I tell her everything that happened, or what I can remember of it. I hate when things like this happen and after the shock wears off so do the details.
“Are you kidding me?” she shouts, her anger back in full force. “I’m going to fucking kill him!” She starts to get up, but I hold her wrist in place.
“No, don’t. It’s not his fault,” I say calmly.
She slowly turns toward me. “Are you fucking Saxon?”
“Rachel!” I yell. “God, no. I have no idea what she was talking about. That’s what has me so baffled.”
“So why did you get so upset if it’s not true? Who cares what Saxon’s latest dick-warmer thinks?” There’s no humour in her voice.
“Rachel…” There’s sadness in my voice which I’m sure she hasn’t missed, as she places her hand on my arm.
“It’s because of what she said about Nate?” she asks quietly, rubbing my arm softly.
“How dare she even mention his name, like she fucking knew him or something? I can’t believe I was going to hit her.”
“What?” she shrieks.
“Saxon came in just as I was about to punch her. I’ve never felt anything like that before, Rach. I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I wasn’t thinking clearly. The adrenalin was too much to deal with.”
“You watched a lot of Dr. Phil in the months you were at home, didn’t you?” she says seriously.
“Shut up.” I laugh at her. “You know I’ve never been one for confrontation. I still just don’t get what happened or what it was all about. I’ve been over it and over it, and I don’t understand. There was more there than her thinking I was sleeping with Saxon.”
“You need to talk to him about it. I’m sure he doesn’t have all the answers, but he obviously knows what went on between the two of them more than you do.”
“I know,” I sigh. “I flipped out on him, and now I’m too embarrassed to go see him.”
“I have no doubt it was somehow his fault. If not, I’m sure he deserved it anyway, just for being a douche in general.”
I laugh. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Seriously though, Brooke.” Her voice is stern but soft. “He was really upset when he called me earlier so go easy on him, okay?”
I’m not sure what she means so I just nod. Rachel taking up for Saxon has me thrown.
Walking towards his office, I think of his face when I yelled at him and my chest aches. I hurt him… again.
Stepping into his office remorse settles in my stomach as I see him leaning his head back on his couch, eyes closed. I know I shouldn’t have yelled at him like that. I just couldn’t face him, and I needed to be alone. I blamed him for his crazy-ass girlfriend coming and losing her mind.
Saxon’s eyes open on hearing my arrival, and slowly, I make my way over to the couch and settle next to him, his eyes following me the whole way.
“I’m so sorry, Sax,” I blurt out, just needing to get it over with.
“No, Brooke,” he says. “I’m sorry, so fucking sorry. You told me women didn’t do casual and you were right. I knew she wanted way more than I could or would ever give her, and I didn’t end things with her like I should have. See, there’s a reason I stay single. This just proves a relationship isn’t for me. At least I gave it a go, right?” He laughs cynically, looking down at the drink he’s turning around in his hand.
“Maybe you haven’t found the right girl yet?” I say softly, not wanting him to give up.
His gaze shoots up to meet mine. “Maybe she hasn’t found me yet.” His eyes are holding mine hostage, and there is something there I can’t place.
I hope he doesn’t give up on finding someone. He’s been so wonderful to me over the past few months, and I have no doubt once he finds the right girl he will be the best type of man. He is caring and fiercely loyal to those he loves. He is protective and loving. Strong and kind. Everything which makes a wonderful husband and partner.
He interrupts my thoughts. “I think we need to talk,” he offers quietly, like I’m going to run. Six months ago, hell, three months ago I probably would have, but I’m stronger now.
Losing Nate was indescribable, but I’m getting through it. I’m going through it every day and every day it gets easier. Every day I hurt a little less than the day before.
“Yes, we should.” Leaving no time for awkwardness, I jump right in the deep end. “What was she talking about, Saxon? What did she mean by all that?”
“First, Brooke, you need to tell me what she said. I only caught the end of it, and honestly, I have no explanation for that.”