Where the Wild Things Bite(7)

“Damn it!” I yelled again, the sound of the wind whipping through the cabin nearly drowning out my voice. I turned to the vampire, who was standing motionless in the aisle. “I don’t suppose you’re a pilot or an airplane mechanic?”

Hesitant, he shook his head. “No.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him to sit in a seat near the open emergency door. I closed the seatbelt around my waist and cinched it as tight as possible, even as my hands shook.

“What are you doing?” the vampire asked, as I kept my tote clutched to my chest. Despite the fact that the NTSB strongly urged against trying to hold on to luggage while trying to escape a wrecked plane, I was going to cling to it like a lifeline. I’d worked to keep that bag. I’d be damned if I’d let it get thrown loose from my corpse now.

“Preparing for the crash. You should strap in, too. Ninety-five percent of people involved in plane crashes survive, but buckling your seatbelt and sitting close to an emergency exit up your chances,” I told him, clearly aware that I was babbling. But so far, I’d managed not to break down into hysterical tears, despite pants-wetting terror, so I thought I deserved a bit of a babble. “When we hit the ground, the first ninety seconds are important. Most people end up sustaining injuries in the postcrash fire, which is probably more worrisome to you than to me, since you’re . . . uh, highly flammable.”

The vampire clearly did not appreciate my advice, giving me what I could only describe as a full-body eye roll.

“I’m trying to help you survive what happens when our plane hits the ground in the next couple of minutes!” I told him.

“We are not going to crash!”

“Tell that to the ground rushing at us!” I yelled, pointing out the window.

The vampire huffed, yanked at my seatbelt buckle, and popped it loose.

“What are you doing!” I screeched, smacking at his hands. He took hold of both of my wrists and dragged me out of my seat.

I could hear a consistent, quiet slap slap slap against the belly of the plane and realized that it was tree branches. We were so close to the ground that tree branches were smacking against the plane.

“I need to get back into my seat!” I yelled at him.

“Put your arms around my neck,” he said, hauling me against him.

Even through the panic, I couldn’t help but notice how easily I fit against his solid, muscled frame. That was inconveniently timed.

“Put your arms around my neck, and hold on,” he repeated, wrapping my arms around said neck.

“What?” I gasped, snapping out of my hands-on ogling. “Why?”

“We’re going to jump,” he said, leading me toward the open door.

“No!” I yelled. “Are you crazy! No!”

I didn’t know of any survival statistics for people who leaped out of crashing airplanes without parachutes, but they couldn’t be good.

“It will be fine,” he grunted, as we inched nearer to the open door, the wind plucking at our clothes and blowing my dark hair over my face.

“Vampires can’t fly! I’ve looked into it!” I insisted, trying to wedge my feet against the seats so he couldn’t move me.

“Come on, woman!”

“No!” I yelled, scrambling over his shoulder so I could dig my fingernails into the seats. “This is insane! You are insane!”

The vampire grabbed my hips and dragged me down the length of his chest, wrapping my long legs around his waist. He secured me against him with his left hand while he clutched my chin in the other. “It’s going to be fine,” he promised.

“I don’t want to jump out of the plane,” I told him.

“OK,” he said.

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Really?”

He nodded, tightening his grip around my waist. “I’ll do the jumping.”

And with that, he took a running start out the door and leaped from the plane.

“You asshooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLE!” I screamed, as we cleared the door and dropped into nothingness. Over the vampire’s shoulder, I could see the underbelly of the plane shrink in the distance. The wind tore at my clothes, whipping my hair over my face and around the vampire’s.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Time moved at a snail’s speed as we plunged through empty space. I heard everything and nothing all at once. My life didn’t flash before my eyes, but dozens of questions streamed through my brain. How long would we fall? How much would it hurt to hit the ground? Didn’t people black out from fear in situations like this? I would love to black out from fear right now. Using some sort of midair rolling maneuver, the vampire turned us so that he was under me. But I was too busy burying my face against his neck to appreciate his chivalrous, impact-absorbing gesture. I squeezed him even tighter, squealing in terror. I heard him wheeze in protest, but if these were my last moments before crashing into the ground, I wanted him to know that I was displeased with his decision to fling me out of a plane without my permission. My bag flapped loose, the leather slapping viciously against my side as we plummeted.