“I can’t believe they’re that old already.” Delaney remembered when her friend had first been pregnant. She did the math in her head and realized Chelsea’s oldest had to be close to nine.
“It seems like only yesterday that we were in high school,” Delaney admitted.
“Tell me about it.” Chelsea motioned to the restaurant. “Remember when my mom would bring us here for special occasions? But it had to be extra special, like getting As or something.” She sighed. “Then, when we were teenagers, we would walk through the store and pretend we could afford to buy all the pretty clothes. Good times.”
“They were.”
Their server stopped by the table. They each ordered a glass of chardonnay.
“I’ll have the Shrimp and Crab Louis,” Chelsea said.
“The BLT salad for me.”
“This is nice,” Chelsea said. “Remember when it was the four of us? You and Tim and me and Isaac? That was the best.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“Was it? Sometimes it feels like Tim was here just yesterday. Do you ever get that feeling?”
Delaney told herself Chelsea didn’t mean anything by her comment, that there wasn’t a hidden message saying it was too soon to have her own life. But the words made her uncomfortable. They were familiar, as was the sense of being trapped. So many of her friends and neighbors had talked about him being such a huge part of her life. She’d been told over and over again that she could never find anyone like him.
Delaney got that they’d been in pain, too, and she had missed Tim desperately. It was just, with him gone like that, she’d started to realize how stuck she’d felt.
“It’s been eighteen months,” Delaney said. “That’s a long time.”
“I know, but you started dating him in high school.” Chelsea sighed. “I guess it’s different for you. You had other things to distract you.”
“You mean like my dad? That was so hard.”
She shook her head. “I meant your job and your other life. Isaac and the kids are all I have. If I lost one of them, I would never get over it. I’d never be able to move on.”
Delaney held in the need to snap that Chelsea had no idea what she would or wouldn’t do. That she’d never suffered on that level. She told herself that she wasn’t being judged, no matter how it felt.
“You’re strong,” Delaney said lightly. “But I hope you never have to lose anyone you care about.”
Chelsea shot her a look Delaney couldn’t read.
“How’s school?” her friend asked.
“Difficult. Good. I’m wondering if I’m doing the right thing. I’m less excited about being a doctor than I’d expected. I miss working for Boeing.”
“So go back to it.”
“I’m not sure it’s that simple.” Would they take her back? She would have lost whatever momentum she’d had in her career, but maybe she could make that up.
“So you’re still not willing to be one of us,” Chelsea said, her tone light but her gaze sharp.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not talking about finding someone and getting married, then popping out a few kids.”
“Just five minutes ago you said I should feel like Tim is still with me.”
“No, I didn’t. Why would you say that?”
“Because that’s how it sounded to me. Like everyone wants me to stay in the past.”
“You can do whatever you want,” Chelsea told her. “You always have.”
“What does that mean?”
“Just that you’ve changed so much.”
“Me? What about you?”
“I’m who I’ve always been. The rest of us stayed in the neighborhood, got married and had a family. Not you. You had to go get your fancy degree, then a fancy job. Look at the car you drive. For that much money, I could add two bedrooms onto my house.”
Delaney didn’t understand what was happening. “Why does my car have anything to do with your house?”
“You’re different. Our dreams were never good enough for you.”
Their server returned with their glasses of wine. Delaney ignored hers while Chelsea took a big swallow.
“You always looked down on me for having kids so young,” she continued. “You treated me like I was stupid.”
“That is so unfair.” Delaney noticed people looking at them and consciously lowered her voice. “It’s also not true. I never judged you. I wanted something different but that doesn’t mean I didn’t respect you or your choices. You’re the one who pulled away. You’re the one who stopped being my friend when I didn’t want what you wanted. You could talk for hours about being pregnant or having a newborn but you had no interest in me. You didn’t want to hear about my work or any of it.”
“You didn’t love him anymore,” Chelsea said loudly. “We could all see it. You stopped loving him and you were going to marry him anyway.”
Heat seared Delaney’s face and humiliation held her immobile. She tried to speak, tried to breathe, but she couldn’t. Several patrons looked at her, then glanced away.
“He was a great guy,” Chelsea said, leaning toward her, her brown eyes bright with anger. “He loved you with everything he had, but it wasn’t enough. Not for you. And you know what’s ironic, because hey, even without going to college, I can still use ironic in a sentence. What’s ironic is all the time you wondered if he was good enough for you, we all knew it was the other way around. You weren’t good enough for him.”
She tossed her napkin on the table and stood. “Go to hell, Delaney.”
With that she turned and walked out. Their server walked up with two salads on huge plates.
“Shall I box these up?” she asked.
chapter twenty-four
Malcolm watched the last of the partygoers head out the door. The afternoon had been a success. He’d stayed in the kitchen and out of the way through the event, but he’d been close enough to hear that everyone got along and that the theme had been a hit.
“You and Callie outdid yourselves,” he told Delaney. “Thank you for all your help.”
She gave him a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. She’d been quiet ever since she’d arrived and he’d had the feeling something had happened.
For at least the third time he asked, “Are you all right?”
“I didn’t want to say anything before, but I’ve had a headache all day. I guess I thought it would go away, but it hasn’t. Would it be all right if I gave Keira my regrets and ducked out of the family dinner?”
“Of course,” he said automatically, even as his mind flashed back to all the excuses Rachel had given him throughout their relationship. There was always something going on, something she had to be doing. At the time he’d believed her. It was only when he caught her in bed with his father that he’d realized how much she’d been lying to him.
Delaney wasn’t Rachel, he reminded himself. She was open and honest and he had no reason not to trust her. He’d avoided entanglements since the breakup, isolating himself too much. Someone wonderful had caught his attention and he wasn’t going to blow it by acting like a jerk. His issues were his business, not hers.
“Let me drive you home. Carmen can follow in your car. It will only take a few minutes.”
For a second he thought she was going to cry, but instead she moved toward him. He automatically pulled her close.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “You’re very good to me. I’m not sure I deserve it.”
He lightly kissed her. “Of course you do. I’m sorry about the headache. I wish you’d said something before.”
“I didn’t want to take away from the party. And while I appreciate the offer to drive, I’m okay.” She squeezed his arms before stepping back. “I’ll go have a word with the birthday girl, then slip out.” She paused by the door. “Call me in the morning?”
“You call me,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to wake you if you’re sleeping in.”
“Thank you, Malcolm. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She headed upstairs for a few minutes. When she returned, she got her coat off a bench in the pantry, then walked out. He escorted her to the front door, kissed her again, then watched her leave. Something was wrong—he was sure of it. While he wanted to run after her and insist she tell him what it was, the more sensible section of his brain said to give her time. When she was ready to talk, she would.
The decision made but not fully accepted, he joined Callie in the living room where the presents from the family were piled high on the coffee table as they prepared for round two.
“Is Carmen still sulking?” Callie asked, her voice teasing.
“She gave me a stern talking-to,” he admitted, thinking of how the housekeeper had scolded him for arranging for dinner to be brought in. “She explained that next time I was to ask before hiring a caterer.”
He had a sudden thought that the women in his life were starting to confuse the hell out of him. “I was only trying to help. You and she made all the food for the party. I thought she might like a break.”