Pulling myself up, I shut off the water and step out. I quickly run my towel over myself, drying off just enough to be able to fall into bed. And I do, literally, just that.
Making my way out of the bathroom, I go straight over to my bed, pull back the quilt and fall in, pulling the sheets right up to my chin. I sigh in relief. God, that feels nice. My body is heavy and sinks into the soft mattress. I know it’s not going to be long before sleep takes me.
I’m awoken by a deep, rumbling car exhaust. Looking over at the alarm clock I try to focus my eyes on the bright red numbers. It’s two am. A car door slams, and I lie still, waiting to hear if there is anything else. I hear my front door lock being tampered with and I pull in a breath, lying as perfectly still as I possibly can. The front door swings open abruptly before it’s banged shut.
Holding my breath, I hear heavy footsteps down the hall coming towards my bedroom. My body shakes and I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in all my life. Closing my eyes tightly, I pray it’s just a dream.
“What the fuck, Brooke?” My eyes jerk open and I sit straight up clutching the sheet to my naked chest, my heart pounding as I release the breath I was holding. It’s the first time he’s said anything to me since ‘show me what’s not adding up on the spreadsheet.’ I didn’t fully grasp until now that not one word was spoken between us the whole time we were making love. No. Not making love. Fucking.
“Saxon. Fuck. You scared the shit out of me.” I place my hand on my chest, breathing heavy as my heart races.
“What are you doing?” he asks. The anger lacing his voice does not go unnoticed.
“What am I doing? I’m not the one breaking and entering at two am.”
“I woke up and you were gone.” He takes a long breath and stares at me. “What’s wrong? You regret it, don’t you?” His anger has faded and is replaced with sadness and worry.
“No, Sax, I don’t. It was … It was … It was wonderful,” I sigh. “But I know what it was.”
“What was it, Brooke?”
“Just two adults having consensual sex. Releasing some built-up tension,”
“What … you mean just a fuck?” he spits at me. “Is that what it was for you?”
I recoil in disgust. “You don’t need to be so crass,” I snap at him. “I know you, Sax. That’s all you’re capable of. All you’re interested in.”
“Do you honestly think it was just a fuck for me, or is that what you want to believe?”
“Sax,” I plead. I don’t want to hash this out. “This is exactly why I left. I didn’t want to have this awkward and unneeded conversation.” My voice is frustrated, and I can see he wants to push me for more.
He lets out a deep sigh. “I just need to know you don’t regret it. That I haven’t completely fucked things up with you.” His voice is pained and the sadness has returned to his eyes.
“Sax.” I pause, thinking about how I should word it. “We’re okay. You didn’t do anything I wasn’t begging for.” I smile at him and a there’s a small twinkle in his eyes. I know he’s remembering the way my body begged for his, the way I was drawn to him. Even without words it was clear what we both wanted. What we both needed. “Please,” I beg again. “Let’s just let it go and forget it happened,” I give him a small smile.
Saxon makes his way over to my bed and sits on the edge. He rests his elbows on his knees and bows his head. He’s deep in thought as he stares at the carpet. I wait, still clutching the sheet, aware I’m completely naked underneath it.
He sits up and releases a deep breath. He knows the conversation is over. Rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, he looks down to the quilt. “Can I stay?” It’s so quiet I almost miss it.
“No,” I exclaim. Is he serious? What we have already done is bad enough. He is not staying in Nate’s house, in Nate’s bed. His eyes move up to mine and I’m confused at the rejection I see there. Why would he want to stay? Does he feel bad for me? “Sax, I’m fine, really. Just go home and I’ll see you Monday. We’re fine, I promise.” I can see the indecision on his face as he stands to leave. As he’s about to head out the door I call out to him, “Sax.” He doesn’t turn around but stills, waiting for me to speak. “What car did you come in?”
He turns his head to face me and a smile slightly over takes his face. “That, sweetheart, is my baby.” He stands, his eyes lingering on me for a moment before he turns and leaves, making his way down the hallway.