“I want coffee.”
“No,” he said mildly.
“I’m thirteen now. I should be allowed coffee. Besides, you’re not the boss of me.”
He raised his eyebrows. She sighed.
“Okay, maybe you are the boss of me but you don’t have to act like it all the time.”
“Fine. Have you had coffee before?”
“Once, with Angelina.”
“Did you like it?”
“No, but everybody drinks it all the time. I live in Seattle now. I have to join in.”
“You want a drink you know you don’t like? Okay, kid, you’re on.”
“While you’re in a good mood, I want to say that Callie’s nearly done with her driver’s training. She’s taking her test in a couple of weeks.”
“I know. And?”
“And you should buy her a car.”
“You’re very free with other people’s money.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “You’re rich and she’s your sister. You like her and she needs a car. Besides, when does anyone ever get to be that much of a hero except in the movies?”
“You might have a point.”
“Might, smight. You know I do.”
He grinned at her. “Yes, you do.”
It was a great idea and he was sorry he hadn’t thought of it himself. The kid had game.
They reached the front of the line.
“I’ll have a mocha,” Keira said confidently. “With extra whip. And one of the egg and sausage sandwiches. And a chocolate croissant.” She looked at Malcolm out of the corner of her eye, as if not sure the order was all right.
“I’ll have the same food,” he told the woman at the cash register. “But make my coffee a regular latte.”
They found a table by the window. Keira sat across from him. After a couple of seconds, she said, “How do you know if you like someone? Like a boy. I guess a girl for you. And if you like them, then what? I’m not sure I get the whole dating thing. I mean why do it? I’m not sure I like boys yet. They can be mean sometimes. My therapist says that being mean isn’t just for boys and that I should be careful and at the same time give people a chance.”
She shifted in her seat. “I kind of know what she’s saying but when you think about, it really doesn’t make sense. One of my foster sisters was raped by our foster brother. I wasn’t there when it happened, but it scared me and I know not all boys do that, but some do.”
Just when he thought things were going well, life jumped up to kick him in the ass, he thought grimly. He honest to God had no idea what to say or do.
“Did you talk about what happened with your therapist?” he asked.
“Yeah. It was right before you came and got me, so I wasn’t sad to leave that house. And it didn’t happen to me, but I don’t know. There’s this guy at school I think is cute and sometimes he smiles at me. I like that, but the rest of it, I’m not so sure. Sex sounds really stupid.”
“It can be, which is why it’s a good idea to wait. Back to your foster sister.” He paused while a server delivered their breakfast. “What happened to the boy?”
“The police came and he was taken away. I don’t know anything else. I left a few days later. Everyone was upset, though, and there was a lot of crying.”
He was so out of his depth and completely the wrong person to be having this conversation. Only Keira needed to talk to someone and for reasons he would never understand, she’d chosen him.
“Keira, a good guy won’t hurt you,” he began.
“How do you know the difference?”
“Sometimes it’s hard to tell, so you have to listen to your gut. If you’re uncomfortable, pay attention to that. As for dating and sex, that’s a long way off. I think this is something we should continue to talk about over time.”
She bit into her sandwich and nodded. “That’s what my therapist said, too.”
“How would you feel about taking up some kind of martial arts? So you’d be able to beat the crap out of anyone who tried to hurt you.”
Her eyes widened. “That would be so cool. Could I do that?”
“Sure. Let me do some research. I’ll find a class and you can get started.”
The sport would give her confidence, he thought. And she would know she could handle some handsy asshole who tried to take advantage of her.
“How about if I took the class with you?” he asked.
She grinned. “I double-dog dare you to do that. Let’s ask Callie to come, too. It will be all of us.”
“You’re on.”
“Yay!” She took a sip of her coffee and wrinkled her nose. “That is so gross.”
“Want a hot chocolate?”
She sighed. “Yes, please. I’m sorry I wasted your money ordering this. Thank you for not making me drink it anyway.”
“You have life lessons to learn. Liking or not liking coffee isn’t one of them.”
She laughed and got up. He handed her five dollars, then called her name. She turned back to him.
He held out his arms and she threw herself against him. He held her close.
“I promise I will do my very best to always take care of you,” he whispered. “For always. I swear.”
Her thin arms tightened around him. “I know. I love you, Malcolm.”
Her words caught him off guard. His throat tightened and it was a second before he could speak.
“I love you, too, Keira.”
chapter twenty-seven
Sunday brunch at her dad’s house was better this week than the last time Delaney had been there. Conversation flowed easily, the food was delicious and she found her tension was dissipated. Probably the result of a wonderful evening, she thought.
The gala had raised nearly four million dollars for local children’s charities including two that supported hospitalized kids and their families. She and Malcolm had had a great time. They’d danced and laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. Later, at her place, when he’d made love to her, she’d felt a connection that had helped soothe the rough edges of her soul.
After the brunch dishes had been washed, Beryl excused herself to go shopping with a friend, leaving Delaney with her father. Delaney half suspected Beryl’s absence had been arranged in advance, which meant Phil had something to talk about. She sat on the sofa next to his wheelchair and waited. It didn’t take long.
Her father shook his head. “I’m worried about you, baby girl. Something’s going on and I don’t know what it is.”
Her good mood evaporated. She tried to hang on to the feelings, but they faded as if they’d never been and she was left uneasy and empty.
“Dad, I’m okay. I’m wrestling with a few things, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Like whether or not you want to be a naturopath?”
“What? How do you know that?”
He squeezed her hand. “Delaney, I raised you. Of course I know what you’re thinking. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through so much since the shooting. Losing Tim, me. Everything’s different. You loved your old job—I never understood why you felt the need to leave it.”
“I was too exhausted,” she admitted, remembering that time. “I didn’t have anything left. I felt as if I needed to change.”
There had been more. A gnawing restlessness that had never left her. A need to help or run or something...
“Do you think you made a mistake?” he asked. “Leaving finance?”
“Maybe.”
“You could go back.”
“No. It’s too late.”
“It’s only been a few months. I’m sure you could find something at Boeing. Or maybe another company.” He grinned. “Beryl loves shopping on Amazon. Go work there so we can use your employee discount.”
She tried to smile and failed. “Dad, it’s not that easy.”
“Sure it is. You’re the one making it hard.” He studied her for a few seconds. “I know you still miss Tim, but you’ve got to let him go, Delaney. You can’t live in the past.”
Something burned hot and dark inside of her. Like a collapsing star, she felt pulled into something she couldn’t define.
She wasn’t going to say anything, she promised herself. She was going to nod and listen and—
“I don’t,” she said before she could stop herself. “I don’t miss him. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to marry him. I felt trapped and alone even before he was killed. It was awful, Dad. To fit in, to be like everyone I grew up with, was really hard. I’d been with Tim forever. How could I not be with him? But I wasn’t sure. That’s why I kept putting off the wedding. I couldn’t let go, but I couldn’t surrender to what was happening.”
She turned away as tears slipped down her cheeks. “I know that makes me awful. I just didn’t know how to tell anyone I didn’t want to be with him. Not him, not you, not anyone.”
Her father squeezed her hand again. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“Right,” she said bitterly. “Because I’m supposed to mourn Tim forever. I’m never allowed to move on or have a life or anything.” She stood and glared at him. “That’s what’s wrong, Dad. That’s why I can’t decide. I don’t know who I am or who I get to be, because it sure as hell isn’t my decision.”