Saxon has been a wonderful support, and just like it was during our time at Argo, we work seamlessly together. I love seeing him every day and being able to share everything with him. I also enjoy being the top dog this time, being able to boss him around and have him ask my opinion now that we are in my field of expertise. Of course he’s picked it up easily and excels at it like he does everything else, but I don’t tell him that. Plus, bossing him around all the time at work kind of turns me on. Needless to say, there’s been a lot more office sex.
It was sad to say goodbye to Argo, but it was the best thing for both of us. We were both hanging onto Nate in different ways and needed a fresh start.
Bill retired not long after I sold the business, and we have dinner with him and Veronica often. I still catch up with Harper over coffee regularly. Which of course ensures I’m still getting the most up-to-date gossip on what’s happening at the office. I’ve even convinced Saxon to come out on a few double dates every now and then, despite the fact he doesn’t like Harper’s new boyfriend much.
We’ve had a busy six months and even though we spend all day, every day together, we still make an effort to make time for each other with special dinners out, going to the movies, and weekends away.
Walking over to the wall I have decided to hang the painting on, I rest the picture against it and go in search of Saxon.
Passing the front desk, I see Ruth is on the phone, throwing strict instructions down the line. Talking to the catering company, I assume. They advised us this morning they had double-booked us. I don’t know what we would have done without Ruth. Taking her with us was the smartest business decision we made.
Leaving her to deal with the catering situation, I make my way to the back hallway and down to the office. The door is open and I step in to see Saxon standing on a step-ladder. He looks positively edible standing there in his old, soft, light-wash jeans and a white t-shirt stretched over his tight muscles. I sigh, and it must be audible as he turns to face me.
He smiles widely at me, and I feel the blush crawl up my face. How does he still do that to me? He steps down and gestures me over, and I take a step as I look up at the picture hanging on the wall between our desks. I stop mid-step and inhale sharply.
It’s a picture of Saxon, Nate, and me in college. Nate is standing in the middle with one arm around me, holding me close, and his other arm is thrown over Saxon. We all have the biggest grins on our faces, and just remembering that day brings a smile to my face.
“I had lunch with Mark last week, and he gave me this photo. He found it in the basement in one of Nate’s boxes from college. I had it blown up and framed.” Saxon looks at me anxiously.
I step closer to the wall, looking up at the photo. Saxon steps in behind me, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist.
“I hope you like it,” he whispers in my ear. “I thought Nate should be a part of this.”
“It’s perfect,” I whisper as I turn in his arms and wrap my hands around his neck. “You’re perfect.”
Saxon holds me tight against him, and I rest my head on his chest. We stay like this, enjoying the silence, taking it all in.
“How was Mark?” I ask.
“He was good. He said Jeanie is really struggling.” He pauses. “He doesn’t think she’ll come to the opening, Brooke,” he says gently.
I nod, knowing that would be the case. I was hoping Jeanie would eventually come around, but it seems that may never happen. She may never accept us as a couple. Even so, I won’t let go of the hope that she may change her mind before our wedding in six months.
The thing about grief is it takes time to accept it. No one knows exactly how long, each person grieves differently, and no one can force you. It has to come from within and only when you are ready to see it.
People will tell you that you have to let go, move forward, leave the past in the past and go on living. The thing I discovered is I didn’t have to let Nate go. I didn’t have to leave him in the past, and I didn’t have to choose between them. I had to make room.
I can move on with life and take Nate with me. Saxon and I can remember him together, miss him together, and share his memories together. I can keep him in my heart and carry him wherever I will go.