I knew he would never be with just me, so my way of coping was to let him live his life while I lived mine. Only difference was that Siah felt like I was his, and no matter how much I pretended, I wasn't actually living my life. He hated me being with anybody but him, even though he had hoes on top of hoes day in and day out. I couldn't count the number of times he had rolled up on me and shut me down from kicking it with the next man. I eventually learned to live with it, but it annoyed me that he could do whatever he wanted and I had to play by his rules. Problem was, half of Siah was better than no Siah. I needed him. Crazy as it sounded, I accepted his terms because I needed him.
Royce and I weren't together anymore, but we still kicked it occasionally. He was a good substitute when Siah wasn't around, but he wasn't Yosiah. I made it work, though, because Royce was A-1 too. He kept me satisfied, it’s just that my heart wasn't with him the way it was with Siah. Crazy, I know, but some things we have no control over, and my addiction to Yosiah was one of those things.
Yosiah
“Yo, you wrong as fuck for sending him out to Hawthorne like that. You know that nigga cussing your black ass for days. Ain't shit going on out there, ’cause Hollis be on point with his, and you sending Royce out there to check on him is gonna piss him off.”
I chuckled. “Man, fuck Royce. That nigga wanna keep his job then he’ll go wherever the fuck I tell him to go. I already hit Hollis up and told him to keep that nigga busy for a minute.”
I let my head fall back and my eyes closed. I was high as fuck, as Jock pulled away from the club. I sent Royce on a pointless trip to check on a few things, just to make sure he didn't show up at Nonie’s crib. I was good for that shit, but I could do that. Royce and Nonie used to be solid, but she eventually let him go after we started fucking around. It wasn't that I ever really intended to fuck up her relationship, but once I had Nonie, a nigga got possessive as a muthafucker.
I should have felt bad for scooping her up like that, but Royce wasn't for Nonie. He straight, I guess, and probably better for her too. But Royce wasn't me. He couldn't handle somebody like Nonie. Besides, she was mine from the second I laid eyes on her. We kept that shit on the low, though. That was her thing. She didn’t wanna hurt that nigga’s feelings, even though I didn't give a fuck how he felt about it. I only went along with it ’cause she asked me to, and Nonie got what she wanted from me… well almost anything. Commitment wasn't in the cards, but everything else she was good for, so the only people who really knew about us was Jock, and Kizzie. The way I was blocking her ass with other niggas likely had people assuming, but nobody questioned me on anything I did, so that shit was just that, assumptions.
“Royce is dumb as fuck. I can't believe he still don't know you fucking with Nonie.” Jock laughed a little like he was talking more to himself than me. He did that shit all the time, so I didn't even respond. If he wanted me to, he’d let me know. “Where you heading, bruh?” Jock asked, now addressing me.
I thought about it for a minute. I was high as fuck and wanted to lay up under a female, but I also wanted to see Nonie. Problem was, she might be on that bullshit and holding out on me, so I didn't know if I wanted to fuck with shorty or not. If she was in one of her moods, we’d be arguing and shit and I’d end up in one of her guest rooms instead of between her legs. Fuck it. It had been a minute, and I missed my shorty.
Swing me around to Nonie’s crib and then have somebody bring my whip there. Nah wait, fuck that, you bring my shit. Them niggas can't drive, and if they wreck my shit, I’m bodying a muthafucker.
Jock laughed. “Aight, bet. But I’ll be a lil minute. I need to swing by and hit Kizzie off real quick, but I’ll make sure your shit is there before you wake up in the morning, with your rise and shine ass.”
I chuckled. “Man, fuck you, nigga. I got business to handle. Fuck all that sleeping in shit.”
“Yeah, I feel you.”
When Jock pulled up in front of Nonie’s crib, I dapped him up and got out. I told him not to wait, since I had a key. Yeah, I had a key to her spot. She had handed it off on some emergency only type shit, but we both knew what it was. There was no need for Jock to wait because I was going in either way, and if she was on some shit, I would just hop in the shower and take my ass to sleep.
I stepped into Nonie’s house and it was dark and quiet. I could tell from watching shorty all night that she was lit, so that meant that she was likely knocked out. After locking up again, I stopped by the kitchen first and checked the fridge. I hadn't been by her spot in about two weeks, so I didn't know if she had laced me or not, but sure enough, she had a six pack of Heineken sitting pretty for me. I smiled, thinking about how her mean ass always tried to front like she hated me but still made sure she looked out.