"Not at all. I just wish I could've seen Kyle's face."
She smiled as she remembered. "He went white as a sheet."
"Good. Maybe it gave him the jolt he needs."
"In what way?"
"I haven't given up hope that he'll come to his senses and call the whole thing off."
Olivia pictured Kyle and Noelle as they'd been at dinner. They hadn't seemed particularly close, but they were dealing with a lot of stress, even more than normally accompanied a wedding. She wasn't convinced she could get an accurate reading from what she'd seen. "Maybe he loves her."
"You and I both know who he loves."
She hadn't expected Brandon to be so candid. "There is the baby-"
"Jumping into a marriage destined to end in divorce won't help the baby." He lowered his voice in a way that demanded an honest answer. "Would you take him back?"
"No!"
"You're done with him no matter what he does, no matter how much he begs?"
"He won't beg. You know Kyle. Once he's made up his mind, that's it. He'd never embarrass Noelle, my parents or your family by backing out. Whatever else he might be, he's a man of his word. But I'm done with him."
"And now you're all mine."
The zap she'd experienced earlier, the one that left her feeling slightly giddy, struck again, like a lightning bolt out of the clear blue sky. Which made no sense. She was still in love with Kyle-although their relationship was completely and totally over.
Assuming it was basic chemistry, the kind that could come out of nowhere even with a complete stranger, she shrugged off her reaction. He was merely referring to what she'd said earlier. "Or so they think. I'm sorry I went that far. I had no right to drag you into something that could have long-term repercussions inside your own family. But … it won't turn out to be a big deal. I let both him and Noelle know it's not serious. We don't have to go around holding hands or anything. Maybe a smile or two at the wedding-that's all."
"You're saying you implied we're not making love, just having sex."
"Exactly. But I made sure they knew it was mind-blowing." She tried to joke a little herself but the images that flashed through her head-images of Brandon's mouth on hers-made her words anything but funny.
"There's only one problem," he said.
"What's that?"
"If you told them it was casual, they already know you were lying."
For some reason, she was having difficulty catching her breath. "What makes you say that?"
"Honey, you're not capable of casual."
She'd certainly been more circumspect than he had. But that didn't mean she couldn't play the same game of Catch Me If You Can. "How do you know? I'm just as capable of free and easy as anyone."
"You're speaking from experience? You've had other ‘free and easy' relationships?"
She thought of the two men she'd slept with. Both had been long-term, steady boyfriends. "Not yet," she admitted. "But after what I've been through, I'm not looking for a commitment. I think everyone understands that. Emotional entanglements are too … sticky and … and confining." The memory of Kyle coming forward to tell her he'd been with Noelle made her want to bang her head on the steering wheel again. "Not to mention painful," she added. "And when they don't work out you have to deal with regret for getting involved in the first place."
"I couldn't have said it better myself."
"Why shouldn't I have my fun just like everyone else?" she asked, warming to her defiance. "I'm twenty-seven. I can do whatever I want."
"Now you're getting me excited."
She heard the humor in his voice but chose to ignore it. "Maybe I've been playing it too safe. Maybe I wouldn't be the one nursing a broken heart if I was willing to take a walk on the wild side once in a while."
"I'll buy that."
Again, she ignored the subtle smile in his voice because she loved feeling empowered. Just the idea of breaking the rules and getting away with it seemed to revive her flagging spirits. She could fight back if she wanted to!
But her enthusiasm dimmed as fast as it had dawned when he said, "Great. Come on over. Venus is out tonight. I'll show you."
Shit. She'd gone too far. She'd merely wanted him to respect her as someone equally capable of making that choice. Instead he'd called her bluff.
Suddenly feeling the need to backpedal, she searched for a good excuse. "I would, but … you're not the right kind of guy for my first hook-up."
"Are you kidding?" he said. "I'm the perfect guy. And I'm volunteering."
"That's kind of you, but … it wouldn't be … smart."
"Define smart."
"We wouldn't gel. We're not … compatible."
"Because … "
She swallowed hard. He knew he appealed to women, knew she was no exception. What would he accept that would allow her to save face? "I'd be a boring partner for a thrill-seeker like you."
"That's like saying you have to wash your hair," he said flatly. "If you're stepping up your game, you're really going to have to do better."
"It's not as lame as you're making it sound."
"It's worse. Face it. You're all talk."
"No, I'm not," she said. "Think of the women you've been with. The variety. The experience. I'd be … meat and potatoes when you're used to caviar."
"Olivia?"
It wasn't hot outside. As a matter of fact, it was a bit chilly. Yet she was sweating. "Yes?"
"Why don't you let me decide what turns me on?"
Because she'd long ago eliminated Brandon as a romantic possibility. She knew she couldn't remain as aloof as he did. He seemed to sense the same thing, seemed to understand that she wasn't capable of dealing with someone like him. "You've never even acted interested."
"Do you remember prom?" he asked.
Of course she did. That night was tucked away in a special file in her brain, one she accessed every now and then so she could relive his good-night kiss. No one else had ever kissed her in quite the same way.
But she didn't want to think about that now. She was too scared. And not just because of her recent experience with Kyle. She'd been scared of Brandon from the beginning. "That was years ago."
"I know. But I've wanted you ever since. I'll be here if you change your mind," he said and hung up.
* * *
Olivia pressed her good hand over her face. She wasn't sure what had just happened, how she and Brandon had rounded the corner from "acquaintances who'd once had a class together and went to a school dance" to "I've wanted you ever since" in such a short time. She figured it was her fault. She'd sent the wrong signals, especially when she'd had to let Brandon know she'd been telling others they were having sex. She supposed it was natural for him to take advantage if he sensed an opportunity. But she couldn't accept what he'd offered, no matter how reckless and angry and fatalistic she might be feeling. One night with him would be enough to set her recovery back by months.
Somehow, her life just kept getting more complicated....
She told herself to head back to her parents' house and turn in. She had so much to do in the morning. She had an early appointment with the events coordinator at the Pullman Mansion, where they were having the wedding and the reception. She also had to track a shipment of candy jars she'd ordered on the internet to find out why they hadn't yet arrived. And if those jars weren't going to make it in time, she needed to come up with an alternative. After that, she was scheduled to meet with the florist to see about adding lights to the centerpieces, and then the DJ so she could provide him with a playlist. All before the rehearsal dinner.
This wedding had to go without a hitch, had to run more smoothly than any event she'd ever planned, or she'd get the blame for anything that went wrong. After all her efforts, she certainly didn't want to be accused of sabotage. If she wanted to let her parents down, she could've done that by refusing to handle it in the first place.
Too bad she didn't have internet, or she could work on her computer right here, she thought with a frown. Her parents had service, but she was still dragging her feet about returning there. She preferred to wait until Kyle had gone and Noelle was in bed, and she didn't think she'd let enough time pass for that to have happened.
Briefly she considered renting a room at one of the two bed and breakfasts in town. They'd have internet. But she didn't dare spend the money. Her savings was off-limits. Besides, one of Kyle's best friends owned The Gold Nugget. That crossed it off her list right there.