“Oh, the trouble the three of you would get into, especially when Kai was around.”
I would always egg Kai on. Or dare him to do something silly or crazy, and he’d always take me up on it. Little did my mom know that I had been the instigator, and Kai had had a hard time backing down from a challenge. Dakota always ratted us out. She had always been a total tattletale and daddy’s girl.
“Well, your daughter only pretended to be an angel,” I said, with a smirk on my face. “Kai just took up for me most of the time.”
She looked up from her box of lotions, her eyebrows bunched together. “No way.”
I nodded. “Way.”
“Sheesh, the things parents find out after the fact.” She got this wistful glint in her eye. “That explains why he was so great with you in the hospital. He’s a caretaker, that one.”
I had never thought of Kai in that way. But when she put it like that, it made sense. He was definitely great at music, and he was also a loyal and compassionate friend.
“I always thought he’d make a great husband someday,” she said, lost in thought. “After he was done sowing his wild oats. Kids probably don’t even use that phrase nowadays.”
Old-fashioned saying or not, my skin heated at her words. The way his fingers felt against mine. His mouth.
“I’m pretty sure he’s the same old Kai with the girls. Doesn’t seem to want to be with one person. He’s still kind of a lost soul.” A beautiful and sexy lost soul. “He’s going to work at the casino this summer and figure out what he wants to do.”
“He’ll settle down one day,” Mom said. “And so will you.”
I looked away and considered whether or not to be truthful. “I’m not sure I want to, Mom.”
“Oh, honey,” she said, striding over to me. “Is that because of what happened between your father and me?”
“Things don’t ever stay the same,” I said, stepping back and admiring my paint job. “Things change. People change. I’ve learned that lesson, at least.”
“But some people do get it right the first time,” she said, her voice quiet. Filled with regret. She grabbed for my hand and squeezed. “It’s just that your father and I didn’t. And even still, we did get one thing right. You.”
I clasped her fingers in mine, but I didn’t want this turning into a tear fest, so I changed the subject. “So, which color do you like best, Mom?”
Chapter Eleven
Kai
I pulled out the Raisin Bran and mumbled a good morning to Dakota and Rachel, who were at the table in their pajamas drinking coffee and eating toast. It was easy to act natural in front of Rachel, given our friendship. But altogether another struggle to keep my gaze from wandering over her bare legs, given our intimacy the other night.
This was what Rachel had been afraid of—this awkwardness—so I needed to make it work. I wanted to keep her in my life in whatever capacity she wanted me. I’d play the part and do it well. Because even doing all the normal, everyday things with her felt too perfect, too seamless, too right.
She filled up all the quiet places inside of me. Even if I could have only this pure and unconditional part without the other—her heart-stopping kisses and sexy noises—I’d take it. Because if she walked away, severed our ties completely, I might never recover.
I sat down across from Rachel, and as my long legs searched for space beneath the square table I accidentally brushed my calf against hers. I saw her shoulders give a little shiver before she moved her feet away without looking at me.
“Sorry,” I mumbled into my bowl, and the room fell into a comfortable silence. We were used to being around one another, so thankfully Dakota had no clue that anything had gone down between Rachel and me.
“What time do you head in today?” Dakota asked.
“In about an hour,” I said around a mouthful of cereal.
“Dad might not admit it, but he likes having you at the casino,” Dakota said. “Mom, too.”
Rachel peeked at me over the top of her coffee cup, her green eyes clear, like a cellophane wrapper.
I nodded. “Yeah, I know.”
Dakota pointed her buttered toast across the table. “So don’t fuck it up.”
As a flash of heat stretched across my neck, I noticed how Rachel’s eyes widened. She never got involved in our sibling arguments, so I knew she’d keep her mouth shut this time, too. But I was not in the mood for Dakota’s bullshit this morning and especially not in front of Rachel.
More than anything, I didn’t want Rachel to see me as a fuckup anymore.
“Damn, sis,” I said, raising my coffee cup in a salute. “Thanks for your support.”