“Are you sure?”
“I’m fine.” My voice trembles.
“Let me in, Brooke. Tell me what happened,” he demands.
“No, Sax. I’m just a little unwell. Please go back downstairs, and I’ll be there shortly.” I hear him grumble as he moves away from the bathroom door. Thank God. I just can’t deal with this now. I can’t think straight.
Standing to look in the mirror, I shake my head. My mascara has smudged, and my lipstick has gone. I quickly give my face a light splash and wipe all the mascara off from under my eyes. I don’t even give a shit it’s on Jeanie’s white Brazilian cotton guest towels.
Once again I straighten my shoulders, giving myself a pep talk as I open the bathroom door and head back downstairs.
Upon arriving in the dining room, Saxon immediately stands to come towards me and I hold my hand up to halt him.
“Are you okay, darling?” Mark asks.
“I’m fine, just not feeling well. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to skip dessert.”
“I’ll take you,” Saxon interjects.
Jeanie rolls her eyes and Mark glares at her, before he looks to me in confusion.
“Thanks, Sax, but my car is here. I’m fine, just need an early night. I’ll see you all later.”
Jeanie doesn’t even look at me, but Mark looks between all of us. He stands to give me a quick hug. “Feel better, darling. I hope you come back soon.”
“Of course.” It doesn’t sound as sure as I’d like, but I don’t care. I have to get out of here before I break down. I should never have come.
“Thanks for dinner, Jeanie,” I say, willing her to acknowledge me. She grunts something unintelligible, and I turn for the door.
“I’ll walk you out,” Saxon says, already following me. Great. I really don’t want to deal with him right now.
He grabs our jackets from the hall closet, seeing the maid is probably in the kitchen. I’ve already got the front door open and I’m out of it before he can even hand mine to me.
“What the hell is going on, Brooke?” Saxon demands as he grabs my arm, pulling me to a stop on the way to my car.
“Nothing, I have to go.” Pulling my arm out of his grasp, I continue towards my car.
“No you don’t. You don’t get to run this time, Brooke. What’s going on?”
I can’t bear to look at him, so I keep my head down.
“What is it?” He’s relentless and I know I’m not going anywhere.
“I can’t see you anymore,” I blurt out as I look up to him.
His face twists in despair and my chest tightens. “What?” he whispers.
I stare blankly at him. He knows I’m serious.
“Don’t do this, Brooke. I don’t know what happened with Jeanie in there, but I’m begging you. Please don’t do this.”
“It was never anything serious. It was always going to end, Saxon.”
“Bullshit, Brooke. I fucking love you. Don’t push me away.” His voice is raw. His eyes watch me intensely. He’s wearing his emotions on his sleeve, and I can read them like a book, helping me serve the next blow.
“You don’t love me. You don’t even know me. You’re Nate’s best friend; you were always just Nate’s friend.” His face falls and I want to go to him, have him hold me, wrapping me up in that peace he brings. “What would Nate think?” I whisper as though he’s here listening. “I can’t choose you over him,” I state, my voice never wavering.
“You don’t have to choose,” he shouts. He runs his hand through his hair, and I know he’s struggling to control his anger. “You make it sound like Nate and I were enemies. Like he would be disgusted by the thought of you and me together. He was like a brother to me, Brooke. Don’t you think he would be happy? Don’t you think he would trust you with me? He trusted me with everything else, and more than anyone else. Do you think he would want you with some other dick who didn’t look after you, didn’t appreciate you? Who didn’t know how lucky he was for you to even look his way?”
“Saxon!” I just want him to stop talking, stop spewing words that just confuse and torture me. I drop my head into my hands, shaking it back and forth as I try to gain some semblance of control back.
I pull in a large breath before lifting my head. He stands, defeated, his hands resting on his hips. “We’ve spent nearly every night together for three months, Brooke.”
“Having sex, Saxon, that’s all it was.”
“Is that what you honestly believe? After all I’ve shared with you, all I’ve done for you and with you, is that what you really think?”