“And give me back my key!” I yell as I fall back into the mattress. I hear him chuckling as he closes and locks the front door behind him.
Gutted. No, gutted doesn’t even describe the feeling I have as I leave her house and head back to my apartment. When I had woken up and she was gone, my stomach instantly dropped as I thought I had made the biggest mistake of my life. How could something which felt so fucking right be so wrong?
I knew the risk I was taking by making a move on Brooke: risking our working relationship, the friendship we had built over the last few months, and worst of all, risking my heart. I betrayed my best friend on a chance.
The thought that she had run out on me in the middle of the night had me in a fucking frenzy, not only because I didn’t want to lose her, but because it would ruin all the progress she’d made in moving forward over the last few months.
No matter how I feel about her, her happiness and well-being will always be my number-one priority. If after all her hard work I fucked that up by thinking with my dick, I would never be able to forgive myself.
I don’t know what bothered me more. The fact she said we just fucked or her indifference about it. Just a fuck. Was she even there? That was no fuck. I have fucked a lot. Hell, that’s all I’ve done and I have never experienced anything even close to what it was like with Brooke. I don’t even know how to define it. Was it making love? I don’t know, but it definitely was not fucking.
The thing is I know exactly what that was. I was too freaked out about her reaction to appreciate what we did. I was so worried about scaring her off or pushing her too hard. Hell, I was too scared to even speak. How badly I wanted to tell her how fucking beautiful she was, tell her how long I had wanted her. I needed to tell her how good she had felt, underneath me, wrapped around me, and how being inside her had changed me, ruined me for others.
God, how I had imagined doing all sorts of dirty things with her over the past few months. Over the past few weeks it’s all I’ve thought about. How many cold showers had there been? Too many to count.
Shit. I had just had Brooke, and it was better than I could have ever fucking imagined. She’s perfect, just like I knew she would be. Her skin achingly soft, beautiful tits, and the ass of an angel.
With her lying under me, her hair flowing over the pillow like that, I thought I was fucking dreaming. Her eyes were full of lust and need, her body responding to the smallest touch. My touch.
If I wasn’t so worried about what was going to happen now I’d bang on my chest like a fucking caveman.
I never in my wildest dreams thought I would’ve ever had a chance with Brooke, and trust me, I’ve dreamed about it. She is perfection… the ultimate woman.
Even a man who doesn’t want to settle down, knows he would if he had a Brooke to do it with. The problem is women like Brooke don’t stick around for guys like us and she showed that tonight.
I want her, and not just for sex. I just want her around. Want to talk with her about nothing and everything, want to hear her laugh, and want to be the one making her do it.
After spending every day of the last three months with her I am addicted. How could I go to work every day if she wasn’t there with me?
I wish I could claim her, make her mine. If it were any other woman I would just demand it, and not take no for an answer. Hell, any other woman would be begging me to make her mine. I can’t do that with Brooke. She’s different. She’s fragile. I could easily scare her away, which is the last thing I want to do.
Her face when I asked to stay—God, I could see the total panic in her face. It’s not like I asked to fuck in their bed. I just would’ve given anything to hold her against me all night so I could wake up with her, and see for myself that she was all right, and we were okay.
I’d love to see her in the morning. I got a glimpse of it barging in on her tonight, how her hair sat, all ruffled and messy, her face free of makeup and her cheeks flushed with sleep. God, she is beautiful. Even upon waking she was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
I needed her. There was no question about it. Even if there was no more sex, and we just remained friends, work colleagues even. I needed to be around her.
Fuck though, I hope there is more sex.
Parking in the underground garage of my apartment building, I make my way up to my apartment.
I head straight to my bedroom and strip until I’m just in my boxer briefs. I jump into bed, not wanting to shower. I want to smell her on me for as long as I can. How am I going to stay away from her now?
I know I didn’t get to hold her against me tonight, but going to sleep holding her hand, feeling her warmth next to me, knowing she was there, was the best fucking feeling. Now thinking that it may have been my only chance, I wish I hadn’t been such a scared pussy and had pulled her into my arms and held her. What if I don’t get another opportunity?