When You Are Mine(25)

       

"Are you drunk?"

"Not this time. She's here, right?"

"I'm here." Walsh's gut tightened at the sound of Kerris's voice. "Is everything okay, Cam? It's late."

"I know, baby." His voice dipped a little lower. "I need to speak to you alone."

"Okay. Mer, go on back to sleep."

"Just holler if you need me," Walsh heard Meredith say before the sound of her feet shuffling off reached his ears.

"I had a lap dance tonight." Cam's abrupt confession sounded sharp and clear.

"Okaaaaaay." Walsh could almost picture Kerris's delicate features  crinkling with the question before she asked it. "Did it make you  realize you're not ready to get married or something?"

"No!" The fierce denial disappointed Walsh. "Just the opposite. I  didn't … feel anything. I mean, you know, I'm a guy. So I was aroused."

"I think we can skip certain details." Walsh heard a smile creeping back into Kerris's tired voice.

"I just didn't want us to go into tomorrow with that between us," he  mumbled. "Guys were taking pictures and stuff, and I didn't want that to  get back to you. For you to think I'd done something wrong. She just  sat down and started grinding on me."

"Again with the details, Cam." Kerris's husky laugh made Walsh want to  run up the stairs and tickle her sides like he had at the birthday  party, so she'd laugh some more.

"I just want you to know I won't hurt you that way." Walsh had never  heard Cam so solemn. "I've never been faithful to anybody, Kerris, but I  will be to you. I promise."

"I believe you, Cam."

"I love you, Ker."

And then it was quiet. Walsh gripped the edge of the bench, cutting off  the blood flow to his fingers. Cam was kissing her. And he had every  fucking right, but Walsh wanted to rip his head from his shoulders.

"Time for you to go." Kerris accompanied the admonishment with a laugh.  "I've heard it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding,"

"We already had all our bad luck. Tomorrow's a fresh start for us."

"A fresh start. Yeah." Walsh could hear the smile just beneath her words. "See you in the morning."

"G'night."

It was Cam's last word before he stomped down the stairs over their  heads. Hearing Kerris excited about her fresh start with Cam had sobered  Walsh. He still believed she was making a mistake marrying Cam with  this attraction between them, but hearing his friend's desperate grasp  at the happiness that had always eluded him, and was now so close at  hand, convinced Walsh that he could not be the reason it slipped away.  He blinked a few times, wishing the pain would shift. It felt like a  rock lodged under his heart.

He noticed for the first time that Jo had tears in her eyes. She blinked  several times, but a few managed to trickle down the keen lines of her  face. A realization started unfolding in his mind, at first questioning  and then, as he saw her still holding back tears, it hardened into  certainty.

"You're in love with Cam," Walsh whispered, awestruck that he had been  so close for so long and never seen it. It was skywritten all over his  cousin's face.

"That's ridiculous." Jo swiped at a tear, reining her mouth into a stiff line.

"I know what I saw, Jo, so don't try to play me off. I know you."

She was silent, rubbing her palms up and down her slim thighs, biting her lip.

"Why torture yourself planning their wedding?"

"I don't-"

"Please don't insult me," Walsh cut in. "I didn't see it before, but I do now. So why'd you do it?"

She hesitated, closing her eyes before finally speaking.

"Because he deserves to be happy. And she makes him happy."

"Did you ever tell him? There's still time to stop this."

Jo lasered her eyes on him, pointing one long finger in his face.

"I couldn't stop Cam from marrying Kerris now even if I wanted to, which I don't. I love him, yes, but she makes him happy."                       
       
           



       

"Why, Jo? Cam loves you!"

"Like a sister, Walsh. He's not attracted to me."

"How do you know?"

"I just know." Jo twisted the ring on her thumb. "Let's leave it at that."

"No, what do you mean?"

"He doesn't see me that way. I put feelers out once or twice. The second  time I did it, I wasn't subtle. He didn't speak to me for almost a  month." A bitter smile settled around Jo's full mouth. "I finally went  to him and apologized for doing anything to give him the wrong  impression. I could see the relief on his face. It took a long time for  things to get back to normal."

