We simply liked being around each other. Sure, it had transformed into something deeper on my end throughout her recovery. We’d grown so close during that time, speaking from our hearts, sharing our vulnerabilities. Hell, I told her shit that went down after my gigs or arguments I’d had with my parents that had fucked with my brain.
And somehow, letting her inside had been like a salve to my soul.
I was pretty sure our hookup was only supposed to be a one-night thing, despite my open invitation for more. And now she definitely knew I was attracted to her. But it needed to end there, unless she sought me out again.
After a brief and curt hello from my father near his office door, I stepped onto the floor to find Stuart. I walked past housekeeping services and got an overexuberant wave from Meadow. I kept moving, because after that lecture from Dakota, I didn’t want to give any women around here the wrong impression.
I found Stuart near the entrance to the lobby, and upon seeing me he gave a brisk nod to someone over my shoulder. I turned to see my father stepping back inside his office as if he’d been making sure I’d gotten to my destination. As if he’d been checking up on me. Sure, I’d gotten to work late a couple of times already, but it wasn’t because of smoking weed. I’d already begun to curb my habit, taking only two or three hits on the nights I wanted to unwind and write some new music.
The frustration must have shown on my face because Stuart patted my back and said, “Don’t let your father fool you. He was just like you back in the day.” He and Stuart had grown up together and had even gone to the same high school.
“Somehow I have a hard time believing that,” I said, taking in how full the gambling tables seemed already. There was a poker tournament happening later tonight, so the casino was bound to become even more packed.
“He didn’t know what the hell he wanted to do, either, and then one day he found his passion for business,” he said, leaning down almost conspiratorially. “You’ll find your passion, too.”
“I think I’ve already found mine. Mostly,” I said, muttering that last bit. “I just don’t know how to make a living doing it yet.”
Stuart’s eyes zeroed in on two shifty-looking guys entering the lobby. They kept their heads down and refused to greet the attendant near the door. Based on their worn clothing, they looked like they could barely afford the penny slots, which probably spoke to my uncle’s argument against casinos. But there was a difference between being poor and being a criminal, as my father liked to point out.
“Too bad your father won’t include you in his plan to class this place up,” he said, keeping his eyes on the two strangers. “But it’s only a matter of time, so keep your nose clean.”
Great. Even Stuart thought I was a fuckup. I decided to ignore his comment. “What do you mean, class it up?”
It was true that upon entering the casino for the first time in a couple of years, I had questioned whether it was going downhill, even though my dad had spruced it up with new fixtures and carpets. The clientele appeared rougher around the edges. They seemed to be hardcore gamblers, as opposed to people out for a night of fun and entertainment. I wondered on more than one occasion if my father had had to beef up security due to thievery, card counting, or bar fights.
“Your father’s concerned about the riffraff coming through here lately, and he’s organized a committee to help us get back to our roots,” he said. “And since you know a thing or two about the entertainment industry, I bet you’d have some ideas.”
“Thanks, Stu,” I mumbled. “But I doubt my father would want me involved in any of that.”
“Hey, why the long face? You want to know what Chief Red Hawk once said?” Stu was spouting off again about the infamous leader of our tribal nation. He’d been his greatest admirer for as long as I could remember.
I actually liked hearing his quotes—mostly. If only to keep me grounded in my history. Usually the proverb had to do with returning to nature or finding your spiritual self, but I couldn’t imagine that type of quote would fit into our current conversation.
I nodded. “Sure.”
He cleared his throat. “Understand that you are essential to this world. To the laws of nature. Find your own way, make your own peace. For it is you who has to live with yourself.”
I contemplated that while he stalked off to handle a disagreement taking place near the employee lounge. My father frowned upon staff taking out their personal issues in public. Stuart would undoubtedly remind them of that and get their argument under control.