Whisper to Me(74)

“Johan?” My brain was having trouble catching up. “In Amsterdam?”

“Yeah, we’re heading back there in the fall,” he said, twirling a drumstick. “He feels bad, you know.”

I stopped fiddling with the equalizer on the amp. “About?”

He shrugged. “About losing you.”

“About losing me,” I said. What the hell? “Not about accusing me of something I hadn’t done?”

“Well, that, too,” he said, testing his kick petal. “But I don’t think he’s got the balls to admit it.”

“True. He didn’t seem to have any balls at all,” I said, gritting my teeth. “At least not when it came to his girlfriend.”

“He told me you were a brilliant sound guy,” he said. “That you got bands to push themselves, to make their demo shine.”

“That’s a cool compliment.” One that surprised me. Johan was always on my ass about one thing or another.

“Anyway, will you do it?” he asked, before giving the sound guy the thumbs up to begin the check. “Sit in on at least one number?”

I smirked, still thinking about Johan. Bloody bastard. “Sure.”

When I next looked up, Dakota, Shane, and Rachel were seated at a long table in the bar area. My parents headed from the direction of the office and greeted my sister and my friends. Mom hugged Rachel and sat down beside her.

I glanced away to play a few notes for the sound guy, but I felt Rachel’s gaze, so I looked up. It was apparent she and my mom were talking about me, gesturing, smirking, and laughing. I just grinned and shook my head.

A few minutes later, Cameron announced the first number, and I got lost in the music. That’s how it’d always been for me, no matter what kind of band I’d played in. It was like a release of endorphins and always so damn liberating.

The next time I looked out at the audience, the landscape had changed. The bar was packed and there were certainly more couples interspersed with the usual groups of rowdy guys and girls. My father seemed to be making the rounds, speaking to different tables. For all I knew, he was surveying them, asking if they were enjoying themselves.

When I searched for Rachel, my eyes immediately zeroed in on some dude in the seat next to her, running his mouth and motioning with his hands. I tried to keep my reaction neutral. I should have been surprised she hadn’t been hit on sooner. But maybe I’d been giving off a don’t-touch-her-she’s-mine vibe.

Dakota was watching me, so I motioned to Rachel and her admirer, and she wiggled her eyebrows. Must have been the co-worker she was talking about setting Rachel up with. I nodded my approval, even though it took everything in my power not to throw down my instrument and knock the dude on his ass.

Cameron leaned over to ask if I wanted to try out the tune I’d played for them in practice the other day. I’d written it during the sleepless nights in my room, instead of seeking out Rachel or smoking weed. I was the most sober I’d been probably in years and had written one of my favorite pieces in the process. Go figure. And though she’d never know it, I’d secretly named the song after Rachel.

“Sure,” I said. We had nothing to lose, playing something new in this venue. If you were a skilled musician, it was easy to cover up mistakes. You could adjust rather quickly, even if you hit a wrong note in the same scale.

I began by plucking the first few tones, and the band followed. My eyes stayed glued to my temporary band mates so they could follow my tempo changes if one of them strayed.

The song had more of a blues vibe to it, a bit of a departure for this band, but I could tell they liked it. It was earthy and soulful, and I even hummed a couple of words into the mic. The song was personal, only I knew the lyrics, but I thought we pulled it off pretty well.

It wasn’t until the number had finished and we stood to take a break between sets that I heard the applause. The bar was giving us a rousing hand, and my eyes landed on my father, whose face was lit up.

As I neared the table my family and friends were seated at, Shane clapped me on the back. “You guys sound good, man. Haven’t heard you play in years. Loved it.”

Dakota gave me a thumbs-up, and when my gaze clashed with Rachel’s, she had this faraway look in her eyes. The guy next to her was chattering away, but she wasn’t even paying attention to him. Her eyes were trained on me, which sent my stomach into a free fall.

Dakota broke in with introductions. “Kai, this is Andrew. He works in Accounts Payable.”

Andrew held out his hand, and I shook it. “Oh yeah, hey.”

He turned to say something to Shane, and my eyes landed on Rachel’s again.