his chair brought the noise to a stop.
“I hate you!” he yelled at Alex before storming off. The rest of the kids finally decided to be quiet as Eva glared at all of them. Alex slumped down in his seat, looking defeated.
“What was that about?” Whizz asked, deciding to stay away from the kids and frazzled women.
“Not a lot.” Alex was staring at the door the boy had vacated.
“You’re telling me that attitude is because of nothing?” Whizz took a seat beside the other man. Alex had become a father unexpectedly a year ago. None of the club knew that he’d been with a woman until Cheryl started dating Butch. Alex hadn’t claimed her, but he’d become a father to Michael. In some strange way their dynamic worked. Whizz didn’t know how it was working with Butch in hospital recovering from his wounds.
“He wants to visit Butch. I don’t want him anywhere near Butch. Cheryl and I aren’t talking right now. She blames me for everything that went down.” He ran fingers through his hair. Alex suddenly looked old. The other man had a part within the club even though he’d been in Vegas for a great deal of time running a casino. Since finding out about his son, Alex had turned the casino over to a guy he trusted who ran the main bulk of their affairs. Alex did everything he could from Fort Wills.
“Why won’t you let him?” Whizz asked. Butch was still a stepfather to the kid and been in his life a little longer than Alex.
“Look, it was my idea him working for Gonzalez, okay? Tiny and I agreed it would help us. I didn’t tell him to start feeding information to the Savage Brothers. I thought they were fucking dead, wiped out by Gonzalez’s old man.” Alex leaned back in his chair, staring across the room at the other kids. “I don’t want him around Butch. How can we fucking trust him?”
Before Whizz could respond Cheryl charged into the room. She didn’t stop until she was in front of Alex. “How fucking dare you tell Michael he can’t see Butch?” She raised her hand and landed a slap across Alex’s face.
Whizz stood as Alex got to his feet. He’d never seen Alex lose it, but the way he was shooting fire at Cheryl, he looked ready to snap. The tension left from Gonzalez was still in the air.