When You Know It’s Real(30)

“No, I can't. That changes my situation, but not his.”

“Girl, stop. The way Siah was up in here acting a fool about you, kissing on you and defending you didn't go unnoticed. You’d have to be blind not to notice it, Nonie. I wouldn't be surprised if Royce didn't already know and was too damn scary to say shit about it, so like it or not, you’re Siah’s girl. I mean you’ve been that for a long time, but now everybody knows.”

“Yeah, well it still doesn’t change who he is. You ready to get out of here, though?”

“I’m ready. Besides, Jock keeps blowing up my phone, telling me to hurry up.”

“You’re talking about me, what about you? You know that Jock knows Red is cheating on you. Siah told him, so he’s probably wondering why you haven’t said anything to him yet.”

“I know, but I’m not talking to him about that, so it doesn't matter. Until I figure out what I want to do, nothing's changing.”

When I was on my feet, Kizzie threw her arms around me and kissed me on my cheek. “You’ll be alright. This is just that push you needed. Siah makes you happy, and I know it's not perfect, but give it time and it could be.”

“Thanks, Kiz, and the same with you, Jock, and Red,” I said with a smirk, which made her shove me so hard I almost fell over.

“Here I am trying to be a good friend, and you got jokes.”

I was laughing but I hugged Kizzie around the waist as she tried to walk away. “I'm just playing, Kiz. You know I love you, boo.”

“Whatever, man.”

She shoved me away from her body and we both left the club. I hopped in my car while she got in hers, and we left the parking lot following each other.

When I pulled into my driveway I exhaled slowly, knowing that Siah was in my house because I could see my bedroom light on and I knew I had shut everything off before I left. I was a little OCD with things like that. As much as I wanted to see him, I knew he was going to have a problem with me defending Royce, so I got out and made my way to the door, prepared for a fight.

After I was in my house, I locked up and headed to my bedroom. My door was open, but the bathroom door was closed and I could hear that the shower was on. The clothes that Siah wore to the club were laying across my dresser and I noticed blood in the pale grey button up, which let me know that what everyone was whispering about Jamar was true.

I emptied his pockets and dumped his clothes into my hamper, not really moved by the fact that they were blood stained. It wasn't that I was okay with it, but knowledge of stuff like that came with having Yosiah in my life. It was a part of who he was, basically his life. I had experienced it before, and I had to accept it if I was accepting him.

Honestly, I couldn’t count the number of times that Siah had shown up at my house covered in blood, breaking down guns so that he could get rid of the pieces. Or the number of times that I’d heard him meet with Jock about setting up hits for someone who had crossed him. It was his life and I was in it, which meant that it was my life too.

I kicked off my shoes and unzipped my dress just as Siah stepped out the bathroom with a towel secured around his waist. My eyes roamed his body, but his stayed locked on mine.

“You just get here?” he asked over his shoulder after he walked over to the dresser, pulled open a drawer, and lifted a pair of grey boxer briefs. Once he had them in his hand, he let his towel hit the floor and then stepped into them.

“Yeah, how long you been here?” I asked, watching him from across the room.

“Not long. Sit down so we can talk,” he said calmly, but I could see the agitation in his expression.

I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge so that I was on one side and he was on the other.

“I apologize for fucking up your event. I know that’s important to you and it won't happen again, no matter what the circumstances.”

“It's fine, it wasn't a big deal.”

He stared at me for a moment and simply nodded before he spoke again. “You good, though?” he asked.

I shrugged but didn't answer.

“Nonie, I asked if you were good.”

“I’m fine.”

“Look, Pretty, I know that shit didn't happen the way you wanted it to, but you can't keep nursing that nigga’s feelings. He’s grown, and he’ll figure that shit out. Yeah, I get you feel bad because you cheated, but it's not like you loved that nigga or anything.”

Siah stopped abruptly like he was almost waiting for me to confirm that I didn't, and when I remained quiet, he kept going.

“So it is what it is, Nonie. Shit ain't fair sometimes, and if he can't get over that, it's on him, not on you. You can't keep trying to make shit right for something you didn't mean to do. It’s done and over with.”