“Stuff to take care of, or after two months you’re now struggling with the business?”
“Saxon,” I say, his words punching me in the gut.
“What, Brooke? Let me guess… you want me back. Want me to come back to Argo and go back to how things were between us.”
My mouth opens to say something and quickly shuts when I realise I have no words. I knew Saxon could be cruel. I had no doubt he had it in him, but I never thought he would be that way to me.
“I didn’t come here to hurt you, Saxon.” A tear rolls down my cheek.
He sighs deeply. “I know, Brooke. You never mean to hurt me, but you do, and you have.”
My heart constricts and more tears roll down my face.
He closes his eyes as if in pain. “I don’t want to be needed, Brooke. Just for once, I want to be wanted. I want you to want me just for me. Not for Argo, and not for anything else.”
“I don’t want you for anything else other than you, Saxon. I’m not everyone else, I’m not your parents. I just want you. Your friendship, your company, and if you’ll give it to me again, your love and your heart.”
“And to come back to Argo?” he states unfeelingly.
“No,” I stress.
He studies my face, as if he’s trying to figure out my trick. The catch.
“You don’t want me back at Argo?” he says suspiciously.
“No. I mean …” He rolls his eyes. “I mean,” I say in a firm tone, “you can go back to Argo if you want. I’m sure they’d love to have you.”
His forehead creases in confusion. “They?”
“The new owners,” I say casually like it’s no big deal.
His eyes are wide and he just stares at me.
“What?” he whispers.
“I sold Argo. I signed the final paperwork this morning.”
He shakes his head as if he can’t comprehend what I’m saying.
“Can we talk? Please?” I plead.
“Ye …” He clears his throat. “Yeah.”
He walks towards the couch and I follow, sitting close enough that I can feel his warmth, but we aren’t touching. It takes everything in me not to climb onto his lap and beg him to hold me, but I don’t think he’s ready for that yet.
“Start from the beginning,” he says as he stares at the floor, his elbows resting on his knees.
“It was Nate’s business, Nate’s dream. What was I doing? Saving it for later? I don’t know what I was thinking working there. Like I was going to work there for the rest of my life. I friggin’ hate finance.” I laugh.
“I don’t understand.” He turns to me frowning. “What brought this on?”
I take a deep breath. I might as well tell him everything. “That night when you came to my house, I was sure you would forgive me. Sure you would always stay with me, take whatever I was willing to offer. Going to work the next morning, seeing your office like that…” I pause. “… it broke me, Sax.” The last part comes out on a sob and Saxon sits up, his eyes shooting to mine.
“I’m sor—”
“Don’t,” I cut him off. “Don’t be sorry. I pushed you. I know I pushed you to your limits, and even though I knew I was pushing those limits, I was too selfish to do something about it.”
We sit in silence for a moment and digest the words spoken. I decide to continue. “I went to see Nate that day.” Saxon looks at me in disbelief. “I haven’t been since the funeral, and I needed to see him. Talk to him. Feel him. I accepted a few things while I sat with him and made a few decisions.”
I don’t tell him about the song, wanting to keep Nate’s and my last intimate moment between us. “I was living with anger and in a deep depression when you came and got me. I was living in denial every day: denying he wasn’t coming back, denying the issue of the business, denying the need to move forward, and denying that I had fallen in love with you.”
“Brooke,” he breathes.
“Just let me get this out,” I tell him. “I love you, Saxon. I have loved you for a long time. I couldn’t recognise it, or didn’t want to, because I thought to love you, I had to stop loving Nate. But I don’t have to stop. I don’t have to choose. I don’t want to fight anymore; fight what my heart wants, what it craves, what it needs.”
Before I can finish Saxon leans forward and takes my mouth in a hard punishing kiss. He pulls away before I can even respond.
“I have never felt for a woman the way I feel for you, Brooke. Not even close. I didn’t know how to deal with those feelings. I thought we were making progress, and I was willing to wait, take it slowly. That night at Jeanie’s, I felt like we took so many steps back and I couldn’t keep going back and forth with you. I can’t do that anymore.”