Where Sea Meets Sky(63)

Heat floods my cold cheeks. Again, I’m embarrassed and hurt.

The man, Janne, clears his throat. “Well, I hope the rest of your day gets better. Glad to see that you’re all in one piece.” I know what he’s not saying: I hope you have fun dealing with that shithead back at the hut.

And that’s when I know it’s over with the shithead. Ending it with Nick will throw my future up in the air and will leave me naked and vulnerable, but I have enough self-respect to kick him to the curb. He didn’t even care. I was in the dark with Josh, way past sunset, in the mountains, in the wilderness, and he didn’t care. He just didn’t care. He fucking went to sleep instead.

How could he sleep knowing I was out there? Even if he really does believe I can take care of myself, how could his ego let me be out there with Josh?

Had I been sleeping with a monster this whole time?

We say goodbye to the couple, and as we walk down the hill I ask Amber, “Did Nick seem mad?”

“Uh,” she says. “He didn’t have an outburst or anything but there was a vein popping out on his forehead and it seemed like he was trying to grind his bottom jaw right out.”

So he was at least being possessive. That sounded more like him.

After a few beats, Josh, in a low, hard voice, says, “Gemma, I know I’ve already asked you this before. I know you’re going to tell me to fuck off or whatever. But I have to know, because I don’t get it.” He pauses and I hold my breath. “Why the fuck are you with that asshole?”

I don’t say anything.

I hear him stop behind me and he grabs my arm, pulling me toward him. His grip is strong, his eyes on fire as they search mine. “I’m serious. The guy doesn’t even give a shit that you’re out here. Why the fuck are you with him?” His voice is growing louder. “Tell me!”

I can hear Amber inhale behind me, watching this unfold, probably waiting for an answer, too.

“Because,” I croak, trying to find my defiance. “I know exactly what to expect with him.”

“And what is that?”

I pause. “Nothing. I expect nothing and that’s just what he gives.”

Josh frowns, looking a little broken. “How can you want that?”

I don’t say anything.

He grabs my other arm and there’s a wildness to his eyes, his hair catching on the wind. “Gemma.” His voice is rough and heated. “Some people may expect nothing. Most people expect something. But you, you, should expect everything.”

Will you give me everything? I want to ask. I look away before he can see the question in my eyes.

I don’t want the answer.

Fifteen minutes later we reach the hut and my nerves are squirming. I’m actually kind of glad that Amber didn’t tell anyone other than Janne and Ana, and that all the trampers here are none the wiser.

But once we step inside the communal dining hall and see Nick storming toward us, I know that everyone’s about to know all of our business.

He’s mad. Amber said he didn’t have an outburst but I don’t think I’ll be spared one. Nick’s going to blow like a volcano and it’s not going to be pretty. That’s when the caveman rugby player comes out, the kind that picks fights and spits in faces.

“Where the fuck did you go?” he yells, and the trampers who are trying to eat their oatmeal and cereal look up at him aghast. He ignores them, coming right over to me and grabbing my forearm tight, yanking me hard.

“Hey,” Josh warns, stepping in between us, putting a hand on Nick’s chest and trying to push him back.

“Oh fuck off,” Nick barks at him, his face going red. “I know exactly what’s going on between you two.”

“Nick,” I cry out softly, my eyes darting to all the people watching us. “Calm down, there’s nothing going on.”

“Bullfuckingshit,” he says. His eyes settle on me, hard, mean little dots. “Like you actually just wanted to look at the sunset. You’re not that daft.”

“I did!” I say.

He turns his gaze to Josh and his lip curls into a snarl. “So she’s a good lay, isn’t she? A good little root.”

“It’s not what you think,” Josh says, though now the anger is starting to creep into his voice, too. “We got stuck up there, the flashlight died.”

“And you fucked the night away, is that it?” he turns to me, yelling, spittle flying in my face.

“Nothing happened!” I yell right back. I’m getting defensive and can’t help myself. I try to lower my voice. “Nothing happened, we got stuck and waited until morning to come back, when we could see where we were going.”