When It's Right(88)
“So, you were right, the head injury was the worst of it?”
“Yes. We got lucky. She woke up with her speech and thoughts slow, but over time she fully recovered.”
“Yet you blame yourself that she didn’t listen to you, when you knew the horse she was riding wouldn’t make the jump, and you yelled for her to stop.”
“I shouldn’t have goaded her into the race in the first place.”
Gillian shook her head and finished the last bite of her crab legs. “Not your fault. Once she got on that horse, it was her choice how fast she went and whether she should attempt the jump. Her choice not to stop when you warned her. It’s admirable that you want to take responsibility for what happened, but you can only own your part. She has to own hers.”
Blake had to admit she had a point. Seeing Abigail tonight put things into some perspective, too. She didn’t blame him, so why did he continue to blame himself? He’d made a mistake and learned from it. He’d never been that reckless again.
Until he’d met a hazel-eyed beauty, who’d stolen his heart and put his job, his partnership with Bud, their friendship, and his livelihood on the line.
“Maybe you’re right.”
She narrowed her eyes on him, and one side of her mouth dipped into a half frown.
“Okay, you’re right. Still, it was a stupid thing to do.”
“Everyone does stupid things. We’re human. We learn. We adapt. We hurt each other. Sometimes on purpose. Sometimes by accident. We say we’re sorry. We make up. A few people go a step further and do something amazing to make someone else happy. This dinner was wonderful, Blake. You’re a good man.”
“I’m trying to be for you.”
“You just are. It’s your nature. You never set out to hurt Abigail. You’d never purposely hurt me or anyone else. Thank you for tonight.”
“It’s not a selfless act. I got to spend the night with a beautiful woman.”
She smiled softly. “I hope this night doesn’t end any time soon.”
“We still have dessert.”
“Well, we’ve had my favorite tea and a wonderful San Francisco seafood dinner. I guess you’ve ordered strawberry shortcake for dessert.”
Blake panicked. “Uh, no.”
Gillian laughed. “I’m kidding. I bet you got a chocolate silk pie with loads of fresh whipped cream.”
He sighed out his relief. “Not cool.”
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself. Listen, I’m stuffed. How about we take the pie home with us for a midnight snack,” she suggested, with a hint of them needing the sustenance later. He liked her way of thinking.
“I don’t know how you remember all these little details,” she said.
“I pay attention to every little thing about you. Like although you got scared earlier, you’re putting on a brave front and trying your best to enjoy dinner without looking at the door a hundred times, even though you know I’m watching it for you. Your right eye squints when you’re nervous. You think I’m wondering if you’re going nuts, but you know I don’t think that at all. Besides, even if you are, I’m still taking you to bed tonight to do my best to wipe out all those thoughts and make you think of only one thing.”
“You’re all I want to think about.”
“You’ll get there. I’ll keep working on it.”
“You’re doing a really good job.”
When he walked her to the front of the restaurant and they stood before the door, she stopped and looked up at him. “I’m scared,” she whispered.
That quiet admission tore at his heart and made it bleed. She no longer lived to survive every day. That desperate need had been slowly dialed down and turned off with each day she lived on the ranch and grew to love and trust in him and her grandparents. Living every day the way she wanted made it that much harder to rev up her strength to fight her past.
“I can go out and check the lot before I come back and get you.”
“For who? My dead father?”
“Are you sure you didn’t mistake someone else for him, like you did with Gabe?”
“He kind of looked like that biker dude I saw when we went shopping the first week I was here.”
That got Blake’s attention and raised the hairs on the back of his neck. “Have you seen him any other times?” He didn’t want to frighten her more, but he needed to know if some guy was following her around. He needed to know if she wasn’t seeing a real man but her dead father and might need professional help.
“I think I saw him when I went shopping with Grandma Dee and at Justin’s school when I met with the sheriff. He was far away, but walking toward me. I rushed Justin into the truck and left.”