Saxon snorts in distaste. “She is not my girlfriend; we have an agreement. She knows I don’t have any plans to settle down, she understands what we are. You know me, Brooke.”
“No, I don’t actually,” I say with a sombre expression. I hate that I feel this way. I hate that he pulled away from our friendship once Nate and I were married. Now I sit here with him, knowing him for years, yet it’s almost like sitting with a stranger.
His eyes flip in shock to meet my sad ones. “I know we haven’t seen much of each other in the last few years, but I haven’t changed since college. I’m still the same guy.”
“You don’t seem it. In college you were happy, fun, and carefree. Now, you look like you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders,” I say quietly, avoiding his stare and fidgeting with my cutlery.
“You’re not exactly yourself either, Brooke.”
I knew what he meant, and he was right. Just as I lost my other half so did he. He seemed like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders because he was.
I try to turn the subject back. “I may not know you as well now, but I know you never date a girl more than a few times, so why this one? How can it not be serious after so many months?”
“I’ve had too much going on to worry about dating. Amber is easy, she knows the deal and can accompany me to business functions and whatever without me having to worry about her wanting more.”
“And you can fuck her whenever you like?” There is clear disdain in my voice.
“Brooke.” His eyes go wide with shock. “It’s not like that.”
“I’m sorry, but you know what I mean,” I say, my cheeks warming with embarrassment.
“It’s not what you think. She uses me as much as I use her. ” I don’t know why he is acting so offended. He has never been ashamed of who he is.
“So you just fuck her, roll over, put your pants back on and say thanks before shutting the door to leave?”
Saxon’s eyes go wider, and I glare back at him, holding my ground. I can’t believe I said that. What should I care? It’s none of my business, and I’ve never been one to judge. I can tell he’s speechless, his mouth hanging wide open. He wouldn’t be used to seeing this side of me. It’s been a long time since even I’ve seen her.
I try and recover from the disaster this dinner has become. “Look, what I’m trying to say is, to a woman, as much as we say it doesn’t mean anything, it does. I promise you, Amber doesn’t understand, and she’s not cool with it.”
Saxon still stares at me in shock, and I’m mortified. I look down into my lap and consider sliding underneath the table and crawling away. Why did I go off on him like that? Why does it even bother me?
“You’re out of control without Nate,” he says, still looking at me in horror but a small smile tips the corners of his mouth.
Looking up from under my lashes, I can’t help but giggle with him. “I know,” I groan as I place my face in my hands. “What am I going to do without him?”
Saxon laughs. “I don’t know, but you need to get that shit under control. Nate was definitely the better half, or however the saying goes.”
“Gee, thanks,” I say sarcastically. “And no, the saying is, behind every good man is a great woman.” I give him a mock glare.
“Well, not in your case,” he says, all laughter gone from his voice.
Our eyes meet and we just stare at each other, like we can’t believe the joke we are having. It’s been years since Saxon and I have teased each other like this. Nate did keep me in line. He made me a better person, more grown up and mature, as well as more kind and patient.
I feel a little bit free, not caring what Saxon thinks and being able to say whatever pops into my head without thought.
Saxon’s face is tight, trying to hold in the laughter, but I’m not as successful and crack up laughing at our candid banter. As soon as I start Saxon follows, and it’s not long before we are both trying to catch our breaths.
“I was relying on you being the people person of Argo,” he says seriously. “Well, I guess that’s out the window. You are definitely back-of-house material.”
This only causes me to laugh more, and I’m clutching at my tummy trying to settle the cramps, tears running down my cheeks. I take a drink of my fourth cosmopolitan and settle back into my seat.
“I think you’ve had enough, Brooke. We don’t want all your inhibitions gone,” Saxon says looking at my half-empty drink.
“Come on, smart-ass.” I gulp the rest of my drink. “Let’s go.” I grab my purse and stand to leave.