Leaning back to examine my body once more, I can see the hunger in his bright green eyes as he moves them over my naked self, clearly liking what he sees. Saxon explores my body with his hands, eyes, and lips. I’m feeling vulnerable and euphoric all at once. He’s taking his time, savouring it. Going so slowly it’s like he has waited a lifetime for this and doesn’t want to miss a thing.
My body begins squirming beneath him. I can’t take his torture any longer. I need to feel him. Saxon leans over and places another small kiss on my neck as he reaches for another condom, rolling it over himself. He lowers himself, this time placing all his weight on me. Resting between my legs, he takes my neck and pulls me in for another long kiss. I can’t concentrate: all I can feel is Saxon’s hard cock pressing against my sex.
I slowly roll my hips to gain some friction against his dick and let out a long, desperate moan as Saxon pushes the tip in. I release a contented sigh, and he pushes inside me oh-so slowly, inch by inch. The full feeling overtakes me, and I close my eyes and lay my head back.
He lightly kisses, licks, and nibbles at my neck while he slowly pulls out of me before purposefully pushing back in again. He repeats this agonisingly slow pace while holding me tight against him and hiding his face in my neck, placing soft kisses all over it.
His hot breath is flowing over my collarbone. Mixing that with the unhurried lovemaking, I can barely string two thoughts together. Our first time was rushed, desperate, and fuck, it was hot, but this is more fulfilling in every way. The first time scratched an itch, whereas this time feels like it’s filling something deep inside. Something I didn’t know needed filling.
He makes me feel. To feel so close to someone, feel so cherished and wanted. To feel like there is at least one other person who feels the same as you, who might be going through the same as you. Being with Saxon is comforting in the most wonderful way. Like I don’t have to hide anymore, because he knows all of my darkest secrets, and I’m free to be me.
Saxon’s pace speeds up and so does the tingling between my legs. His long, strong, punishing strokes are playing havoc with my body, and I bring my hips up to tighten around his. I hang on for what I know will an epic ending.
Saxon thrusts inside me two, three more times before I let go. There is no fighting this feeling which my body secretly craves. My orgasm works its way right through me, sending wave after wave of ecstasy.
Coming down from my high, I lazily open my eyes and rest them on Saxon’s face. His eyes are closed and his muscles tense, his neck pulled tight. He thrusts two more times before stilling deep inside me. The elation I feel at seeing him find his release is tormenting, and I push it to the back of my mind.
He lays his forehead on mine and we both close our eyes, breathing heavily while trying to catch our breath. He places a light kiss to my forehead before moving off of me and gets up to go to the bathroom again.
He enters the bathroom and is out of my sight as I stare up at the ceiling.
What the fuck have I done? My stomach rolls as a familiar tightness returns in my chest. I’m sure I’ve not experienced this emotion so much since I’ve lost Nate. Guilt. Guilt for keeping Saxon trapped at Argo, guilt for worrying my parents and putting their lives on hold, guilt for not being there for my best friend when she needs me, guilt for letting down Nate and not being the person he would want me to be. Guilt now for this.
I don’t even have the words for what this is. Did I just cheat on my husband? Did I just cross a moral line? I think I’m going to throw up and can only pray I make it to the bathroom before I lose the contents of my stomach all over these expensive silk sheets.
I startle when I hear the bathroom door open as Saxon exits and picks up the quilt along the way. He doesn’t look at me as he throws the quilt over the bed and me before sliding in next to me, and leaning over to turn the lamp off.
My mind starts to wander as we lay in the darkness. Where will we go from here? Will we pretend nothing happened? Carry on as we have been? His eyes were so cold and distant just now, nothing like the warm, bright green eyes which have been searing my soul all night.
Maybe I could have read his eyes better if he’d actually looked at me. Is he angry? Does he feel as guilty as I do? Is he sorry for starting this? Or worse, does he blame me? God, does he think I’m some kind of cheating slut?
I release a stressed breath and take a few calming breaths to relax me. I feel the quilt move beside me and notice Saxon doesn’t pull me into his arms. A small tear runs down my cheek at the thought that I wish he would.
Suddenly his warm touch runs over my hand, searching for my fingers and intertwining them tightly. My body relaxes in the moment with the same feeling of earlier. Maybe he does know exactly how I feel, because he is going through it too.