Daniel,
I am no doubt the last person you ever want to hear from, but I couldn’t leave without saying I’m sorry, and you were right. I don’t belong in your world, as much as I wish I did. I won’t ever be what you want or need, and though it breaks my heart to admit it, I have to, and I need to accept that fact.
And yes, I knew about you from the first day we met. Blame Poppa. He taught me how to read people, and my curiosity got the better of me. I looked you up. It isn’t hard, and I know my way around computers. The name Alex Quinn might not mean anything to you, but millions of people around the world play the online games I created. I am Alex Quinn. So, I wasn’t completely honest with you either. I guess we’re even then.
I’m truly sorry for everything that happened to you, Daniel. If I could, I’d take it all away. I’d trade places with you. But I can’t. And you don’t want me…there’s nothing I can do to change that. I fell in love with you but that love was obviously one-sided.
I wish you all the best.
Amelia Quinlivan
He read and re-read the letter a hundred times. The words were carved into his brain. She knew he’d been in prison. The entire time. She knew. And yet…not once did she show any fear towards him. Nor did she pity him. She treated him like he was any other person. And during that time, she fought to have his innocence made public record.
Daniel thought back to that day, shortly after he sent Amelia away, when two men from the government showed up in his hospital room saying how sorry they were for falsely accusing him of the bombing fifteen years ago. The pair of them went into some spiel about how Amelia dug around with the help of an investigator, and the man collected enough evidence to prove Daniel’s innocence – which included a large payoff from Seamus Riley to the key players in his trial, making sure he got locked up.
Damn, but he’d gone and broken her heart. The things he said…
He played them over and over again, tormenting himself. He broke her heart, which meant she must have cared for him. She did care. She loved him.
“I figured you might be finished reading by now,” Dr. Ryan said, retaking his chair.
Daniel tore his gaze from the page and studied the doctor. What could he say? There were no words. He’d been an utter arse to Amelia. She deserved so much more than him.
“Now. If you want it, she left her contact information for you to use.”
“Aye,” he said without pause. “Give us it.” Daniel held his hand out over the desk.
The doctor reached into his desk drawer a second time and pulled out another slip of paper. This one was smaller and folded in half just once. Written in the same handwriting as the letter was an address to a cottage in Malin Head, County Donegal, at the far north of Ireland, on the border with Northern Ireland.
“You know she wouldn’t leave the hospital? Made some huge donation just so we’d let her sit in the waiting room until you were well enough to receive visitors. She didn’t eat or sleep. She stared at the wall and cried and asked for updates so often my staff begged me to let them wear ear plugs. If you want my advice, Daniel, I say go up there and get your girl back.” Dr. Ryan tented his fingers. “I know you didn’t ask for it, but there it is.”
Aye, there it was indeed. Proof of how much of a fool he’d acted. Daniel hadn’t looked her in the eye when he sent her away. He’d shut his eyes and turned his head so he wouldn’t see the exact moment he broke her heart.
“You’re free to go whenever you’re ready, Daniel. I’ve been instructed to give you this.” The doctor slid a thick yellow envelope across the desk. “Inside you’ll find your banking information and a debit/credit card, including chip and pin instructions. A passport. Your driver’s licence. A mobile phone, topped up with fifty euros. And even a little cash to get you started.”
Dr. Ryan rose from his chair and reached into his pocket. “Here’s your prescriptions and a refill slip. Wherever you end up, make sure you check in with a GP and let them know about your pain.”
Pain. He damned well deserved the pain in his knee and his hip. He never should have gotten involved with Amelia. But could he have kept himself from falling in love with her?
The decision to at least go up to Malin Head and apologise for being the biggest arse-hat in the universe came easily. He wanted, no, needed to see her. Even if for one last time. To see her face. Hold her hand. Beg on hands and knees. His body already made the decision for him. He was just along for the ride.
Then he was standing up and walking out of the hospital, pain tablets shoved in his jacket pockets – Amelia left a brand new bag with all his clothing in the hospital room – and he was walking towards the nearest taxi stand.