When She Was Bad(56)

Sarah was still crying, slow tears that slid down her cheeks and left drip marks on her T-shirt. Charlie stiffly put his arm around her, but Paula could tell from his stunned expression that he too was learning this news for the first time, and that it wasn’t exactly a welcome surprise.

‘Well. Nothing like a bit of drama to blow off the cobwebs,’ said Will, grinning round at everyone as if the force of his niceness might be enough to get them all back on an even keel. ‘Sarah will just have to shout encouragement from ground level. Shall we start?’

But the atmosphere of that first race where they’d all been rooting for each other – well, until Sarah and Charlie had spoiled things – had completely evaporated. Paula felt its loss keenly. There had been a moment when she and Mark Hamilton had been the only ones left unpaired and he’d turned to her and given her a mock bow, and just for a minute the tension that was as much a part of her as the rheumatism in her left thumb, or the mole on her shoulder that she checked religiously in the mirror every night in case it had changed shape during the day, had lifted and she’d felt pounds – no, stones – lighter. Not that she thought Mark Hamilton fancied her or anything. The few times they’d met in the office, his eyes had slid right over the top of her, even while his smile was still aimed in her general direction. But still in that moment she’d felt acknowledged, and that was enough.

Now, though, the mood was sombre as they queued to be fitted into their harnesses. Paula, being the most reluctant, was at the back. She noticed that Rachel’s face was stretched tight as if she was clenching every single muscle simultaneously.

‘I’d love to take a year-long holiday every couple of years,’ muttered Ewan, out of earshot of his bosses.

Paula rolled her eyes. Ewan would find out soon enough that babies were about as far away from a holiday as it was possible to get. But for now she was too ruffled herself by Sarah’s news to set him straight.

‘Well, I think it’s really lovely,’ said Chloe, whose arrival in the office had coincided with the end of Sarah’s last maternity leave so she’d hardly been affected. ‘Honestly, I don’t think it’s very feminist of you all to be so mean about it. It’s a woman’s right to have children and just because it’s not very convenient for the rest of us doesn’t mean we can all act so snotty about it.’

‘You won’t be saying that when you have to do loads of extra work to make up for us being a person down,’ said Amira.

‘Bet Rachel’s gutted. Just let her try sacking Sarah now,’ said Charlie.

‘Do you think that’s why she did it?’ asked Ewan.

Charlie made a snorting noise. ‘Pregnancy on demand? It doesn’t quite work that way. Even Sarah isn’t that fecund.’

By this time Chloe, Mark and Rachel had started climbing the tower. The others, having been clipped into their harnesses by Will’s child-like assistant Katie, were lined up waiting for their turn.

‘It’s Paula, isn’t it?’ Will was standing so close she could virtually feel the warmth from his wide beam. ‘If you’re a bit nervous, it might be an idea to swap places with Ewan here so that he’s behind you. That way, you’ll feel a bit more supported.’

Ewan obligingly unclipped his safety harness and the belt tying him to the person in front and Will helped Paula to get her own harness on. Only now, standing at the foot of the tower that looked a lot taller from this angle than it had from afar, did she start thinking about what she was about to do. What was she thinking? She was far too old to be doing this. It was irresponsible. How would her family cope if anything happened to her? Ian wouldn’t be able to afford the mortgage. The kids would lose their home.

She tugged on the thick cord that attached her to Ewan, now bringing up the rear. Her palms were slick with sweat and she wished she wasn’t wearing Ian’s bulky sweatshirt but couldn’t take it off without having to undo the whole harness.

‘Gosh, it’s hot, isn’t it?’ she asked Charlie who was now in front of her.

He looked at her as if she’d just said something incomprehensible.

‘Not so much,’ he replied eventually.

‘Just me then,’ she said. And tried to smile.

Now she noticed that Charlie was also looking pale and apprehensive. Poor thing. He was also way out of his comfort zone. It must be hard being a non-alpha man in this sort of environment. At least everyone expected her to be rubbish at it.

As if on cue, Will shouted over: ‘Right, next one up. Come on, you guys are doing seriously awesome. Give yourself a cheer.’