When She Was Bad(89)

Chloe tried to push aside these morbid thoughts. She was normally such a positive person, regularly posting gratitude lists on social media, but the oppressive atmosphere in the office (‘toxic’, Sarah had called it) was seeping into her. She didn’t look at Ewan, sitting two desks away, yet she was acutely conscious of his every movement, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, the flick-flick-flick of his pen against his desk as he held his phone to his ear, waiting for someone to pick up.

She forced herself to focus on her screen and began scrolling through the endless emails until her eye snagged on a familiar name. Gill Marsh. Greetings Fledgling! read the email. It was the nickname Gill had affectionately given her right from when she first took her on as a green intern not long out of university, but it no longer invoked that warmth of feeling. Instead she felt a prickling of unease. Just checking in for news of the weekend. Any gossip I should know about? Chloe glanced around the the office, feeling as if everyone must be looking at her, knowing what she was doing, what she’d done. Even when she’d reassured herself that the others were all occupied with their own stuff, she couldn’t shake off the idea of being judged. It’s not my fault, she wanted to say to them. I’m only twenty-four.

She wouldn’t answer the email, she decided. She’d done enough. Gone above and beyond what Gill could expect, really. The trouble was, she’d been so grateful to Gill – for giving her a full-time job, for taking her under her wing and being so nice to her, even at the start when she got everything wrong. Gill was the kind of patient, understanding boss everyone should have at the beginning of their career. She’d stood up for Chloe on the rare occasions when one of the others had got irritated with her for making a mistake, and she’d taken time out from her own busy schedule to mentor her, explaining how to prioritize her time and how to cope with criticism without taking it too personally. They’d been sort of friends, despite the age gap. Chloe had been outraged on Gill’s behalf when Gill had been so suddenly and summarily dismissed, as well as being upset for herself. She knew she’d miss her terribly. So when Gill had started pumping her for gossip barely hours after being escorted from the building, Chloe hadn’t minded in the least. As far as she was concerned, Gill had been treated appallingly and was still the rightful boss. Hadn’t all the big clients they were working with been secured by Gill? Weren’t all the systems they used ones that Gill had come up with? So when Gill had suggested that some gentle, behind-the-scenes ‘disruption’ might ensure that Rachel didn’t get past her probation period, Chloe hadn’t needed too much persuading. It was second nature for her to do Gill’s bidding without questioning it.

Changing the time on Sarah’s whiteboard so she’d messed up that meeting had been easy enough to do, but Chloe had felt a real pang of guilt when she’d seen how upset Sarah was, and how much flak she’d got from Rachel. Crushing up the laxatives to sprinkle in with the sugar had been Gill’s idea. ‘Just a tiny bit,’ she’d said when they’d met for an after-work drink and she’d handed Chloe the blister pack of pills. ‘Don’t worry, it won’t do any damage, just the odd dash to the loo to shake things up a bit.’ Obviously Chloe hadn’t done a good enough job of mixing the pills in because poor Charlie seemed to have borne the whole brunt of it, but Gill had been right. There was no long-term damage and he’d been right as rain after a few hours.

Gill had left the team-bonding weekend up to Chloe. I bet Mark Hamilton will go along, Gill had emailed Chloe. ‘Any excuse to get away from his wife. So it’s a great chance to do some low-level sabotage and make it really obvious Rachel isn’t in control. Just keep your eyes open for mischief-making opportunities.’

The safety-cord thing had been a momentary mad impulse, and of course it had proved to be a terrible mistake. When she’d realized how easy it would be to loosen the strap on the clasp that linked to the harness, she hadn’t thought for a minute that she might put anyone in danger. She’d been so angry with Ewan at that stage, she’d decided to give him a scare, ruffle him up a bit – maybe even humiliate him a little (that word again). When she’d got to the top of the first tower and everyone was in that euphoric giggling mood and helping each other up, she’d noticed the line of safety cords hanging from the top wire, waiting to be attached, and she hadn’t even stopped to think. She knew Ewan was second from the end because she’d seen him lining up before they started climbing, and she counted and recounted to make sure she got the right cord. How could she have guessed he’d switch with Paula at the last minute? Chloe hadn’t known what the expression ‘having your heart in your mouth’ was about until she’d stood on the far tower watching poor old Paula wobbling around in the middle of that rope bridge, scared out of her wits.