Gash tilted his head to the side. “You’re not going to kill yourself anymore.”
“I’ve thought about it. I deserve it.”
“Why?”
She gritted her teeth, glaring at him.
“I’m not going to stop with my questions. You may as well answer them. From the look in your eye you’re back to feeling guilty again.”
“I was selfish. I wanted one more chance to see Whizz, and when I did, you all took out my club.” She stopped talking. Her hands were shaking. “I deserved to die with them. They died because of me.”
“You’ve got that guilt and blame down to a tee. You lived because of Whizz.” He leaned over the table to get close. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Angel and Prue were ordering their food. They were in a long queue, which left her alone with Gash. “If it wasn’t for him, you’d be dead along with those men. Your crew, the fuckers who thought they could mess in our town, would have gotten you killed.” He held his hand up to stop her from talking. “Did you agree with what they were doing?”
“It doesn’t matter if I agreed. I went along with them.”
“You didn’t agree with them. You, Lacey, you came to the hospital to make sure we didn’t kill Butch. You’re not like your club. Whatever guilt you’ve got, you have to let it go. It’s not worth it.”
“Why are you telling me this? Why are you trying to help me?” she asked. “I’m not part of the club.”
“I’m doing this to help Whizz. He deserves it. I’m helping him, and I see the way he is with you. I heard what the guys said from the moment you entered Whizz’s life. You’re both fucking broken, and together you can fix each other. Don’t feel guilty. Those men who thought they were getting revenge would have killed you eventually, not with their own gun, but by their own actions.”
He pulled away, smiling as the other two women placed the trays of food on the counter.
“Hey. We loaded up on everything,” Angel said, taking a seat beside her as Prue sat beside Gash.
Lacey picked up the burger filled with gherkins, sauce, tomatoes, and everything else. Taking a bite she savored the flavor as they all started to talk about what they needed to do when they got home. Would it be so wrong to let the guilt fade?
They killed your club.
Closing her eyes, she let out a moan to disguise the pain. No matter how many times she thought about what they did, she couldn’t hate Whizz. She didn’t know what she was going to do.
Chapter Seven
Whizz took his shot on the pool table. Tiny was playing in the games room while Eva cooked dinner for the club. Lash and Nash were arguing over cards. Steven watched the game, drinking a beer. Zero kept looking at his watch.
“Why aren’t you guys worried about your women?” Zero asked, giving into his frustration.
Glancing over at the clock on the far wall, Whizz saw it was only a little after four. Lacey had been gone for most of the day. He missed her, but he hoped she had fun. When he asked for her to live, he’d not planned to keep her a prisoner within his home. This was his home. He’d not gone and bought a place like the other members. He would look into getting a place later.
“Gash is with them. I’m sure they’re okay,” Lash said.
Sophia walked into the room going toward Nash. She wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss his cheek. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m fine. Rachel’s spending some time with Eva and the kids.”
Whizz took his shot, listening to the couple. Rachel was Nash and Sophia’s daughter. Unlike Lash and Killer, who had sons, Nash had been blessed with a daughter. Sophia was also pregnant with their second child but only a few weeks along.
“Can you believe he’s coming to town? I was talking to him the other day and not once did he tell me he planned a visit,” Tiny said.
“Ned does what he wants. He probably is just coming to check on his daughter and grandkids.” Whizz watched as Tiny took the shot. The ball was going too fast and smacked into the side only to careen the balls all over the table. His head wasn’t in the game.
“I don’t know. I’ve got the money I owe him back. Our funds have gone back to normal, thank fuck. Child services have also taken a step back. There’s nothing wrong with our kids,” Tiny said.
“Rachel had a rough night after going with child services. She wakes us up in the middle of the night now only to make sure we’re there. The bastards put the fear of God knows what into her,” Nash said.
“She’s getting better,” Sophia said. “It’s taking some time for her, but she’s getting there.”
Whizz was thankful he didn’t have any kids to worry about. Unlike most of the couples, they had kids who had been taken for one day and night before they were able to get them back. All of it was because of Gonzalez. Now Gonzalez was out of the picture, and all of their lives were returning to normal, or as close to normal as they could with Ned Walker coming for a visit.
