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Wherever You Will Go(13)

By:Stephanie Smith


Once I hear the bathroom door close and the lock latch, I wait for the shower water to start before I stand up off the couch and head straight for her en-suite.

I open the en-suite door, which takes a little extra strength and makes crunching noises as I put my body weight against it to gain some leverage.

Holy Shit! What. The. Fuck?

Things are much worse than I’d first thought. What the fuck was I thinking? Not visiting, not calling, not texting or even sending a fucking email in three months. My best friend’s wife. No, my brother’s wife, because that’s what he was to me. A fucking brother, and I completely bailed on the most important person in his life. I bailed because I’m a weak prick and can’t handle my own emotions, let alone anyone else’s.

That’s a lie. I can’t handle Brooke’s emotions. I can’t handle seeing her like that and not being able to fix it.

Glancing around the en-suite, I take in the destruction. I wonder how long it has been like this and what exactly set it off. As I’m thinking this over, I’m taking a subconscious inventory. Smashed perfume and cologne bottles, shattered mirror and shower screen lie everywhere, the bin tipped over and tissues and rubbish scattered all around.

What the fuck? Was that blood splattered all over the floor? Is she hurt? Did she need medical attention? I’m losing my fucking mind. I want to break down that bathroom door and get some fucking answers from her, make sure she really is okay.

As I turn to leave, not being able to look at the destruction of her pain anymore, I notice a couple of white plastic sticks laying in between shards of glass. Bending down to get a better look, I know straight away what I’m looking at. A negative pregnancy test. Brooke thought she was pregnant? Is that what caused this? Has she been sleeping with someone?

Fuck no, it’s Brooke. Her world began and ended with Nate. It’s then I remember the last conversation Nate and I had before his accident, before he didn’t show up at work that morning.





“Why are you calling me at ten am, Nathaniel, instead of sitting in the office down the hall?”

Nate lets out a loud laugh. “I was just calling to let you know I was on my way.”

“What’s your excuse today?” I ask. Nate has a much more relaxed work ethic than I do. Work is never a priority, and whatever he didn’t do today he could do tomorrow. I don’t know how he is so successful working like this, but he is. People love and trust him. We make the perfect working team: Nate the client-relations man, and me the numbers man.

I work twelve-plus hours most days, and spend most of my weekends in my home office. I don’t have to do this, and Nate never expects it; work is my first priority and my sanctuary. The only other thing I make time for in my life is women.

Unlike me, Nate’s first priority and sanctuary is Brooke. If he isn’t in the office, he is with her. He tries to be home for dinner most nights and refuses to work weekends unless we have to.

Of course this was after we had built the business into what it is today. In the beginning we both worked around the clock, barely leaving the office to sleep. The difference was Nate adjusted accordingly, and I stayed the same.

“Well, Brooke and I made a pretty big decision this morning,” he says with excitement in his voice. He sounds almost giddy.

“Yeah?” I ask sceptically. What big idea had he come up with now?

“We’re going to start trying to have a baby.” Nate’s voice peaks with his exhilaration.

I laugh at my friend. I’m happy for him. “Congratulations, man, but that doesn’t explain why you are two hours late.”

“We were trying for a baby,” Nate says casually, like it should be obvious.

My eyebrows scrunch together as I think about what he just said. “What, and you had to try right away?”

Nate cracks up laughing. “Fuck yeah, we did. Once she said yes I couldn’t wait to start.”

I let out a small laugh. “All right, all right, enough. I don’t want to fucking hear it. It’s bad enough I still can’t erase from my mind the time I walked in on you guys in our dorm bathroom.”

Nate laughs before he sobers. “Seriously though, Sax, I’m so fucking happy. I honestly wasn’t sure if she was going to freak out or not when I brought it up. She was so excited she practically jumped into my arms. We’re going to have a baby. I’m going to be a dad, man.”

I shake my head at my friend, even though he can’t see it. “Dude, I’m going to have to call Brooke and ask her for your balls back. At least if she could give them to you for work. You know, nine to five.”

Nate chuckles. “Fuck off, man.”