"But if-"

"Look, this is useless. I've accepted it and have moved on."

"That look on your face was not ‘moved on,'" Walsh said, more convinced than ever this wedding was a mistake.

He thought this was a love triangle between him, Kerris, and Cam. It had  taken on quadrilateral proportions, with Jo adding a new dimension to  his fear that this wedding shouldn't happen. But what could he do? He  wanted to charge up those stairs Cam had just left, bang on the door,  scoop Kerris up, start running to New York, and make a life for the two  of them where no one would bother them.

But they would be bothered.

There were too many people he cared about who'd be left brokenhearted,  disappointed, angry, and resentful. Starting with Cam and ending with  his own mother.

Walsh could only hope he was wrong about how badly this could turn out.  But hope couldn't make things right. The only thing that felt right was  him with Kerris, and with each minute ticking toward tomorrow's wedding,  Walsh knew there wasn't enough hope in the world to make that happen.





Chapter Eighteen



It's disgusting how beautiful of a bride you are, Kerris." Jo shared a small smile with Kerris in the mirror.

Kerris studied herself as a bride for the first time. The exoticism of  her own face set in ivory satin and tulle snatched her breath. Her full  mouth was painted a deep berry, like ripe fruit. Her amber eyes stared  back at her. She'd been called beautiful more than once in her life, but  now she felt it truly for the first time. She assumed every woman did  on her wedding day.

"Cam may run up the aisle to snatch you." Jo said it like a joke, but her face held no levity.

"He's kind of doing that already, isn't he?" Meredith zipped up her  chocolate-colored maid-of-honor dress. "Isn't he meeting you halfway?"

"Yeah, he is." Kerris tugged at the neckline, needing something to  occupy her. "I didn't have anyone to give me away. He says it reinforces  that we'll have each other from now on."

Jo met Kerris's eyes in the mirror again, and this time the other woman  barely caught the tears before they drifted down her cheeks. Kerris knew  Jo and Cam were nearly as close as he and Walsh. She must be as happy  as a sister would be to finally see Cam settled.

"You love Cam, right, Kerris?" Jo's voice held such emotion, Kerris  found herself blinking back tears, too. "You'll take care of him, won't  you?"

"Yes, I'll take care of him, Jo, and yes I love him." Kerris felt this  vow somehow was just as important as the ones she would exchange with  her groom.

"It's time." Jo's smile was a mere pull at the corners of her mouth. "Cam's waiting for you."

"It's time?" Kerris's hand flew to the ivory snood encasing her long, dark fall of hair, the netting barely containing it all.

She had forgone a traditional veil, and was glad to at least feel good  about what she was wearing from head toe, including Iyani's bracelet.  She cast one more rueful glance at the cymbidium orchid Jo had insisted  wasn't in keeping with the army of lilies they'd ordered, its velvety  yellow petals uselessly beautiful. She picked up the bouquet of lilies  Jo had selected.

Kerris crossed the few feet of grass to Cam, who waited halfway down the  garden aisle to take her to the preacher. Goose bumps broke out over  her skin and a cold trickle of perspiration slid down the center of her  back. It was early October, and they were experiencing a classic Indian  summer. Summer and fall split custody of the weather, yielding defiant  bright sunshine and cool air. It wasn't just the light breeze cooling  her, though. She looked into Cam's face, so sincere and open and earnest  in a way she didn't deserve. Apprehension trembled along her nerve  endings like a premonition. This was permanent. This was forever. An  irretrievable promise.                       
       
           



       

Her eyes snapped to the tall, silent man already waiting at the  clearing, facing Meredith. She felt the weight of a hundred pairs of  eyes. All eyes but Walsh's, which were trained on some point over  Meredith's shoulder. Her heart contracted into a tightly muscled ball,  frozen between beats. Her feet faltered, causing the tiniest of  stumbles.