He shook his head, twisting his lips in self-mockery. How ironic that she derided fate, soul mates, and destiny. Hadn't he held similar views? Hadn't he always assumed he'd just marry the girl he enjoyed the most in bed? Someone who'd be a good mother to his children and the arm candy he'd need to impress his exclusive social circle? Someone to whom he could remain faithful, given how his father had disrespected his mother with his blatant infidelity. That idea was so tepid beside this hurricane of feeling for Kerris.
Meeting her rocked every notion he'd held about love and marriage. How could he explain the instant recognition he'd felt for her? The confusion of feeling he'd wrestled with all summer crystallized into something so frightening he could barely breathe as it permeated his consciousness. His heart had known, and his head was just now catching up.
Kerris was his.
Despite the differences in their backgrounds-the advantages he'd grown up with and she had never known, the family he'd practically been smothered by and the gaping void in her life where familial love should have been-despite everything about them that was opposite, they fit.
The kiss they'd shared in the hospital had been more than "fine." It had been consuming, flaming, desperate. To hear that she didn't experience a measure of that passion with Cam humbled yet confounded him. It angered him to think she would settle for less. That she would turn her back on something so rare. Fear wrapped steely fingers around his throat, constricting his breath. If she accepted Cam's proposal tonight, it would set them on a course of inevitable destruction.
"Dammit." He scrambled down the gazebo steps, racing across the lawn and into the house. "Sorry, Kerris. I can't let you do it."
Chapter Fifteen
Hey, I was wondering where you were," Cam said when Kerris returned to his side and took his hand. "Ker, this is Sebastian. He owns that new gallery on Main we saw a couple of weeks ago."
"Oh, that's a beautiful space." Kerris smiled at the man without really registering his features, still off kilter after her conversation with Walsh. "Did Cam tell you he paints? His work is amazing."
"She has to say that." Cam shrugged, modesty like a rented jacket on his shoulders. "She's my girlfriend."
"You're a lucky man." Sebastian's eyes lingered on Kerris's face. "I've actually seen some of his work. He's very gifted. I was telling him I just got back from Paris. Still the strongest artistic community in the world. Such a convergence of culture and art and expression."
Kerris nodded, her mind only half on the conversation. She wasn't in the mood for Sebastian's pompous posturing.
"Cam, I'm going to the bathroom for a minute." She leaned into his shoulder. "And then maybe we can go?"
"Yeah." Cam bent to kiss the top of her head, whispering in her ear. "We still have a lot to talk about."
Tonight there would be no escape. She knew what her answer should be, but she couldn't imagine "yes" actually coming out of her mouth; that word would burn any bridge that could ever lead to Walsh, but she would say it tonight.
She didn't have to use the bathroom, but needed a few moments to herself. She sat on the lid of the toilet seat, collecting her scattered emotions in a closed stall. She'd thought it strange that a residential bathroom would have stalls, but she realized the Walshes had built this section of the house with entertaining on a grand scale in mind, almost like a reception hall.
Kerris rehearsed the night in her head. Sofie's deliberate needling. Sharing her past with Walsh. Her argument with Walsh about marrying Cam.
What right did Walsh have to care? He wasn't offering her anything, had never hinted at a permanent relationship. A conflagration of sensations sparked between them every time they touched. It was incredible, but it wasn't enough. In the end, it could never be enough for her. And he'd never, could never, want anything more with her.
* * *
"Who was that girl dancing with Walsh?"
The voice reaching Kerris through the closed stall door was vaguely familiar.
"Got an extra hairpin, Ard? Which girl?"
That voice Kerris would know anywhere. Sofie.
"Short. Really pretty." Kerris could hear Ardis digging around in her purse, presumably for the hairpin. "Dark hair. She looked familiar."
"She should've looked familiar, she was just cleaning your bathroom this morning. Remember? That's Cam's girlfriend." Sofie laced her voice with the condescending pseudo-pity Kerris was coming to hate. "One of those foster college kids. At one point, I thought the poor thing had a crush on Walsh. Wouldn't that have been pathetic?"
Anger and hurt burned their way up Kerris's throat. She gripped the sides of the toilet seat, wishing Sofie's throat were in her hands.
"What about you and Walsh? You think he'll ever pop the question?" Ardis asked.
"Ouch, careful with that hairpin. It's not a weapon. To answer your question, I have to be patient for a little while longer. And then I'll have everything I've been waiting for."
"And what's that?"
"Oh, Walsh's ring, his name, his babies, and his fortune." Sofie's I-was-born-ready laugh slithered over Kerris's nerves. "We've known we'd be together since we were kids."
"Walsh didn't look like he knew tonight when he was dancing with that girl."
"Believe me, he knows I'm the one for him, Ard."
"Why? Because of your trust fund?"
"Honey, Walsh Bennett is my trust fund." Sofie's words were slickly coated and smooth. "I mean, not literally. Of course, I have my own money, but he's my future. I don't mind his little flirtations because I know where he'll end up. I've waited this long, and the wait is almost over."
"If you say so."
"I know so, and so does he. Walsh and I actually talked tonight about getting married. I gave him permission to sow his wild oats."
Kerris's mouth dropped open, the words pounding into her chest with the force of a wrecking ball.
"Wow, that's big of you," Ardis said, sarcasm evident in her tone.
"He can sow the oats. I'll reap the harvest. Come on. Let's get back to the party."
Kerris clamped her lips against a whimper. Tonight? Before he'd met her in the gazebo he'd talked with Sofie about getting married? Wild oats, huh? That only confirmed what Kerris had known all along. She was good enough to have as an appetizer, but only someone with Sofie's pedigree could be the main dish.
Walsh would never marry a girl like Kerris, and more than anything, she wanted a family. Cam was the man for her, and she loved him in her own way. She really did. So what if her heart didn't flutter when she saw him? And who cared if his kisses didn't enflame her?
As soon as she was sure the coast was clear, Kerris poked her head out, walking toward the door, steps heavy but sure.
Cam leaned against the wall, hands buried in his pockets. He straightened as soon as he saw her coming. The uncertainty in his eyes stopped her. With one word, she could wipe it away. She knew it. This was it. Now or never.
"Yes. My answer is yes."
"To what?" Cam frowned before her words completely sank in. "You mean … you're saying … are you-"
"I'll marry you." Kerris tested out a convincing smile, wondering if he had changed his mind.
He disabused her of that notion, scooping her up, his forearms under her bottom. He held her up to look down at him, letting out an exuberant whoop and twirling her around.
"You won't regret it, Ker," he said once they'd finally stopped circling, his expression clearer and lighter than she had ever seen it.
And in that moment, she really believed she had done the right thing.
* * *
"Dude, we need to talk," Walsh said, glad to finally have found Cam after scouring the room for the last ten minutes.
"Can it wait?" A wide grin plastered Cam's face. "I've got news."
"Sure, I guess it can wait, but not too long."
Walsh had to bite the bullet and get his feelings for Kerris out in the open. Better now than later, when it would only be more painful for everyone involved. And the sooner he told Cam, the sooner he could convince Kerris that they were meant for each other, that she shouldn't be so quick to dismiss the notion of soul mates because he was pretty sure that's what they were.
"Don't you want to know my news?" Cam looked like he would combust any minute.
"Shoot." Walsh's patience frayed at the delay.
"She said yes, man."