Sunday morning I woke up from my third consecutive night of restless sleep. Carter hadn't called since he'd sent me those angry texts in the wee hours of Friday morning and I was more despondent than ever. Somehow, Carter had wormed his way into my life and my heart and I knew I wanted him to be there. But now that he'd had the few days away from me, maybe he'd figured out I wasn't worth it. Just as I thought my life would be easier without him, maybe he'd come to the same conclusion. My heart constricted at the thought. I stepped out of the shower and made the decision to call Carter that day to apologize for walking away from him, and to give him a chance to explain himself. It had become painfully obvious that there was a large gaping hole without Carter in my life.
I dressed in jeans and threw a tank top and my favorite cashmere cardigan on. I took the time to blow dry my hair and even put on a dusting of makeup. I wasn't getting ready for Carter so much as I was trying to boost my own confidence to talk to him. I felt ashamed for being a coward and leaving him without an explanation on Thursday. I had done the passive-aggressive thing by turning and leaving without letting him explain and it hadn't resolved anything. I brushed lip gloss on my lips in front of the mirror, took a deep breath and then headed for my phone. I searched through the recent calls and texts one more time to make sure he hadn't called me in the time since Friday morning and then dialed his number.
He didn't answer. I bit my lip wondering if I should leave a message. I decided against it. I didn't even know if I should bother calling again. He would see my name in the recent calls list on his phone. Should I bother texting? I ran out of my room to find Cate and get her advice.
I found her cross-legged on the couch with her tablet and a cup of coffee. Her eyes widened in surprise to see me dressed and with makeup on as I had hardly left my room all weekend.
"What's up?" She smiled brightly. I arched an eyebrow at her.
"What are you doing?" I plopped down next to her.
"Just checking emails." Cate smiled.
"I tried to call Carter," I blurted. Cate coughed on the sip of coffee she'd just taken.
"Why?" Cate's voice was shrill.
"What do you mean why? To give him a chance to tell me his side of the story. To apologize for being a passive-aggressive bitch."
"Right. Did he call or anything?"
"No, not since Friday. What's up Cate? You're being weird." I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Well..." She tapped her nails on the back of her tablet. "When you started hanging out with Carter, I started doing some research. I set up a Google alert for him, so every day I get an email if he's made the news, and he does, a lot."
"Kind of stalker-y," I smiled at her.
"Well..." she chewed on her bottom lip.
"For fuck sakes, Cate. What did you find?" I snatched the tablet from her hands. A picture of Carter with his arm around Nikki was splashed across the screen. She was wearing a low cut dress and a beaming smile. Carter looked dangerously sexy as always.
"When is this from?" I glanced up in her eyes. She sat speechless staring at me. "Cate, when is it from?" I scrolled up the page and my eyes landed on the date of the article.
Last night.
Carter had been with Nikki last night.
Tears immediately sprung to my eyes. So that's why he hadn't called, because he'd been filling his time with Nikki. I guess I hadn't meant anything more to him.
I handed the tablet back to Cate and headed back to my room without a word.
I woke up a few hours later to the sound of my phone screaming in my ear. My eyes were puffy and my throat was raw from crying. I felt like I had a hangover even though I hadn't drank anything. I scrambled with my phone, just wanting the sound to quit. I held it to my ear and croaked out a raspy hello.
"Eva," Carter whispered over the speaker. I shot straight up in bed. The picture of him and Nikki together flooded my brain. I did not want to answer this call. I sat silently, my heart thudding in my chest.
"Eva?" Carter's voice rose.
"I'm here, " I whispered.
"You called?" His voice was cold. My breath caught in my throat. He didn't want to talk. He was only calling me because I had called him.
"By mistake. I hit your name by mistake." I lied because I didn't know what else to say.
"Oh," his voice trailed off. I heard him sigh on the other end. "I wish I would have known you were going to fuck and run, Eva. Could have saved us both a lot of trouble."
The air whooshed out of my lungs. My head swirled in confusion. He thought I had used him? Was he joking? "It wasn't like that, Carter."
"Could have fooled me. You seem to make a habit of fucking and then walking away without looking back." Carter had gone for the low blow.