"Christ." He ran a hand through his hair. "Last night was a last minute thing. When Aspen didn't happen… I thought going would distract me from you… I didn't want to see her, she was just there. When a photographer came over she used it to her advantage and posed. Right after they took the picture I walked away."
I slumped down on the couch, letting his words sink in.
"I'm sorry, Eva." He pulled me into his lap and rubbed my back.
"I missed you so much." A lump formed in the back of my throat and I was powerless to hold it in any longer. The tears gushed out of my eyes and I released all of the turmoil that had been simmering the past week.
"I don't think it's supposed to be this hard, Carter."
"What do you mean?"
"You and me. I've been so messed up. If it was right, I don't think it would be this hard." I tucked my head into his neck.
"No, Eva. No, I think it's this hard right now because it is right. I've never felt this way about anyone before. It was so easy before because I turned my feelings off, but with you, I can't. I've never met anyone like you. You're beautiful and smart and stubborn. I've never been so drawn to anyone in my life. It's hard because we're breaking down walls and once they're down, it will be so worth it." Carter held my face in his hands and swiped away my tears with the pads of his thumbs. I nodded my head and sniffed.
"Stay tonight, ok? Nothing physical, just you and me. I don't want to let you go, Eva."
I nodded again and Carter picked me up and carried me up the stairs and into his bedroom. I felt emotionally exhausted and curled up under the covers, wrapping my arms and legs around Carter's body. He slung an arm over me and traced tiny circles along my back through my shirt. He inhaled deeply into my hair and sighed.
"Don't leave again, Eva," he whispered softly. I sighed and fell into the best sleep I’d had in three nights.
Seven
The alarm clock rang early the next morning and I dug my head further into the blankets, willing the shrilling noise to stop. And then it did and I realized that I’d slept at Carter's last night and his warm body was still next to mine.
"Wake up, sleepy." Carter rubbed up and down my arm. I groaned and tucked closer into him, not wanting to break the perfect, peaceful moment. I inhaled his freshwater scent and smiled. My fingers tickled along his lower abdomen and brushed along the hard planes of his stomach.
"Eva," he groaned. "As much as I would like to show you how excited I am to wake up with you in the morning, I’ve got to get to work."
"What time is it?" My fingertips teased below the waistband of his pajama pants.
"7:30." His warm hand covered mine and dragged it back up his chest and away from where it had been headed.
"What?" I shrieked and jumped out of bed. "I’ve got to go." I ran into his bathroom.
"Eva, you work from home." Carter stood and watched me scramble around his bedroom looking for my shoes with a hint of amusement in his eyes.
"I’ve got a conference call at 8."
"Do it from here." He wrapped his arms around me and snuggled.
"I can't." I groaned at the delicious smell of his skin. "My laptop, my notes, I have to go home."
"Ok. Meet me for lunch?"
I quirked an eyebrow at him, remembering what had happened the last time we were supposed to have lunch.
"I’ll pick you up at noon." He slapped me on the bottom as I hustled out his bedroom door.
"And where were you last night?" Cate arched an eyebrow at me from the couch when I stepped out of my room a few hours later. I flopped down onto the couch next to her with a smile.
"Carter's" I yawned. Cate put her tablet down and looked me square in the eye.
"You need to spill."
"First, why didn't you tell me that he came over looking for me?"
"You said you didn't want to see him. You said he bulldozed you. I was playing bodyguard." She smiled proudly.
"Well, you should have told me he came over."
"You said you needed time, and I was giving you that. You needed time to get Carter out of your system so you could think clearly."
I couldn't argue with her there. Maybe I wished she had told me, but her intentions had been good.
"So what happened?"
"I should have given him the chance to explain. I jumped to conclusions." I didn't say out loud that it had been my own fear and insecurities that were to blame for the complete cluster that was this weekend.
"And the picture?"
"She snuggled in for the photo-op. They didn't go to the party together."
"Hmm."
"What?"