Where Sea Meets Sky(36)

I have to stop thinking like this—it isn’t helping. I keep walking, training my gaze on the back of her head instead, but even then my fingers long to brush through her hair and feel the silky strands between my fingers. She’s so close but I can’t touch her.

Ten minutes later we’ve stopped in the middle of the forest beside what looks to be two outhouses. We take turns getting changed into our swim gear we were told to bring, then head back out to put on the wet suits. Nothing like fumbling into a damp, skin-tight sausage casing in public.

Gemma is wearing a rather modest bikini with boy shorts, and I should know better than to stare at her, but I can’t help it. I can feel Nick’s eyes boring a hole into mine, and I quickly look away at Amber, who is dressed in a one-piece. She’s not as crazy fit as Gemma but she still looks pretty good, with curves in all the right places.

Now Amber is looking up at me, catching me staring at her body, and she gives me a little smile. It’s more coy than shy, and right then I know she’s getting the wrong idea. I give her a quick smile back.

“Listen up,” Blair says, clapping his hands together. “When you’re all suited up, make sure to slip on your helmets. I’ll come by and make sure everyone is done up correctly. Then I’ll quickly go over the abseiling technique and we’ll make our descent.”

I raise my hand. “Uh, descent into where?”

He smiles and makes a sweeping gesture to the forest behind him. “Just over there.”

There’s nothing but ferns at first glance, but when I stare a bit longer I can see the shades and heights of the greenery change.

Once we put on our helmets, complete with a light on top, and look like a bunch of scuba-diving astronauts, Blair does a quick demonstration on abseiling technique. And when I say quick, I mean, like, lawsuit-ready quick. Something about keeping a steady grip on the rope and your knees relaxed and trying not to plummet to your death. That’s all I get out of it.

I look at everyone else in the group but they seem more excited than worried as Blair leads us over to the place he was gesturing toward earlier.

The ground in front of us opens up into a wide hole in the ground, a very mini version of the Grand Canyon filled with ferns and other prehistoric-looking plants. There are no hobbits here but I wouldn’t be surprised if a velociraptor came darting out of the bushes.

There’s the distinct smell of fresh water wafting up toward us and the sound of it babbling from somewhere down below. When I gather the courage to step closer to the edge and look over, I can see the ropes are already in place. Down where the canyon seems to disappear under the lip of a rock, there’s a stack of inner tubes. I have to remind myself that these tours run several times a day, every day.

I’m not going to die.

But it’s not long before I’m tempting death and Blair is hooking me up to the ropes. I don’t know why he’s chosen me to go first; maybe because I’m the tallest and most expendable.

Or because I’m Canadian.

I can’t back out now. I’m hanging off the side of the cliff, my feet against the rock face, trying to keep my knees from locking. I’m gripping the rope for dear life and I’ve forgotten everything that Blair has said. The only thing I can see is Gemma, peering over the edge at me. All the other faces, all the other voices, meld together until they’re nothing.

But she’s there. Watching me with concern, with wonder. A few strands of dark hair hang loose against her cheekbones, and I remember brushing my fingers along her skin, pushing her hair away. I don’t think I’ll ever stop comparing that night—what we were—with what we are now.

In some ways, I wish I had never slept with her. Then I could appreciate being with her more, revel in her company, in getting to know her. But I can’t even do that, because I already feel like I know her. I’ve come inside her mouth. She’s come into mine. I’ve felt her heartbeat beneath me. So much intimacy in such a short amount of time.

And now I’m forced to start at square one, and it’s killing me that there’s this distance, that I’m hanging from this rope and going into the abyss alone while she watches with her boyfriend by her side. I’m falling, slowly and controlled for now, but I’m still going down.

I wonder if she’ll follow.

She at least follows into the canyon.

As soon as my feet reach the ground and I let go of the rope, unhooking myself, Blair is readying it for her. I step back and stare up at her as she descends with ease. She has obviously been abseiling before.

When she lands, light on her feet, and it’s just us two, I have a very Neanderthal moment, imagining we’re Adam and Eve. I could just scoop her up in my arms and run into the cave with her and we could start a new life in this secret little world.