Devil and the Chaos Bleeds crew were out of the picture as well. He’d helped them before he told Tiny that he’d given them a heads-up about Gonzalez knowing they were back in town. Whizz wouldn’t be responsible for anything happening to the other crew. He couldn’t live with himself if something did happen because of Tiny’s order. When he did tell Tiny what he did, Tiny had thanked him for acting right.
It was all water under the bridge.
“Ned is coming to see Eva and his grandkids, Tiny,” Lash said. “You shouldn’t worry, unless you’re scared he’ll kick your ass. He is older than you.”
“Not by much,” Nash said, chuckling.
“I can still wipe the floor with you two little shits. Don’t fucking start.”
Whizz laughed along with them.
“I heard you went to see Butch today,” Tiny said, changing the subject away from Ned.
“I did.”
“How’s he holding up?”
Whizz took his shot, thinking of the right way to answer. When he was done, he looked at Tiny. The rest of the men were also waiting for him to answer. “He was expecting a hit. I’ve told him we’re not going to kill him and I for one will be voting him back into the club.”
“You think he deserves to be voted back in.”
“What he did was no different than what Murphy did.”
“Murphy was acting on my orders and he didn’t have a secret club hiding away,” Tiny said.
“You’re going to kill him? He was acting on your orders, yours and Alex’s, to help the club. If you hadn’t put him in that position in the first place, we might have known about the Savage Brothers. They were his past. He fucked up, but I believe everything he said. Lacey told us what happened. You’ve got to believe him.” Whizz stopped talking as he looked at each of his brothers in turn. “You’re going to turn him away?”
Tiny let out a breath. “I hadn’t decided on what I was going to do. Nothing makes up for the fact that Butch has screwed up twice. He left the club for Cheryl, and now he fucked us over with the Savage Brothers. Out of all of us he was a loyal son of a bitch, but now, I just don’t know.”
“I don’t know what to think when it comes to Butch,” Nash said. “It’s all fucked up. Before Cheryl he was one of the most loyal brothers to the club, and now, I don’t know.”
“You took drugs and almost killed Eva because you were high. After you were clean, we voted you back in and you took the necessary beating. Butch, he fucked up, but he paid us back. He left the club out of fear of this life. The club life is not for everyone. We didn’t push him out, and he didn’t fuck up. Gonzalez was already a threat to the club before Butch came back. He gave us the location and set it up for us to take down the club. He paid us back, and you’re not going to take that into account? There’s a chance he can earn back his trust.” Whizz asked. “We’re a club. A family. We forgive.” He looked at each man in turn. Licking his lips, Whizz felt sick to his stomach. “We’ve got to keep Butch around. We’re not the people we are if we don’t, and I can’t remain a member if we start to cut people loose.”
They all looked at him in shock.
“You can’t be serious,” Tiny said. “Butch’s situation is different from everyone else’s. He got innocent people killed.”
“I know that, but he’s also a Skull. None of us know what he went through to get to this point. I don’t want to take my cut from a club who couldn’t forgive a brother. We all make mistakes, you included, Tiny. You were part of The Darkness in the beginning.” Whizz put the stick back on the table. He needed to calm down. It was important to him that they not push Butch aside. He was family, and family was what got Whizz through. “When I was taken and Alan was torturing me…” He stopped as the memory gripped him hard. Not once since his attack had he spoken aloud the truth of what happened to him. “When he was raping me, my only thought was of this club. I wouldn’t tell its secrets, and I wouldn’t doubt you in coming to get me. You’re a family at the heart of the club. Turn your back on Butch and I don’t see a reason to be part of what The Skulls have become. Butch came back to us. He lost his way, but he still came back. I understand he fucked up, but can’t we give him a chance? He made a mistake, and, yes, I agree that he should pay for what he did, but don’t you think giving away the location of your old club helped? We wiped out the club, Tiny. They’re not a threat anymore. We wiped them out. They were an entire generation of kids that survived an attack over twenty years ago.”