Whiskey and Lace(11)

And then my phone buzzed. Carter's sexy face danced across my screen. My resolve nearly crumpled. A part of me wanted to slump on the sidewalk, or move far away so Carter couldn't find me. And then I remembered Carter's stalker tendencies and I knew I wouldn't be able to escape him.

A text message from Carter flashed across the screen.

-Where are you? I wanted to run back into his arms and have him give me another one of his explanations, for which he always had. Because in some ways, it would be easy to deal with his moody, controlling personality, and be consumed by him.

But I didn't think my heart could stand it. What could he possibly say to make this ok? Was there any reason she would be there other than he was fucking her brains out across his desk? My stomach clenched again and tears sprung to my eyes. I knew this would happen. I knew I was falling for this man too fast and too soon and I knew he would trample all over my emotions.

Another text flitted across my screen



-Is everything ok? I clenched my teeth together and turned off my phone. I couldn't tempt myself with Carter anymore. I walked up the steps and into my apartment building.

Cate sat sketching on the couch when I walked in the door. "What's up?" She glanced at me and then her smile fell when she saw my face. "Eva, what happened? Are you ok?" She looked me up and down.

"I’m fine. It's Carter. We've just… we're over." I set my bag on the floor and curled up on the couch.

"Oh, honey, why?" Cate sat next to me with concern in her eyes.

"I need wine first, so much wine," I mumbled.

"Done!" Cate bounced into the kitchen and poured us each a glass of red wine and then I filled her in on the past 24 hours with Carter. She listened thoughtfully as I rambled for what felt like forever.

"That prick."

I couldn't help but giggle. My emotions were so raw and jumbled, it felt good to let it bubble out in laughter.

"I liked him. I thought you were different. But maybe that's part of his charm. Maybe he does that with all of them."

My heart clenched in pain.

"God, I didn't mean that. You are different. He always dates these bitchy, blonde, bimbos. You're the opposite of that, you deserve to be treated different. I'm sorry, Eva. He's a prick."

I gave her another halfhearted smile. "He just bulldozes me all the time. When I’m around him, I can’t think straight. I'm not my own person anymore. I just need time to think. I've never felt like this with anyone in my life, but I’m not sure that's a good thing. He fucks me up." I sipped more of my wine to try to chase the hurt from my heart.

"Take time then, sweetie. I know you've been fucked up over him. Just give it time to get him out of your system. We're exorcising Carter Morgan from your life." She smiled and tipped her wine glass back.

I finished my wine in one gulp and stood to drop the glass off in the sink before heading for my bedroom.





My head hit the pillow that afternoon and I didn't wake up until the next morning. My brain was foggy as I tried to process why I had another splitting headache and it felt like I’d been crying for hours. And then I remembered yesterday with Carter. I stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the shower to try and wash away the memory of yesterday. I still wanted to talk to Carter more than anything; I wanted things to go back to how they were, although how they were was still fucked up. But I missed him. And then I remembered that today was Friday, and we were supposed to be going to Aspen today. My heart clenched and fresh tears streamed down my face.

I finished washing my hair and then dressed in a pair of worn jeans and my slouchy UMASS sweatshirt. I pulled out my bag to boot my laptop and check emails when I found my phone and remembered that I’d turned it off. I knew there would be a barrage of missed calls and messages from Carter, and I knew I would be hopeless to resist. I flipped on my phone and found 22 missed calls and 17 texts from him. I sat cross legged on my bed and began to flip through the messages. They'd started yesterday afternoon and gone on all through the night. They went from worried, to demanding, until finally the most recent texts from the wee hours of the morning were angry. At that moment I knew there was no way I would have the heart to listen to any of his voicemails, so I deleted them all. Maybe we both needed time to calm down. Maybe I was wrong to walk away without giving him a chance to explain, but I also knew that I got lost in Carter Morgan and I needed time to sort out what I wanted in my own head. I tossed my phone on the bed and opened my laptop in the hopes of getting work done.

At lunchtime I took a break from working and glanced at my phone to realize that Carter hadn't called all morning. I guess he'd gotten the message, whatever message I had intentionally or unintentionally given by not answering my phone. Part of me had been hoping he'd call, because in the back of my mind that meant he cared for me as much as I did for him. I laid back on the bed and curled into the fetal position, trying to forget the fact that I should have been boarding a plane to spend a weekend alone with Carter.